Dear Big Sister: I’m confused about my future

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Dear Big Sister: I’m confused about my future

Dear Big Sister,

Up until last month, I was the lead singer in my neighbourhood youth choir. I loved it so much. Everyone said I was going places. I really thought I’d fulfill my dream of becoming a musician.

Then my uncle said no decent girl should be a musician. I felt bad. I didn’t want a career nobody respects. So I quit the choir and decided to become a lawyer instead. They looked very smart in their white wigs and elegant gowns.

One day, I read a top lawyer’s interview online. She said it takes many years to study law. I knew I wasn’t cut out for that. So I changed my mind again. This time, I decided to be a dog trainer since I like dogs. When I told my uncle, he laughed and laughed. He said there are no dog trainers in Nigeria. I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

I just want to be somebody in the future, Big Sister. But I’ve run out of ideas. Please help me before I do something crazy.

With thanks,

Dearest Leila,

As a teenager, I wasn’t sure about what to be in the future—just like you. As if that wasn’t enough, I didn’t have anyone to talk to. Because of that, I decided that when I grew up, I’d help young girls so they wouldn’t go through the same thing as me.

When I told people what I wanted to do, they didn’t get it at all. They said it wasn’t a real job. But I didn’t let them stop me. And now here I am today!

You see, there’s nothing wrong with being a little confused about your future. It happens to all of us. Go easy on yourself, girl.

Thing is, building a great career can be hard. But when you love what you do, you’ll be so happy and content it won’t feel like hard work. Since you love singing, I’m happy to tell you there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a musician. Being “decent” isn’t about what you do for a living or how you dress. It’s about how you treat others and carry yourself. Female musicians like Simi, Asa and Omawumi are killing it out there.

And they are role models for tons of people. So don’t let anyone or anything hold you back from following your heart.

Always remember, your life belongs to you alone. You should do what you want to do, not what people want you to do. In any case, you can’t please everyone—apart from yourself. So you do you.

Oh, and by the way, there are dog trainers in Nigeria. Your uncle has some catching up to do.

Hope this helps!

Big Sister

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