I think my mum hates me

Idide opens up to us

Your thoughts (27)

As a little girl, everyone said I looked like my mum. They said I had her gap-tooth and her dark skin. That we moved and sounded alike. It made my mum so happy. She used to call me her ‘twinny’. But everything changed when I turned 15.

My mum became mad at me all the time. She stopped laughing and gisting with me. Nothing I did was good enough. If I washed the dishes, she’d find a leftover stain. If I tidied the house, she’d fish out a spot I’d missed. Life became very hard. I often cried myself to sleep.

Then my mum stopped me from hanging out with my friends. She said they were no good for me. I tried to tell her they were cool. But she yelled and yelled.

Soon my friends stopped coming over. I no longer returned their visits and messages. So they moved on without me. I had no one to talk to anymore. Not even my own mum. I felt so lonely.

One weekend, my mum’s best friend Aunty Queenie came to visit. I’d always liked her because she was nice. When my mum stepped out to get something, Aunty Queenie asked me if I was okay. I nodded at first. I didn’t want anything to reach my mum’s ears. But there was something about Aunty Queenie’s eyes that said I could trust her. So I told her everything.

Aunty Queenie told me to cheer up. She explained that my mum was going through a lot. Her salary hadn’t been paid for months. To make things worse, our landlord was threatening to throw us out.
Aunty Queenie assured me that my mum still loved me very much. That I was growing up so fast, and my mum just didn’t know how to cope. She begged me to give my mum another chance. I agreed.


I started doing my chores more diligently. Over time, my mum stopped complaining. Instead, she started praising me for being hard-working. She even allowed me to plait her hair when I asked – just like I did as a little girl.

Bit by bit, we started talking again. She confessed that she thought I’d abandoned her for my friends. I apologised for making her feel bad. I told her no one would ever take her place in my life. Then she hugged me and apologised too.

Now, things have picked up for my mum. They’ve paid her salary and our landlord has stopped bugging her. As for me, my friends are back in my life, which isn’t bad at all. However, when I’m in trouble, I go straight to my mum. She’ll always be my ‘twinny’ no matter what.

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Your thoughts

wow my mom is my twinny too

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

My mum nd i dont get along nd she complain about me nd compares me with my sister what shuld i do

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Ebullient! Thanks for the comment. Your story is similar to Idide's in the article and we advise you to talk to your mum about it. If you feel like you cannot open up to her, you can write a letter instead and send to her or you can tell a trusted adult that your mum trusts about it. Keeping quiet will not help you because your mum will never know about it. We hope this helps

my mum brought me up in a strict way and I'm always scared of telling her my problems

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Candy! Thanks for the comment. You should not compare your mum of that time to now. You are grown up now so we suggest you try to talk to your mum. Start by telling her basic things about friends so that you can see how she reacts. We hope this helps

African mum are sometimes weird but little by little you will release they love you....

yeah my listeners it use to be

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

My Mum Has Always Be The Best I Av Bt Can Act Mean At Times Wic Usualy Go Me Weak Of Teln Her Wat I Hav In Mind

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

I can't talk to my mum even about my period like she is impossible i don't think i can ever be close to her.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

family

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Wow!! Beautiful story there....... Nice one

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

A lesson for kids to learn

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

A lesson for kids to learn

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

That's a great story but also a lesson...

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Why do moms stop their teenage children from mixing with people

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Honeydrops! Thanks for the comment. Moms stop their teenage children from mixing with people because they feel this is the best way to protect them. Trust me, this is not done out of hatred but rather, they feel like they are trying to harm you or trying to be mean, it is just out of love. We hope you understand that your mom means well and she loves you very much. We hope this helps

I dont get along with my mum again We used to be close but everything changed when i entered the university She believes am useless and worthless She hates me

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Vv! Thanks for the comment. Your mum does not hate you. She probably feels detached from you and you can't blame her. She feels like you have grown too fast and it is normal. Try to get talk to her and get to know her better. She does not believe that you are useless and worthless okay? We hope this helps

Mums' will always protect their children even if they have to seem mean and inconsiderate in the process. This doubles if it's a girl. Remember; 'She was a girl once and knows best'.

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Big sis, i dont get along with my mom she is too strick, nd am always scared of her, what should i do?

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Your mum does not hate you. Have you tried to let her know how you feel. If she doesn't know how you feel, she won't be able to know how to treat you. You can also talk to a trusted adult that has a good relationship with your mum to help talk to your mum. We hope this helps

Big sis i dont get along with my mom because my mom is hard to study

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Grace! Thanks for the comment. The truth is that no one is easy to study. What you need is to be patient with them and also let them know that you are willing to put in the work. The first thing you need to know is that your mum does not hate you. We hope this helps

Big sis, I don't really get along well with my mom but all of a sudden she's nicer to me we communicate like friends. I don't know if it's because I just entered the university

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey 95ayzh! Thanks for the comment. It is abig good thing that you and your mum now get along. You really shouldn't be worried about why she is suddenly nicer to you, you should be happy and get comfortable with this. We don't think this should be something for you to worry about at all. We hope this helps

No my mom is a total pest

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Hey big sis , I have decided to stop getting along with my mum because she doesn't keep secrets , judges and talks me down with abusive words more than she advises or encourages , and she always brings up the past purposely to weigh me down . Big sis I am currently emotionally and psychologically scattered. She often says she doesn't care whether or not share our feelings with her . Please help me Big sis. Thank you.

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.