What to do next
Dear Big Sister,
There is fire on the mountain! Some time ago, I slept with my boyfriend Chude. We didn’t use protection, but it was no big deal. We love and trust each other very much.
Then last month, I started feeling super tired every morning. I thought it was because of my chores. So I wasn’t bothered. Then my waist grew thicker and my breasts became tender. My aunty even teased me about my new shape.
But now my period has refused to come! At first, I wasn’t worried o. Sometimes it’s delayed by a day or two. Then three days passed, and…nothing! That’s when I knew trouble had come.
Big Sister, I think I’m pregnant! I don’t know what to do or who to talk to. I’ve thought of telling Chude, but it seems like a bad idea. There’s this health centre in my community sha. I want to go there and check, but I don’t want my gist to reach my aunty’s ears.
This isn’t the plan I had for my life. I’m only 16! Please help me. Big Sister! I’m losing my mind.
Let me start by saying you’re not alone. Many girls all over the world have been in this same situation. In the end, they emerged stronger, wiser, and better for it. And so will you.
An unplanned pregnancy can be tough. But when you know what to do next, things can be a bit easier.
First, you need to be 100% sure you’re pregnant. So you need to take a pregnancy test. It helps to have a trusted adult in your corner. They could take you to a clinic and support you through the whole process.
Your aunty sounds like a cool person. Maybe you should try confiding in her. You might just be surprised by her reaction. For all you know, she may have been in your shoes before. So she’ll have firsthand experience to guide you. Even if she gets disappointed she may also be willing to support you.
If you don’t feel like you can talk to your aunty, is there any other adult you can confide in? If there’s no one, you can get in touch with an organization called Education as a Vaccine. They run a helpline where you can find out about sex, pregnancy and other health issues. They are open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. Call them on 08027192781 and get the support you need. Please not you will be charged for calls and it’s completely confidential so you don’t need to share your name.
That being said, there’s someone you really need to talk to: Chude. It takes two people to make a baby. Pregnancy isn’t a girl’s/woman’s responsibility alone. If you happen to be pregnant, Chude has to take responsibility for his baby. It’s best to tell him what’s going on.
Before talking to him, practice what you’ll say. It’ll help boost your confidence. Try to be calm, but firm. Choose a time and a place where you’ll be very comfortable.
Next, you and Chude need to find a good clinic. Then visit together (along with a supportive adult if possible) and talk to a health professional. They’ll perform a pregnancy test on you. And if you’re pregnant, they’ll tell you how to take good care of yourself. Don’t you worry, okay? All will be well in the end. Remember if you don’t know of any clinic near you, you can speak to the people at Education as a Vaccine.
Remember, having unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDS). The surest way to avoid them is by not having sex. If you have any more questions, please talk to an experienced health professional.
Thanks for sharing your story, Susu. Here’s hoping you feel better already. I wish you all the best.
Lots of Love,
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