Tiwa had big questions about taking her relationship to the next level....
Tiwa 17, has been dating Bayo a 21 years old who lives on her street for about 7 months.
Recently Bayo has being asking her about taking their relationship to the next level. He said if she does it , it will show that she loves him.
Tiwa was confused. She spoke to her friends about it. According to her friends most girls have tried it.
A week ago Tiwa visited her older cousin who is a medical doctor. She told her about her boyfriend. She also told her what her friends said.
Although she wants to wait, she however doesn’t want to disappoint her boyfriend. She also wants to be cool like her friends who have tried it.
Tiwa’s cousin went on to advise her on what to do
Tiwa when it comes to love you don’t need sex to show it. If you have to take your relationship to the next level, you need to ask yourself if you are ready. With sex comes consequences. You can get pregnant. You can also contract a sexually transmitted disease.
If you and your partner feel like you need to take your relationship to the next level. You need to protect yourself. By protect yourself I mean make use of a condom. You also need to discuss what to do if you get pregnant.
I will advise you come by my clinic (he should come with you too) so we can talk about your options and getting you on birth control. If you feel shy to come to my clinic, find another health center that can assist you.
If you however feel like all I have said isn’t something you are ready for then maybe you are not ready for the next level. That is absolutely fine. You are young. You still have the time to get ready in future.
Although I felt relieved about talking to my cousin but I was a bit scared on how to tell my boyfriend to allow us follow my cousin’s advise.
I told my cousin about my concerns.
She said:
.
Tiwa don’t allow your boyfriend pressure you. It is really your decision to make. If you don’t feel ready and he continues to pressures you, maybe he’s just not the right guy for you. Someone who loves you will respect your decisions. And remember if he forces you to do anything you don’t want to report him immediately to me or your mum.
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you really be careful about relationships especially when you're not ready for it nd also because it is the right thing to do to avoid the concequences of taking the wring decision.
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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OKAY
YES
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
Big sister I really lyk d way u re-arranged d site now I can vote,tanx very much,luv u
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey Pretty_val_32! We are really glad you like the way the site was rearranged. Love you too dear.
big sister , my girl friend is muslim , why am christian, and we are about to marry but she ask me to change to muslim but i don't what to change my christian life, pls wat can i do?
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey THA! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision for you to make. Religion is a choice and should not be imposed on anyone so you should make up your mind on what you want to do. We hope this helps
Hi..You're the guy and also the head. You shouldn't leave your faith because of something which you may likely regret.so stick to your faith or find another.there are thousands of girls out there that are the same faith with you.
Hello tha i am muslim what i will tolds you is that when you love so you will decide your decision to change
i have feelings 4 a boy in my class and i know he also do the same but i don't know how to tell him how i feel
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey PRECIOUS! Thanks for the comment. You need to be sure of how you really feel about this guy. Love is deep and you also need to be sure that he loves you too. It may be a crush and that is very different from love. We hope this helps
why If I want to have a sex with girl I will relize within a second what is de problem
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey cekwaa! Thanks for opening up through this comment. This is called premature ejaculation and it can be due to a lot of things. It can either be because of over-excitement and when you are thinking too much about it. However, you need to still talk to a trusted adult and also see a doctor because it could be more than just this. If you must have sex, please always use a condom to stay safe. This is very important. We hope this helps
I like this guy his name is darling but his brother lyks me what do I do
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey Iam1234! Thanks for the comment. We have replied this comment already. Please go to the other comment where you dropped it. Thanks
But how do I know he loves me
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey Love2004! Thanks for the comment. We have written an article about this. Please search for the story "Does he like me?" at the top or bottom of the page. We know that you will get the answer you seek there. We hope this helps
IS IT RIGHT FOR UR BOYFRIEND TO KISS U
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey RINA! This is a personal decision and it is totally up to you to make. However, you need to be sure that you are not under any form of pressure to do this. Make sure that you are ready for it and not that your boyfriend wants it. We hope this helps
I wot 2hv a_boy ask my friend but people we tk other wise
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Pls springster we don't understand wat u wrote pls rewrite it thank u
Hey Big Sister, I Have A Female Friend Who Is Always Pushing Me To Have #Sex With Her, Infact Most At Times She Kisses Me & Tried To Seduce Me, But Unfortunately One Or Two Things Will Go Wrong So We Could not Have #sex,though I Know Waiting Is Best For Me, How Can I Tell My Friend NO
