When friends fight

Learning that it is ok to be different

Your thoughts (15)

Adaobi and I have been friends since we were 6. Since the day her family moved to our compound, we have been like 5 and 6. We go everywhere together. People call us ‘the twins’. In fact, I’m closer to her than my own sister.

Then one day, we had a huge fight.

There’s one thing about Adaobi that has always annoyed me. She just doesn’t know how to keep to time. She makes us late for everything. Especially for dance rehearsal. And I hate to be late for that.

I talked to her about it so many times. But she just doesn’t listen. Then a few weeks ago, we were late for rehearsal. Again. This time, we got into trouble. Our dance teacher shouted at us and put us on probation. I was so upset.

I screamed at her. I kept asking why it is so hard for her to just be on time. She got really upset. She said I should stop trying to change her. That if I was her friend, I would just accept that’s how she is. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t even sorry she got me put on probation. That’s the day we stopped talking.

After a few days, my mum noticed that Adaobi hadn’t been coming to our house. She asked me about it and I told her the whole story. She gave me some really interesting advice:

‘You can’t throw away a friendship just because you had a fight with someone. Especially after you’ve been friends for so long. You and Adaobi are different. You have your own personalities, you don’t think and act exactly the same. Sometimes that will cause problems. But that’s normal. And it’s ok. You just have to be mature enough to deal with it properly. The first thing is not to shout at each other. Even if you’re very angry. You wait until you calm down, then the two of you sit down and talk. Respect is very important in a friendship. When you talk, ask her what it is that takes her time. Is it chores at home? See if you can help her out. She will appreciate it. Or maybe you try to get to her house 30 minutes earlier than you usually do. That way you can get her to start getting ready to leave earlier than normal. You could also try explaining why being early to dance lesson is important to you, she may not have thought about it the same way. It’s better you try to find ways to help her than fighting with her.’

I tried out what my mum said. I noticed it helped Adaobi become more conscious of time. Thanks to my mum’s advice I have learnt how to better manage our differences.

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Your thoughts

My friend like keeping and hanging out with bad guys and after trying to advice her on that, she stopped talking to me

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

True

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

You did de right tin

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

really helpful...

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

it's great

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Seriously big sis I had a friend that she loves to enjoy life and not that I don't but not too much so we had a fight and she told me that I am not fit to be her friend and am just too weak please what can I do

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Anastasia! Thanks for the comment. You didn't state what caused your quarrel but there is nothing wrong with her enjoying her life. It seems like you went over board and if you did, you should apologize to her and then leave her to enjoy her life. It is up to her to choose if she wants you back in her life. We hope this helps

big sis resentenly many guys have being asking me out but I don't like any of dem I am so confused ...i don't no what to do..... n I am kind of afraid to turn den down

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey beautifulgold! Thanks for the comment. If you do not like any of them, then you should not be afraid or confused. Tell them that you are not interested in being in a relationship. It is better to be single than to be in a relationship with someone you do not like. You should also talk to a trusted adult for more guidance. We hope this helps

I and my fought because of story book which made her lock my cloth i have not talked to her since the we fought

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Is a story book worth losing your friendship? You need to weight the option and be sure that what is making you both not talk is actually worth it. Yes, friends fight all the time but is the fight really worth it? We don't think so. Someone needs to break the silence and be mature enough to speak up. If you both value your friendship, you won't allow this to cause a strain. We hope this helps

My friend is fighting with me she no longer talk to me as before again... And hi asked her what have done but she keeps on telling me I did not offend her...

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

My friend is fighting with me she no longer talk to me as before again... And I asked her what have done but she keeps on telling me I did not offend her...

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

I and my bestie fought bcus she wrote love letter to my classmate and she Had gone away frm dat school so pple were blaming me bcus she wrote my name in d letter.She wrote my name bcus she wanted me to give d letter to dat guy but I warned her and told her not to give it to him but she did my teacher later caught her and was highly dissapointed in both of us especially me bcus he thought I was into sending love letters too and I wasn't,so Since den I did not talk with her again.But now We are communicating again so I thank God for settling our misunderstanding.

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Big sis we nd my classmate had a misunderstanding in sch becux we advice her cux she was a prostitute at the xame tym going 2 skul,so we tried telling her dat there's tym 4 everything nd she's no longer a virgin dat if she gets married 2 her husband wen she's old enough her husband wo'nt respect her.She said her husband wo'nt know if she's a virgin or not.Frm dat day she had'nt be talking 2 us.Big sis I wanted 2 ask u if wat we did was wrong by telling her those things nd will her husband truely know if she's a virgin or not when she's married ?

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.