Read this before having sex

Chidinma tells all

Your thoughts (253)

I had sex for the first time when I was 15.

My boyfriend lived down the street. We met at our neighbourhood end of year party. After we dated for three months, he asked me to have sex with him. I knew I wasn’t ready, but I wanted to please him. I wanted to prove I was a “big girl.” So I agreed and we did it.

Afterwards, he grew distant. When I asked if we could meet up, he made up all kinds of excuses. He stopped replying my texts, answering my calls. My bestie said he had “ghosted” me. “Ghosting” is when someone you’re dating cuts you off with no explanation. I couldn’t believe it. I felt used.

I tried to remember why I slept with him. I thought about how it made me feel. I felt as if I’d lost control of my own body. I was filled with regret. I needed to talk to someone older before things got worse.

One day, I opened up to my big sister. I told her everything. It wasn’t easy, but I trusted her completely. I knew my secret was safe with her.

She helped me realise that having sex at a young age comes with risks. It brings on so many emotions: fear, guilt, regret, anger and anxiety. She assured me that my feelings were completely normal, so I shouldn’t be too hard on myself.

Next, I had to forgive myself. Yes, it sounds dramatic. But it was worth it. I accepted that I hadn’t done anything wrong, that it wasn’t my fault.

If I could do it all over again, I’d make sure I’m absolutely ready before having sex. First, my partner and I would have a heart-to-heart talk so we’d be on the same page. I wouldn’t do anything I’m not comfortable with. Most importantly, I’d never do something just to please someone else.

Sex. One word, a thousand questions. When to do it, when not to do it. Thing is, there are no easy answers. However, if you choose to have sex early, there are certain things you should know. So we’re glad Chidinma shared her story with us.

Want to read more inspiring stories like this one? Then head to our Springster Facebook page and connect with a community of girls just like you! - https://www.facebook.com/heyspringster

Share your feedback

Your thoughts

Tjay

Hey big sis, how can I share my story? I need to talk to someone

July 2, 2022, 6:56 p.m.

Latest Reply
Mujahid

Share it here

Gracy

Wait didn't u get pregnant

April 29, 2022, 1 p.m.

Latest Reply
Mujahid

Of course she didnt

This is a really nice story.. Thank God that chidinma shared her story....pls share your story on the comments too... So that we can help..

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I think this story will definitely help me bcos in a I'm going for my community party too so I'll definitely keep this article in mind

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! This article was written because of you and we are glad you love it. Feel free to share it with your friends

I once experienced such

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I also experienced such

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

i learn a good thing

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I learn a good thing from the story.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Big sis I need an answer,This always happen when a guy u love touch u, u will not be able to control urself like when u are kissing each other,some people don't know how to control themselves most think since I love him while some they don't want to but if the guy kiss her she will not be able to control herself

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Fifi... It's normal. when you know you can't control yourself then avoid kissing. Some girls don't shake hand with guys because they've known their body.Some can shake hand with guys, kiss a guy and yet feel nothing. So you need to discover how your body react.

I also want to have sex but what if I lose control of myself?

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Can we chat privately

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I have a female friend and i love the but anytime I want to tell her that I love her some of her friends they we come and distract us

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

i want 2 chat privately don't know hw....

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Naomi253

I also want to chat privately

This is a really nice story..

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! This article was written because of you and we are glad you love it. Feel free to share it with your friends

Thank God I read this story and experienced something

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! This article was written because of you and we are glad you love it. Feel free to share it with your friends

I luv dis story

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! This article was written because of you and we are glad you love it. Feel free to share it with your friends

I learnt a lot from the story,its really educating,am not trying to be rude but our guys should learn to stop this their act towards girls...how can you treat a girl who loves u and gave you her all as trash.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! This article was written because of you and we are glad you love it. Feel free to share it with your friends

can I get pregnant if he releases on my trousers when pressing his thing hard on me without any clothes but I was wearing trousers but no undies

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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As long its not inside you can't .

