Girls and boys don’t have to date
At first I didn’t have time for Stanley. He was so quiet. People said he was a snob.
But then we got talking at my friend’s house. Stanley and his brother were sitting with us in the parlour. They were gisting about a comic book. You should have seen their faces when I said I’d read it. They didn’t know any girl who liked comic books. Stanley looked impressed. My head was swelling.
Stanley and I started swapping comic books. We liked the same characters. We laughed at the same things. We had so much in common. He couldn’t stand peppery food. Just like me. He was scared of dogs. Just like me. Over time, I found out he wasn’t a snob at all. He was just shy.
We started confiding in each other. I was the first to know he wanted to be a painter. He showed me some of his sketches. They were really nice. I told him that I wanted to learn how to play table tennis. That evening, he started teaching me in our community centre. When our friends saw us, they started teasing us. They called us husband and wife. They called Stanley ‘woman wrapper’.
I was embarrassed. I felt as if I was doing something bad. But Stanley laughed and said, “We’re just friends.”
To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to be his friend. I didn’t want anyone to gossip about me. But I didn’t want to lose him either. I was sad and confused.
Back home, I opened up to my aunty. She told me not to worry about what people say. She said Stanley was a good guy, so I shouldn’t stop being his friend. I felt much better.
Now Stanley is my bestie. We tell each other everything. We help each other when we’re in need. Even when we’re apart, we always stay in touch. He’s the brother I never had.
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Hving a boy as ur bestfwend iz not bad at all
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Are guys also involved in this programme ?????? I thought it was for girls alone
I luv this article...i have boys dat are my bestie they are best to keep as friendz to me. they are understanding and they undastands.
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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I'm a boy.... I'm blushing...
lolz...
Hello,am new here,please,I have girlfriend 4 Like 3months now the likeness is now going deep.Please,help me.what can I do?
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hi teewest. taking d nxt step its ur decision.
I wonder what you had for her before you made her your girlfriend....😏
Hello TeeWest, thanks for sharing your feelings with us. True love is great and we think there is no problem with how you feel. If you feel you are still too young to start thinking about marriage or more responsibility then just continue talking and being with each other like you always have. Always tell her how you feel, so you can know how she feels too. Let the love continue to deepen, there is nothing wrong with that. If you ever feel ready to move on to the next step, then discuss it with her and decide together. We hope this helps.
My mom takes dating as a crime or adultery what should I do
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hello Jeffy! Thanks for your comment. The funny thing about dating is that one day we all get more freedom to date that we may even get a bit tired of it. We know it is hard to like someone but not be able to date them but we advise you to wait if your mum does not like it. If you live with her now it is very hard work to lie and sneaking around to date someone. If you already like someone, can you just be friends fr now? Slowly introduce the person to your mum if you can. When you think she is more comfortable with this person then you can try talking to your mum about how you like the person and if she can give you permission to date. Maybe if she knows the person and trusts that the two of you will be safe and keep doing the right thing then she may agree. Just be careful and look for the right time to talk to her. You can also talk to a trusted adult who can help you talk to her. We hope this helps.
Good everning big sister, pls i have a crush with one of my school boy and we don't talk in school we only chat on fb and i don't want to have a date at school but anytime i dont see him in school i feel resless and i can't sleep without thinking of him pls help me, what should i do about?
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Dtz normal,u cn start talkin 2 each other,4rm dy u guys cn bcm gud frds.u cnt say u dnt wan 2 date in skul so fa u r hvin felin 4 him,n he z ur skul mate ur decision of" i dnt wan 2 date in skul" cn change.d only tin u shd tink abt it nw is if he z hv d xame felin towards u
Thankx dear, But hw will i knw his having feelings for me 2??
Hello Angel! We understand how this feels, school crushes can be very big. This is a normal feeling. You don't need to rush into anything now. He is your schoolmate so you can see him almost everyday. Try to talk to him when you get a chance. Get to know him better. Sometimes, when you get to know him better you will find that you do not like him anymore. Or sometimes you may like him more. Find out which one it is first. Then you can start thinking of next steps like asking him if he likes you back. We hope this helps.
Thanks 4 answering my questions
R guys also involved in this programme????? I taught it's 4 gals alone since Itx springster
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Is not bad but is hardly to stop falling for them. Even me i hav boys that are my besties
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
he was my bestie at first but he has started asking me for dating. any advice for me?