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Henry! Thanks for the comment. There is really no other way to say No than to actually say NO. No means NO! No one should force you to have sex with them when you are not ready for it. This girl needs to know because keeping quiet can mean that you like what she does and you know this is not true. So, the earlier you say NO, the better. Also, please note that saying NO to a girl does not mean that you are a weakling or not man enough, it actually means that you are mature enough to know what you want and stick to it. We hope this helps
Thanks, big sis...., i learnt a lot, even if we havnt' met physically you still remain one of my favourite mentor
Hey big sis thou my comment may be a bit out of the post but I need help Am in school currently on my SSCE I have two girl who want me Really I want to remain friends with them but they want it intimate. One of them has a bf as I know but she doesn't like him and hasn't told the guy yet but I have tried to tell her to open up and tell him. The other wants us to be intimate but I just don't want it bcos I don't want something silly to happen nd she is misunderstanding the whole thing thinking am avoiding her 100% but I don't which other way to let go. I need your help
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Best2Friends! Thanks for the comment. The facy is that you are not ready to move from being friends with these girls so do not let them pressure you to be in a relationship with them. A lot of guys are usually pressured but do not let this affect you. Take your time and let them know that you are not ready (Yes, this does not make you weak, instead, it means you know what you want for yourself). The one that is a relationship should focus on her relationship and stick to her boyfriend and the other one seems like she wants just intimacy and nothing else. So you see why you need to take your time to know what you want for yourself? Please, do not be in a hurry okay? We hope this helps
hello big sis i'm 15 i've a boyfrnd who claims he loves me so much, and would wait until am ready to have sex but yet he always make mention of sex wenever we chat...and dis annoys me, pls wat should i do? should i leave him?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Prexy! Thanks for the comment. The first and most important question we will ask is that "Do you even love this boyfriend?" You need to take your time to answer this question and be very honest with yourself too. When you answer this question, you will know what to do. You can tell him that you do not like it when he talks about it. See Prexy, relationships have to do with maturity and you really have to be mature to have a successful relationship. Also, note that communication is very important in a relationship so talk it out with him. We hope this helps
Hi big sis! What really makes a lady tells her boyfriend that it is the first day she can't make a love with him. Is the first day and the second meeting are they not same day? Pls throw more light on it;
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey TernaAkange! This is a personal decision and everyone has a reason for what they choose to do. Also for boys, why will you want to make love to someone the first or second time you meet them? That is being too forward and also very risky because you know nothing about this person, what they like or even what they carry in their bodies. See, sex SHOULD NEVER be the reason why you date a girl and if you have that mindset, you have to drop it immediately. If you cannot connect on another level that is not sexual, then you are not mature enough to go into the relationship. We hope this helps
there is dis boy, i love him but we have not spoken to each other once but we liv in d same community, he purpose his feeling to me on facebook, although he ask me to meet he, i refuse because i can't stand looking at him, am always speechless, athough i gave him my num through facebook, ond day he called me my mom ask d call, he called me the next day , i told him not to me dat my mom chat at me d day he call, he promise me dat he will not call again, and he also said he we never disobz me. is dat a sign of love
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey lovelove! Thanks for the comment. No, this is not love. This is a crush. You cannot love someone you do not know personally. You have to know the person at their worst and also at their best and then choose to still be with them. You do not know this guy well enough to say that you love him neither does he know you well enough to say that he loves you. Please do not mix things up. This is a crush and not love. We hope this helps
Hy am new here
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Big sis,my boyfriend wants me to have sex with him,but i told him am nt ready not till my wedding night,i was shocked when he told me dat my future husband will not appreciate me and would think am a fool to have kept my virginity for me.he also said that this is d right moment for me to get disvirgined otherwise it will b painful for me in the future.ARE THEY TRUE?Am confused.i need to be enlightened
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey commie! Thanks for the comment. HE IS LYING!!! Please do not believe him as he is looking for ways to sleep with you. Your virginity is your decision and you should choose what you want to do with it. First time sex is painful for everyone at every time so there is no need for you to rush and have it now because it will still be painful. Please, you need to leave this guy because he is manipulating you in every way just to have sex with you. We are sure that once he gets it, he will leave you and move on to another woman. You deserve more than this please. We hope this helps
Thanks a lot for the reply ma.i will do just that
Give it to him
If he really loves you, he wouldn't say that and he'll respect your decisions. You need to stay away from him.