Hi big sis I made same mistake chidima made right now am pregnant for the guy am going through lot of pregnancy problem everyday.dont no what to do

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. You need to talk to a trusted adult that won't judge you. We understand that it can be hard but you really need to do this. If you have one, please talk to the person. There is an organization called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything.

Sorry okay....! Is ur cross n u hav 2 carry it

it is good

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Michael

Am new am i welcome

Am new here,am i wellcome.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Ur absolutely welcome. R u a boy or girl?? I'm asking bcos of ur name

Hey Springster! You're welcome. We hope you like the stories. Feel free to invite your friends here.

Hey am new here

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Fantastic

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Hey,am new here am I welcome??????

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! You're welcome. We hope you like the stories. Feel free to invite your friends here.

Food for thought

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Food for thought

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

is it good to have sex?

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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YES AND NO

Yes i learn alot

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I learn from your mistake

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Hello,I need help.I always have urge to have sex but I don't want to do that, I find it difficult to control it,what can I do?

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Controlling your urge for sex is a personal decision that requires determination and self discipline. The best way to get over the urge is to distract yourself. You can learn a new hobby/skill, read a new book, gist with friends, just try something out that will distract you when you have the urge. There is an organization called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything.

Always be ready before having sex

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Am a man but I think I should contribute to this matter. As for me, the only advice i can give to ladies out there is that they should try to flee away from sex whenever you are not ready to. Because sex is very dangerous more especially for those who are still underage. Thank you!

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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U hav said it all

yh

I really learned a lot from this story I wish chidinma was able to abstain from sex and wait till she's legally and morally and rightfully allowed to

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Is it wrong to have sex while dating at young age

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Well seriously I don't really get the direction she is goin.. Not to have sex or thinking before having one?

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Having sex is after marriage!

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Pls springsters I need an answer to this question... if u masturbate does it make u loose ur virginity? sum1 asked me bt I did not have answer to it so I said I will ask here ND also, wat r d things a person will do that will make her loose her virginity???? I really need to answer dese questions for d person dat asked me... tanks

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

You can only have sex, when you want to or when you feel your are ready for it . Thanks

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

My bf asked me for sex bt i wasn't ready for it so i told him no, den he tried to force himself on me,luckly i somehow managed to escape, den i broke up with him nd now hs threatening me,wat do i do?

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Hello frnds am new here

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Ha fi na ll y have succiddent,.... Hello am new here pls welcome me

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Ha fi na ll y have succiddent,.... Hello am new here pls welcome me

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

That is true...... Especially when you are not sure and not connected emotionally with the person.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Yeah u right

Oooo Well true be told sex is sweet But she move too fast And now she freaking out

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Let's Just Pray That God Forgive And Give her A Good Husband And She Get Over The Shock

This is great,Chidinma you have a great mind

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

You should have not allow him at the first place

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

you are at fault

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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By dere don't blame her if it were to b u ,u'd do same tin

I dnt think its her fault maybe d guy insisted and she waz confused. D guy even ran away can u imagine,he caused it.

That Guy Is A Bastard And Nothing Else

Wow very wicked of him

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

why do guys do dat seriously????

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

That is life

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Well It hadn't happened to me cos I don't av boys in my dictionary right now Girl dats a brave one,I ad a friend who almost took her life ,she's still living in guilt nd self pitt

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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hi angyy can we be friends.

Hey angyy! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about your friend and we really want to help her out. Please tell her to talk to professionals who can give good advice to your questions at the Child Advocacy Centre for young people on 08 00 80 08 00 1. This service is completely confidential - which means they won't share what you say to them with other people. It is free which means she does not need to have credit before calling them. We wish her all the best and we hope this helps

That is why sex education is important...Parent should teach their child sex education,It will really help them a lot Chidinma,don't be too hard on yourself,just forget the past and move on........🎤

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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I Swear Not Told Any Thing About It

I don't have any girl now

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

hmmmm so dramatic

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I promise to remain a vegin till marriage but most times I am always tempted to have sex,i need help

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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You have to be patient! Me too feel that

I'm even scared of sex, it's painful isn't it?