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
But sometimes i do fall for them
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
we were friends at first, but he started asking me to date him..
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Yes I do...I have a male bestie...he's caring n undastanding too
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
yes i have a male friend but we don't talk all the time.....
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
I av a huge crush on dis guy is it bad
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey TINA! There is nothing wrong with having a crush. It is very normal. We have all had a crush on someone at some point in our lives. It is a feeling and humans have feelings so don't think it is a bad thing okay? We hope this helps
I wonder why we don get ans 2 me & LOVE questions so unfair :(
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
BIG SIS I HAVE A CRUSH ON THREE GUYS NID HELP
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Wat can i do to hav boy besties without him misunderstanding me to be crushing. i really need one!
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey Splendor! The secret is for you not to force it. Just let the friendship flow naturally okay. If you force it, it won't work. We hope this helps
Yeah! i a'v a bestie lyk urs.coz dats lyf, at times dating is trouble.
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
yer that is life
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
am new here,am i welcome
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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u are welcome loveth
Yup gurl! #XXX
Mahmoud...#LinkUp with me Triple_X. I need a friend in here. #XXX
jst read of whre u need help and coment ur doubt 2 find help
Am new here,i need a friend in here
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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YOU CAN CHOOSE ME LIZZY NICE TO MEET U. YOU ARE WELLCOME HOPE YOU LIKE THE ARTICLE
Hey Please I Need Your Help, If A Girl Of 8 Yrs Have Sex With A Boy Of 9 Yrs Old After That She Is Not Doing It Again She s Now 19 Yrs Old Is She Still A Virgin ?
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey Chumy5! If penetration occured, it is possible that she is no longer a virgin. We hope this helps
Why Is It That If I Comment You People Will Not Reply
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Why Is It That If I Comment You People Will Not Reply
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
BIG sis i was raped at a tender age but since i started menstrating i av nat had sex yet .can i still b a virgin .help m
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey GOLD! Thanks for opening up through this comment. We are so sorry about what you went through. Unfortunately, menstruation does not make one a virgin again. We hope this helps
Yes,i love him but we fight alot,we were friends since 2014
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Big sis... Is it good to kiss? I have a friend, not actually my boyfriend. But I like him so much & he likes me too but we're not dating cos it's our decision not to date yet. And he wants to kiss me so badly and I want it too but I also want my first kiss to be my future husband. Pls help me. Shld I go ahead allow him kiss me or should I blow it off and give some excuses? Pls I need an advice
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision for you to make. We cannot tell you whether or not to kiss because it is totally up to you. Think about it properly and tell a trusted adult around you to guide your decisions. We hope this helps
Tat a gud 1
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Big sis.. I still can't get my ex boyfriend off my mind and I find it hard to love someone else.. Pls wats do I do???
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey Hearty! Always remember that he has moved on and if you do not also move on, you will be punishing yourself. Find a worthy distraction. Learn a skill, improve your hobby, hang out with friends, start a business, read a book.. do something that will make you think less of him. Make new friends, keep in touch with old friends. We hope this helps
Xumtyms is beta to stay alone dan to hav xum1 who will nt makes u feel appy
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Datz true
yea dats right
Of course we are Friend for the first time...But she ask me to be in part of her life forever... which call husband and wife forever.......
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Ya. I use to have a boy Bestie. His name was Kay. We became friends in a very funny way. We were just classmates and seat mates. We talked a lot together. We were always found together. And yes, people always teased. They called us husband and wife but none of us cared. As time went on, we broke up. We were worst enemies. But, somehow, we still got back together. We are just friends even till date. I see him more than a boyfriend. That's because is was and will always remain my crush.
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Jeez Dee..my story is exactly same with yours
Gud story
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Wow!dats nyc,i also have a friend that is a boy and we only read,talk,discussand share views only online.
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
I HAV NON BUT GUD STORY
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Am new here am i welcomed
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
What a 1daful story keep it up girl.i want every springsters to be please obey my command i am also a female
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
What a 1daful story keep it up girl.i want every springsters to be please obey my command i am also a female and a wonderful springster.