you I feel sometime asexually hormone and am not ready to sex any girl because am not used to sexual pressure
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
hi big sis I will be 23 yr old I have a girl am talking to meet on whatsapp but I always do d calling she never call me I like all her pix I saw. I intentionally don't call her for days and she did call me what can I do about her
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey Jaypapa95! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision and it is actually up to you to make. Think about this properly and make up your mind on what you want to do. We hope this helps
hello big sis....as much as I don't like and want to say this,I have been sexually assaulted a lot by my older cousin at a very young age of four,five, and my early sixth year. I haven't told anybody about it even till now... I am seventeen.. the guy came to my house to greet my father..he acted nice and even told me that I've grown a lot..he thought I had forgotten all that he use to do to me...I want to keep myself till my wedding night but I hate the fact that I'm a not a virgin...I cry a lot when I remember it..its such a sad experience and I hate myself...what should I do?
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about what you went through and the fact that his presence is bringing bad memories. First of all, you are not at fault for what happened so you should not hate yourself. It is really painful and sad but you really should not hate yourself. What you need to do is to talk to a trusted adult about this. We know it may seem hard but doing this will really help you let things go. You also need to be careful around him so that he does not try to take advantage of you again. Also, there is an organization called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything.
i am 18y and a pastor is asking my hand in marriage
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey lifted! Thanks for the comment. Please do not allow anyone to pressure you into marriage. Marriage is a huge deal and you have to be very ready mentally, emotionally and in every way to get married. Please talk to a trusted adult for guidance. We hope this helps
i am 18y and a pastor is asking my hand in marriage
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Big sis i really need your help. am 18y and a pastor of 21y is asking for my hand in marriage what do i do because am confused
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. We have replied your comment already below. We advise that you read the comment. To add to the previous comment, please note that age is not a requirement for marriage. There are certain basic things that need to be on check. Do you know him? Do you like him? Does he know you and is he willing to make this work? Have you achieved all the things you want to before getting married. Age does not make you mature. Does he qualify for a partner? Please answer these questions and know what you want for yourself before you even think of getting married. We hope this helps
girl I advice you say if you never dey ready then no marry and beside marriage no be by force only marry when you dey ready to marry.
Please Big Sister, I am 20yrs old and I am a virgin but I always find my self watching porn which I no is very bad and I find it hard to stop it. What should I do?
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Nachi let be frank with you....u have a big pyscological problem there,watching porn may look normal than sleeping with a guy but it would affect ur affection for a man or a boy in the future coz all u'll be thinking is me just masturbate and be alright......and u might always find it hard to identify a good n right guy for when you are under this masturbation captivity!!