Hey Pearl! Thanks for the comment. It is absolutely normal to have the urge for sex sometimes. This does not make you weird neither does it make you a bad person too. Having an urge does not make you bad. All you need to do is to learn to control your urge and make up your mind to remain a virgin to marriage even when you get tempted. We hope this helps

The Best Solution Is To Stay Away From Boys Pls Keep Limit

Do not ever commit sex until you get a true lover

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey Matojr607! Thanks for the comment. We advise that you do not have sex until you are ready for the responsibilities that come with it and not when you find true love. We hope this helps

where am blaming chidima is not holding up to herself because her lover did not force her instead she agreed to the question her boyfriend asked from her not knowing fully well that what they are about to do is dangerous to her health even to her life and career because if we should look into this case perfectly( she chidima is just 15 yrs and a Virgin for that while will she accept a boy for sex at her age, after deflowering her of her virginity he stop seeing her to me that boy is not her lover there is no need for friendship any more in fact she chidima should go for text and proper check up for her health and body. thank you

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I don't even know what to say cause its happen to me to and I get caught

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I need it advice. my boy friend used to have for sex wic I can't give to him now. he will be saying I will used protection, it will not pain you, u will not get pregnant . though I love him and he also love me what can I do to protect my relationship coz he has been their for me always.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey Misty! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about what you are going through right now. We understand that it can be a really hard decision to make seeing that you are in love with him. The truth is that NO ONE should try to lue you into having sex with them. Sex is not love and you should not be convinced to have sex. Since you are not interested, you need to stand your ground and if he loves you like he claims, he should respect your decision. It is not about wearing protection or the pain, it is all about you being ready for it. Like we said, no one should dictate when you should have sex. No means No. If he does not listen, it is obvious that he is more interested in sex that in you. You also need to be careful. Please talk to a trusted adult about this and try to be safe whenever you are around him. We hope this helps

If U Want Him To Stop Asking U Its Simple Just Tell Him To fuck Off

Am Sorry If I Used That Word

I'm in a very serious relationship with my gf but her parents want to give her out for marriage to another man which i known she don't love him, i will love to marry her but I'm still in school, what should i do?

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey Giftedjay2! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about what you are going through. We advise that you talk to a trusted adult and you both should also tell her parents about your relationship. She has a bigger role to play here because she is the one who is being forced to Please tell her to speak to the women at Risk Foundation who help young women who are faced with similar situations such as yours. She can call them on 08 09 21 00 009. This service is completely confidential-which means they won’t share what you say to them with other people. While reaching out, please note that you would be charged at the normal call rate charge for the call. We hope this helps

sex is good for health but it is periodical to have it's not always at any stage.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey U8U8! Thanks for the comment. You need to also know that having sex can expose you to early/unwanted pregnancy, STDs, STIs or even HIV if you have unprotected sex. If you must have sex, you need to talk to a trusted adult and also be ready for the responsibility ahead. We hope this helps

Sex is healthy for the body but you have to do it with the right person at the right time

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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God Bless U

Young girls should be told this before having sex ,thanks for this

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Hmmm... Poor chidimma

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

hmmm that's right.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Yes

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Hmmm. Sis I Know How We Guys We Disturb. But Sex Us Never D answer. I Am Not Saying I Have not Had Sex I Have But It Is never A To Say Let Me Just Think Of It Now So Pls Take My Advice And May GOD Bless U AMEN.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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I Just Came In Today Can I Feet In As A Friend To U Guys Pls

Hi BIGLOVE, hw u doing

I feel bad for chidinma but she has to move on. She made a mistake and she should learn from it. She can't change the past but she can control her future. Any guy who presses you for sex doesn't love you and you should cut them off. personally I want to remain a virgin till my wedding night. Take a stand girls and don't let yourself get used and dumped. You are beautiful, talented, special and you deserve nothing but the best. Love, Cynon