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
i av a girl friend dat i do lyk very mch bt she dnt want me 2 express my felling 2 her what should i do dat she will like as her friend
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Omg," i looking for my real soulmate.we gonna love together temmynifemmy my fb acct
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
i also have a male bestie bt de gossip nd lies abt him datin me is too much. i was even tinking of quiting being frnds wit him sef
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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hi favy The fact dat u want 2 quit been his friend bcos of Wat pple re saying shows dat u re allowing oda pple 2 decide 4 u. Please don't end d friendship bcos u may later regret it later.
hello........ I'm 18 and i have a guy which we're jst friends.so now he said he is ready 2 marry me as his wife bt i told him i'm nt ready for any form of relationship so he asked me if i'm a virgin The qustion is;::; SHOULD I TELL HIM IF I'M A VIRGIN OR NOT Pls springster i really need your advice
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Oreoluwa am also 18 That guy actually wants to use you as an experiment My dear you aren't a Lab rat For a guy to ask you about sexual stuffs, marriage etc isn't after your welfare He's just after what he wants from you Say No to his friendship And for him asking you if you are a Virgin Don't answer him Keep Your being Virgin or not to yourself Or else you could get hurt
Hey OREOLUWA! Thanks for the comment. He has no business asking you if you are a virgin after you have told him you are not ready for a relationship. We do not advise that you tell him anything on this issue. Also, try to stay safe at all times. We hope this helps
Thanks big sis fir that reply
tanks
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
tanks
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
tanks i enjoy it
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
I have a male bestie too.. he's the best I could ever ask for.... he's a wonderful person... but I think we might end up dating... hope it wouldn't be a bad idea.. cos I tell people we're just friends which is true
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hi anny,it's not bad at all. some people get married to their bestie. I have a male bestie but we never dated because we were more than friends. we became siblings. hope this might help?
dat is gud but know dat all friendship end in marriage
Hey ANNYBENNY! It's not bad as long as you both are comfortable with it. Sometimes, it's not about what people say but about what you are comfortable and happy with. We hope this helps
Pls i have a female bestie and any time i see her i feel funny inside what should i do?
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey Blazing! Thanks for the comment. What kind of feeling are you talking about? Please explain better so that we can help you. We hope this helps
I feel something different that i can't concentrate
I think you like her
Yes u are in love with her.... Work on it and it will come out
Nw Listen Oreoluwa Neva Tell Any Body Ur Chaste Status If He Luvs U He Will Mari U Even If U Re A Runs Babe Before
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
We Have The Same Experience,but He Told Me We Should Be Eating Our finger.Pls Wat Is D Meaning Of Eating Our Fingers
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey Gift! Thanks for the comment. We do not know what eating of fingers mean. Maybe you should ask him because what we know is that when you eat your fingers, you are biting your nails or fingers as the case may be. We hope this helps
hmmm....I don't just feel and believe a girl and boy can just be besties and remain so without anything more....smiles that's just i feel though✌
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey cbaby! Everyone has a right to choose what they believe in and that's your belief but the fact is that boys and girls can be friends with no strings attached. We hope this helps
✌
my male bestie used to be my toaster but i said no to him.he then told me to be his bestie which i accepted.cos i hav no bestie...we have being besties lately..and he recently told me he still loves me.so i want to tell him to get out of my life.cos i hav no feelings for him..please big sis ,is it cool??
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey sophie! Thanks for the comment. You made your point and you told him off. However, you could have done it without being rude. Yes, you told him you didn't have feelings for him and you didn't lie to him but next time, you can politely turn him down. We hope this helps
😂😂
New friends around for me? 😉😉
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Yep, James🙋
My male bestie is my former boyfriend but now we re just friends though there was a time i was a crushing on him again but now i think we re fading apart cuz of our different religious views
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
Hi my name is favourgold i am 14 a guy in my class is fund of teasing me he makes me laugh and sm times angry bt he s vry jovial ever since i was new in dat school he teases me alot and since then i ve bun thinking of him is any wrong with me?
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey favourgold! Thanks for the comment. Nothing is wrong with you. You only have a crush on him and it is perfectly normal. Read the article: http://ng.gem.molo.unicore.io/sections/my-life/crush-vs-love-know-difference/ so that you will understand better. We hope this helps
wat if I ave a boyfriend and he z asking me if am a virgin,shud I ans his question
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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NO, why will he ask such a question? So, don't answer him.