Hey Nachi! Thanks for the comment. Stopping this habit/addiction is something you need to makeup your mind to do. Now that you have done this, what you need to do is to get rid of every porn material you have; delete the videos on your devices and block the links in your browser. This is the first step. Also, you need to get yourself occupied. The time you used to give to porn should be given to something you have interest in so that you do not go back to it or get tempted out of boredom. Finally, this requires a lot of discipline and so you have to discipline yourself to do this. We hope this helps
Its so funny how people are so soft these days(they bring out their private life on social media)....we have different faces with different life training experiences,different reciepie that creates our different destinies.For Kastro el Parfficciano foreign(white) girls are too cool coz they ain't hypocrites and they are cool with u just the way u are
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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dey must have dier reasons
u know problem shared is problem half solved
who are you self? Are you a racist
I love it
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
i have a boyfriend, the boy love me and he usually says he will marry me in future but am not interested in it. what i can i do? please enlight me
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
i have a boyfriend, the boy love me and he usually says he will marry me in future but am not interested in it. what can i do? please enlight me
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Hi @shine if you don't plan on marrying him then why are u dating him, just make sure you tell him ur not ready or planning to get married to him. Data d right thing to do
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
My sister would say d same thing. She should follow her cousin's advise n not give in to her boyfriend.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
I think she should follow her cousin.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Hello friends it's still me @jbaby005- oooo,I changed my username to @Dashy,cause am no longer able to log in with my formal account, so I decided to sign up again, I missed u all dearly, I have been trying to come online before but no way.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Dashy, really missed u wlc back. Even Cutie changed her name to GATI
Hi gemini
hi dashy it me ,besty,i really miss you ,welcome back.hey gemini and you too fron paris to gemini
Hey big sis, there's this guy I met online on Facebook. I've not seen him before cos he stays in a place farther than mine. But recently he told me he has a crush on me and I have a crush on him too and the guy wants us to date. I don't want it to turn out to be he's playing a prank on me. But I'm sure crush and love are different things right..what do I do?
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey RhiRhi33! Thanks for the comment. You need to know that it is not safe to date someone you meet online because what they tell you can be a lie on it's own. We never advise anyone to date people they meet online because it is not safe at all. Another thing you need to know is that you should never date anyone based on a crush because if you do, you will get crushed. Online relationships are hard and when it is a long distance online relationship, it is harder. You need to take your time to think about this and do not be in a hurry to get into a relationship. We hope this helps
hi guys, I have a boyfriend we love each other but we argue alot when his away(sometimes it's because we miss each other) although my mum doesn't like him she said am too young to have a boyfriend, but when am with him I feel so comfortable, the problem is that he said we should have sex. I also want to but am scared what if he lives me after the sex.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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As a good friend i will advice u not to do it cos u dnt know d outcome,many dangerous tins can happen.
Hey Judyt! Thanks for the comment. It is normal for people to have misunderstandings, this is part of life. However, we advise that you shouldn't allow anyone to pressure you into having sex because sex is a decision you have to make on your own and be sure that you are ready for whatever comes with it. These could include; unwanted pregnancy, STDs/STIs or even HIV. You need to think about it properly and not just because your boyfriend wants to have sex. You also need a trusted adult to guide you on this too. We hope this helps
thanks
I think girls should be watchfull because of some adult who like taking advantage of younger ones
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Yeah
In the first place boyfriends are of no use to me..........and i'm not attracted to boys.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hmmmnn nice!!!
When you are not gay. Why would you not like boys
Hey Mjay! It is not compulsory to be attracted to guys. @Blinky said she is not attracted to boys and no one should question that. She has her reasons for this and we all should respect it. We hope this helps
yes are not attracted to boys
Blinky,nice one!!!
As for me,I'm attracted to boys but I don't I need them now.I have male friends though,and that's enough for me.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
I am boys bestie
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Currently am not allowed to have a boyfriend although I know of some girls who involve in a secret relationship,I want ask if it right for u to have a boyfriend at d age of 15(with no sex involve)?
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Yea .im fifteen and I've had many boyfriends in the past without having sex with them.as long as you have self control and you trust your boyfriend then you can have one
u don't need one yet get your priorities right
Someone once told me that love Does not exist that they are all infatuation and obssesion
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
currently am 18 but am not allowed to av a boyfriend... to avoid stories that touches the hrt
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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then u focus on ur future
Am in love with a guy should i tell the guy, pls i need help
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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I don't think you should... it will only reduce the respect he has for u and if he doesn't love you too he might tell his friends and they will make fun of you. it happened to my friend
Hi guys theres this cute guy that asked me out n i didnt give him astraight reply n latter he said he wanted to kiss me.....actually d day we met he told me to kiss him n i was like no dear i cant do that n have not done dat before,but my problem here is we are not dating but he keeps on telling his friends am his girlfriend.....big sis i need help here
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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2me i dnt tink d guy lyk u...nd it is d way u put urself dat is d way he will take u,
Dnt let him say or do tinx 2u dat u will end up doing tinx u are nt sure u really want it
he doesn't deserve u.just tell him
I dnt av...nd most tinx i go through i always face it myself
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.