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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May God Help U To Keep To What U Said. AMEN

Thanks

can i ask a question

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

i made the same mistake once, i could not live with it bt now i feel some sense of comfort

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

DAT true me to plz I want us to learn sometin wen a guy told u to hsv sex wit him do nt becus after doing it he will stop dating u from DAT day so be careful

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

oh God! pls ladies study man b4 u start loving him

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

The best time to hav sex is wen u hav really settled down wit ur life partner

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Even though sex is not love,can I then be having sex maybe(outside)and not make my relationship partner not feel jealous(hence she doesn't want it)?

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Bishop_Jerry! Thanks for the comment. This is called cheating. How will you feel if your partner goes out to have sex with another person? From your comment, it is obvious that you feel that relationships are meant for sex only and that is a wrong notion about relationships. Sex is not a reason to date someone and it is better to end the relationship instead of having to cheat on her. Please note that cheating is not allowed and it is the height of disrespect. What you need to do is to change your thinking and mindset as far as this is concerned because you may end up hurting people instead just because you want to have sex only. Talk to a trusted adult for guidance. We hope this helps

Sex is best at marriage level....but I think at an adolescent we're supposed to not b thinking abt dat for now but our education and future career should be our priority n we should also think of D consequences too of premarital sex

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

My boyfriend once asked me to have sex with him but because i knew i wasn't ready & wont be comfortable with it i told him and he respected me for that

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Its actually good to keep urself from sex till u are with the right person it makes u more respected and valued by ur friend

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

NOW I KNOW MY STAND

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I just believe, sex before marriage is still the right thing. Like I'm not judging anyone, but that's where I stand

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Yea actually learned quiet alot

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

nice

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

yes.that's the best solution u find

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

yes it quite a lesson to learn from.thanks dear

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Dis story touches my heart so much.tanks chi

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Big sis,if a child of 10 or 11 have sex sleep with a boy will they any problem with her

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey Zina! Thanks for the comment. Has this person started her period already? If yes, there are high chances that she can get pregnant. Also, please note that if they had unprotected sex, there is also a very high chance of her chance of her getting infected with STD/STI or even HIV especially if her partner is infected. So, there is a lot involved when you have unprotected sex. We hope this helps

it not good to have sex early

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Some how i thank God for your life i know God has great plan for you

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

am new hr

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Good evening all am new here I have a question to ask. I have a friend who had sex at d age of 20 and she was not ready for it. She vow never to do it again until she is married but after keeping that promise for 4year she told me that she feel like having sex no matter she try to avoid it but it keeps coming up and d end of d day she end up masturbating.please I need am advice so that I can advice her.what can she do to stop it? Thanks

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

i have a boyfriend i love him so much but nw am pregnant he is making me to think that everything that happened is all my fault. pls ineed some adivce and am keeping the baby.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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how do you tend to cope without the father of the baby

hmm na weting una want

my cucumber is too big n fat to enter pussycat mouth. anytime pussycat wants to eat my cucumber i will b forcing my cucumber to enter Pussycat's mouth . what should i do to make my cucumber to b a little beat lesser pls. but it's wicked once it enters d Pussycat's mouth.

she needs adivce not insult please

Big sis: pls let help wayese out with this matter it not easy to be a single mother

hmmm

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

how do u want to cope without d father

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Pls Big Sis i have a boyfriend we have been dating months now and he just asked me have sex with Pls help me out

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Qincy2019! Thanks for your comment.No body should force you to do what you don't want to do, and by the way sex is not love. if he truly loves you he will not pressure you to do want you don't want, we advice that you speak to a trusted adult about it. we hope this helps.