Hey verna! Communication is very important in every relationship. If you cannot open up to tell your boyfriend something like this, then how do you want to structure your relationship? There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your boyfriend about this (Dricks9000 please take note too). If you are sure that you are mature enough to be in a relationship, then you should be free to open up about things like these. Telling him you are a virgin is not a free ticket to having sex. If you aren't ready for sex, you should tell him that you are a virgin but you are not ready to have sex yet. This way, you clear every confusion or guess work about this. We hope this helps
Big sis,d foundation my relationship is shaking due 2 d jealousness of my guy 2 other male friends i have,i need ur help
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey Phabbie! Thanks for the comment. You need to talk to your boyfriend about this. The fact that you are in a relationship does not mean that you should not have male friends. The trust issue is not your fault in any way. Your boyfriend needs to learn to trust you and also realize that girls and boys can be just friends too. You need to help him though by making him know that you love him and want him more than all the other boys out there. However, it is up to him to get over the jealousy and believe you. This is why we say relationships are for mature minds and it comes with huge responsibilities like these. We hope this helps
There's this close friend of mine,i try avoiding him atimes because of the way he looks at me,holding me when we are walking in public,he's just always there for me when there is no... I just get nervous anytime we are together
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey CONPHYAWG! Thanks for the comment. The moment you start feeling uncomfortable about someone's company, that is the time that you should cut off from the person. If you do not like the way he touches you or looks at you, you should let him know so that he doesn't start to feel like you are enjoying it. Also, tell a trusted adult about this. We hope this helps
I have a bestie who is a boy and I love him so much but dating my frnd.what should I do?
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey keshia7! You need to be really sure of your feelings towards him. Is it really love or could it be fondness? There is a difference. Figure this out first and it will help you. We hope this helps
I have a bestie who is a boy and I love him so much but dating my frnd.what should I do?
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Do you mean that he is dating your friend? If yes, there is nothing you can do. He is in a relationship and you should respect that. It doesn't matter if he is dating your friend or a total stranger, you just need to respect the fact that he is in a relationship. We hope this helps
I think having a boy as ur bestie has an advantage nd disadvantage Advantage in d sense of he will cover up for u he will keep ur secret safe etc Disadvantage in d sense of if d two of u r alone he will start developing feelings for u nd one thing can lead to another to me I rather keep my secret to my slf bcus a problem share is NW a topic for gossip
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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u get it twisted, a problem shared is nt a topic 2 gossip bt a problem shared is a problem solved. it just dat if d incident is fresh it may be a topic 2 gossip.
Yea i do av a guy bestie. He is cool and gentle but the problem is his girlfriend always supect him of dating me wat do i do big sisiter
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey Joebeauty! Thanks for the comment. This happens a lot. What you can do is to make her feel secure with you by being friends with her. Also, you should give them space when you are around them. Yes, he is your bestie but she is his girlfriend and it can cause issues between them and also affect your friendship if you are not cautious. There should be a boundary so that you can still remain friends. We hope this helps
that must be a 9c advice
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
Yes I have a bestie who is a boy and our relationship is amazing.
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
YEA I HV A BESTIC WHO IS A GIRL AND RELATIONSHIP IS ALWAYS FUN
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
Yes I have a bestie and he was my ex
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Even if you have a boy as ur bestie.people wont believe you guys are not dating
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Springster! You are very correct. Thanks for sharing this tip with us.
how can you have a boy as a friend without people gossiping?there's a boy in my school i'd like to get close to but my classmates will gossip.
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey heather! Thanks for the comment. As a teenager, one of the things you will see is with what people say and trust me, a lot of people will misinterpret a lot of things you do. This should not stop you from being the person you are. If you want to be friends with a guy, do not allow what others say or think to stop you. Let them know that you both are just friends and also tell them that boys and girls can be just friends. If they do not believe you, leave them to keep assuming because you cannot force people to change their minds. Live your life. We hope this helps
how can you have a boy as a friend without people gossiping?there's a boy in my school i'd like to get close to but my classmates will gossip.i hate school!