There is difference between love and lust

Hmmm most of guys are bad and most of them are good reason be this me and my boyfriend we are about many months in relationship but he didn't ever ask me for fuck at all and in my own observation i think we girls we are curse trouble especially in our dressing and how we are Behave if we are be well dress no bad guy can come to us with bad idea but if we dress and behave attractive sex they will be inpress to fuck us that is why they well have fake love with us after that they will betray us that is not proper for us because we are going to be one person house wife. We have to take care of our self from dressing like any cloth that have less like breast less hand less bottom less an soo on and soo for don't play with boy who will press ur breast press your bottom hugs you and try to kiss you by force just stay away for them here is my own thanks.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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beejay, dont forget guys are not only the of source ladies spoiling bt also the ladies are still the cornerstone of guys spoiling, becz of their bad dressing tht was y they lost their emorional cntrol.

Bbs, truly girl are curse it but yoruba use to say that free hand is easy for devil to message.but why those girl are selling there self with low price now?

Hmmm most of guys are bad and most of them are good reason be this me and my boyfriend we are about many months in relationship but he didn't ever ask me for fuck at all and in my own observation i think we girls we are curse trouble especially in our dressing and how we are Behave if we are be well dress no bad guy can come to us with bad idea but if we dress and behave attractive sex they will be inpress to fuck us that is why they well have fake love with us after that they will betray us that is not proper for us because we are going to be one person house wife. We have to take care of our self from dressing like any cloth that have less like breast less hand less bottom less an soo on and soo for don't play with boy who will press ur breast press your bottom hugs you and try to kiss you by force just stay away for them here is my own thanks.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment and voicing out your opinion, we appreciate you. However, please note that it is never the fault of any girl. What you wear does not give any guy a right to try to oppress you. What you are doing is giving excuses for the boys that are not responsible and that is not fair on any girl at all. A boy that wants to have sex will approach even the most covered girl in Nigeria. Showing off your body is not an excuse for any guy to request for sex either. Please do not justify the behavior of guys and blame it on girls. We hope this helps

Big sister its helpful.but i have reason that make me mention dress because no matter how you dress that how will look you reason be this if girl Dress bad all the guy will look her as olosho and they will try to toast her after that nothing else than fuck after have sex that guy will leave her and still tell their friends about that girl from there all people that heard about her will be try their own to do on it.

hmmmm interesting bt thoughtful

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

I have a girlfriend, she's is Virgin and she's not ready to lose her virginity so I eat her pus*y instead and sometimes give her handjobs, please is that safe @big sister?

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey confidential! Thanks for the comment. To lose one's virginity, sex is not needed. All you need is a form of penetration and this is what the hand job is all about. What this means is that she could have lost her virginity without her even knowing. Also, there are chances of her getting infected with the bacteria in your fingernail. We hope this helps

frankly speaaking,there is one theme in this story which teachs us a morali ty of one's lease of life (especially we ladies). One coution is that-to abstain from having Sex early because it demage our ladish time,and painted us with the full of regrets. Thank u.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

is not easy to have sex in a young age

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

hmn it serious

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

The boy is mad nd crazy

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey Springster! Please note that use of such language is not allowed on this platform. You need to apologize for using such language.

That's why we need to be careful with our life

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

srx is feeling, don't make it control u

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

yeah , i learn something new well , what she did isn't right . just 3 months in the relationship hmmmn , it's wasn't ha fault afterall . she is young Thank God She Open Up To Ha Big Sister

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hello olayemi

sex is sweet that's what's I learned

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey Daniluv! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision as sweetness is relative - what is sweet for one person may be sour for another. However, we advise that if you must have sex, always use protection and you need to talk to a trusted adult about it. This is very important. We hope this helps

I learn a lot of thing but I want to ask one Question if you have a girl and u love her very much and she is not doing the way u want her to do or she is doing well with u before and change what can be done

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Fmcash! Thanks for the comment. First of all, you cannot make someone to do the way you want them to do. We are all humans and we all have a right to act the way that is right and not the way a guy wants. Secondly, you need to ask yourself if the behavior you are suggesting is right thing or if it is just what you want. If it is what you want, there is no need to impose it on another person as that will be self-centered. However, we advise that you have a conversation with her BUT you should not in anyway force or impose this on her. We hope this helps

I discover that there are several disadvantage to early relationship and sex Opening up to someone you trust interms of difficult situations like when you are up to something and you don't know the way forward ,helps a lot Taking a discission for the purpose of pleasing someone leads to future regret so let's stop taking discission for the purpose of making someone else happy I discovered that when a guy whom you are into relationship with begins to ask for sex and you give it to him, after the sex he will not value you again. He might develop hatred on you Learn to say no to a guy that's asking for sex and don't hide whatever is bordering you.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Thanks for this article am really inspired.

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

It's wrong for a girl to av sex with a guy having dis thought dat u want to please him.

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

This touched my heart

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

I agree on it but is it bad to sleep with someone that you choose to love?

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey CruiseDanny114! Thanks for the comment. First and very importantly, sex is not love in anyway. So if you love someone or choose to love a person, sex should not be an option. You do not have to involve sex to make someone know that they love you. There are other ways to do this. The moment you start adding sex, it is no longer about love but lust. We hope this helps

Hey CruiseDanny114! Thanks for the comment. First of all, sex is not love and so you do not have to prove that you love someone through having sex with them. There are ways to show love that do not involve having sexual intercourse. Secondly, having sex is a personal decision and it is up to you to make. However, you need to be aware of the fact that you are prone to infections and possibly pregnancy. We advise that you talk to a trusted adult about this. There is an organisation called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything

I learnt a lot oh , but still on a normal note,girls must be careful at the age of 15

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Absolutely

Urgh poor girl

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Is good to have sex early age I love sex at age of 13

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey Olamilekan! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision. The official age of adulthood in Nigeria is 18 but that doesn't mean that is the age for you to have sex. It is all about the individuals readiness and maturity for sex. You need to talk to a trusted adult about this. There is an organization called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything.

Hi everyone its me biglove my other account was blocked so i jst opened this one. Good evenin everyone.....

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Gud evenin big sister i want to knw if what i did was wrong, me & my girlfriend we have been together 4 almost a year now nxd month will make it a year. Some weeks ago i kissed her and she kissed me back d nxd day i did not go 2 school bcause of her i went to hr school nd then after school she broke up with me..... What was her reason?????

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hi biglove I think u should ask her that question. And please don't force it on her. Smiles...

Hey Biglove! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision. You need to ask her why she did that and also the basis. It is only her that can answer this question. We hope this helps

yes i learned something, but is very wrong to have sex at young age. thanks

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Is not wrong to have sex in young Age and he depend on Age

The story about having sex for the very first time is an educating one.

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hi! Am new here, Am i welcm?

I meet a boy in my street we both friends we discuss about our ca one day he asked me to have sex with him but i am not ready for it but i have to prove that I'm a big girl and we did it.any time he sees me he will not talk to me and my friend told me that he has ghost me and ask her what does it mean she said that it mns when a boy have sex with u he does not want to talk u big sis i want u to advice me what should i do to that boy should i kill him or arrest him

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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The only thing boys want from a girl is sex nothing more If a boy asks you to have sex with him and u refuse if he truly loves u he will respect ur decision.

Hmmmmmmm

But really,there are guys who have true love ,but if he does he should not ask for sex, though we are all human beings,we have feelings,but ATM is the key(abstenence till marriage)

you can't harm him just forgive ursef, and make peace with your so it won't disturb your present

I will rather say, u forgive urself, next time be careful......dont let any guy deceive u wit sweet words.....a guy who love u won't love u for sex, for relationship is nt all about sex ad money

yah u don't need to harm him ,see the best in urself .put it behind it a pass.

this is an important story thankssssśśsss

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Chidinma my bestie you are right having sex untimely is a risk that may even cause your life thanks again baby.