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey heather! You do not have to hate school because of what people will say. People will talk and it doesn't have to be just in school. It can be anywhere. The truth is that people will talk whether we like it or not but this should not stop or hinder you from making friends. Let them gossip... but don't let it get to you. We hope this helps
I have a gud friend who is a gel, we chat with each other, joke with each other and play 2geda. Buh my co-coliques' in d school always call me her husband,... Buh we are jst confide_frnd to each other.. In this kind of situation what can i do?,
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey OBAjnr! Thanks for the comment. There is really nothing much that you can do. Just tell your colleagues that you both are just friends. It is up to them to believe but you really cannot force them to believe you. We hope this helps
my bestie is a guy, we play together, share our challenges nd advice each other, he is really a nice guy i wish we could be besties 4ever
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Yes I have but my mother dosing no he is kind and wa were very close some people said that he is bad my sister what will i do
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
I have bt my grandparent never want us together thinking we are dating
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
big sis i am new here Hope am highly welcome
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
pls big sis can you try to explain the different between bestie and best friend .... Or are they the same?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey kizzygirl! Thanks for the comment. They are the same thing. Bestie is the short form of best friend. We hope this helps
big sis i am new here, pls I want to ask I had a girl bestie in my class but her female friends are disturbing whenever they us together, what can I do to handle this pls
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Minini! Welcome to Springster. This may be a bit difficult but you can start by getting another location outside the class to spend time with her. You can also tell her how you feel about the disturbance and make her understand how this makes you feel. We hope this helps
big sis why is it that if people sees someone with a boy they start thinking negative why is it that well.
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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dey ave corrupted minds
Big sis, i had a boy bestie but it turn up he was dating my elder sis, i ask him many tym whether he was in love with my sis, he will also say his "heart is strong" nd my sis was madly in lvu with him, nd i knew his intention towards ma sis, i had no other option than to unfriend him on fecabook nd call off de physical relationship i had with him. Have i done de right thing?
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey prescott! Thanks for the comment. Yes, you did the right thing. We are proud of you
Great prescott dat was brave
I have a male bestie buh the thing is he asked me out once and since I didn't want to lose him... I asked him to be my bestie... We're cool that way tho
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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The smart girl
nah but i feel like. cos dey r more trustworthy dan gals
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
hi guys am back if I have a bff as a boy I will love it,is not that a girl can't be your bff they can but I feel free when am with a boy or boys I behave myself and we talk about our experience when I was a kid I like seating in the mist of boys but when I do people will start saying that don't I know am a girl but now I no longer have a boy as a close friend any more the ones that are coming my way want us to start dating but am not ready yet I just want a boy as a bff,the reason I like staying with boys is that they don't judge me example my dad,I actually like to make a boy my bff(best friends forever).
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
I do not kn the words to use but one thing for sure is that is the best.
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
I have a besty at school we are always going home together nd nw my friends say we are dating
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
hi, am new here! A Lady muv up 2 me wit a glowing smiles all-ova ha face an greeted me, i responded. she asked me if she's beautiful . . . . ofcourse u're! i replied. then she continues, if she can be my g/friend {"dat she likes me"} in oda 2 avoid disappointing ha i accepted an even collected ha contact. . . . when i got home, i told my uncle wat-eva transpired b/w us. i asked him hw did he view dis kind of friend request ? bkos its only in movie nt in a physical reality. here's his reply > well, its nt a big deal! in europe is a normal tin bcoz they're civilized bt in naija especially the northern its rare! dat i should becareful so i don't jump in 2 somtin else. . . so, big sis pls any help ??? tnx!
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hello Trylife, Be careful when starting any relationship not just because she asked you. Some ladies are more forward than others but that does not make them bad. If you like people that speak their minds then maybe this lady will be right for you. We hope this helps.
The same thing with me,there is guy we use to go home together and also do homework,anytime my friends or other student call us husband and wife,and i don`t like it,then he will laugh and tell them that we are just friends.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
I have one boy bestie,people think we are dating.I don't know what to do,but after reading i think i know what to do.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
I have a boy bestie too. When we play in public, my friends tease us and call it love play. It's actually funny. But we're really just very good friends. We talk about almost everything and he's simply the best.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
yea, he loves comin 2 my ouse nd spendin tym wit me. My frnds always tease us nd do say we are dating but i dnt mind.
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
I am new here
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
Yea But when we spent time together people said nasty things like we were dating
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
So sweet
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.