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

I had sex when I was 14 with a girl of 20 and we both enjoy our selves. Few days later the girl told me that she is pregnant For me I then told her that at age of 14s you can't I'm pregnant a girl. Unfortunately after the conversation we had l left her With anger because she was the person that forced me to do what am not suppose to do MoN knowing that she had sex with a 30 year old guy so my mom arrested her for a such acquisition so that was where the truth Came out so they both now bailed their self So my having untimely sex can lead to death so stay away say no to untimely sex thanks I remains #FLYBOY

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Nice

nice one fly boy

hi

Amazing 😀

Nice

Interesting

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

to me girls and boys having sex at early age is not a good idea at all

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Hello big sis..am really having a problem with my self and i dont no what to do..anytime i see any up coming girls i feel soo sex imotion(i feel like having sex with them)if they are in the period of growing breasth..pls help me out...

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey Mool! Thanks for the comment. We advice that you speak to a trusted adult it for help.

that is the reason why i wright to you, i have no one i can trust, and my mum,i can't even tell her..i dont no if u understand me..bt is there no any other way u can help or what to do or eat that can help.? PLEASE.

firstly I advice against sex when you're not legal(18 years of age) by thar

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

firstly I advice against sex when you're not legal(18 years of age) by that time you should be responsible and have no fear of your bf leaving you after sex in in the uni and I have Sex with my boyfriend 2 years together just don't rush into relationships

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Am new here

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey Girl2007! Welcome to springster. We are glad to have you here.

I have a question ,boy n girls who has the highest tendency to lead one to premarital sex? n who have the high drive for sex ?just to be educated thisbwas an argument between my two colleagues at work I think you guys can help. thank love you all ,watin for your reply.

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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I personally think girls have the most tendency.

Hey Admiral! Thanks for the comment.both male and female have the tendencies to lead one to premarital sex. no one is higher than the other. We hope this helps.

Am scared of it

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

How can a guy say he need sex from you.

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey LLiya45! Thanks for the comment. sex should be consensual, both pasties should agree to have sex, not one person trying to get the person against his or her will. You should talk about it with you partner, both should agree or talk to a trusted adult about it or a mentor. We hope this helps.

Am super scared of that thing

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey Ashley! Thanks for the comment. What exactly are you scared of?

Very interesting

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

I don't want to have sex now

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey Agas! Thanks for the comment. you don`t have to if you don`t want. dont make anybody force you into it. We hope this helps.

Am also having problem with my boyfriend because of this sex of a thing Am scared of losing my virginity Am scared of getting pregnant after the sex Am scared of the pain Please what can I do,though I feel like doing it but at the same time am scared, what if he doesn't marry me,what will I tell my future husband Am just so confused

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey Temmy! Thanks for the comment. you cant make such decision in a confused state ,you need to be fully aware of what you are getting your self into. You need to consider stds making use of protections like condoms or contraceptives are not always 100% protective, getting pregnant is also there, so you really need to put all these things into consideration before thinking of premarital sex. We also advise that you speak to a trusted adult about it.We hope this helps.

pls I need a serious answer. I had sex at my tender age like the age of 6/7 but I want to no if am still virgin cos since then I didn't have sex.

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey bsjYhYou are no longer a virgin...but if you want to have sex again you would feel the same paun yhu felt when you had sex rhe first time because down there is already tight....

Hey bsjYhYou are no longer a virgin...but if you want to have sex again you would feel the same paun yhu felt when you had sex rhe first time because down there is already tight....

what age is right to have a boyfriend

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Can I have sex with my bf am not yet 18 but am aan undergraduate although he doesn't ask for sex but anytime I went to his house we used to romance which sometimes almost lead to sex. Pls advice me

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey Batifeori! Thanks for the comment. i cant tell you to have sex or not, it a personal decision which only you can decide for your self. but you have to to consider some things before taking such decision, like stds and pregnancy. using protections are not always 100% safe, you need to make sure you and your partner are free from stds and you also need to be emotionally and financially ready just in case you happen to get pregnant, now ask your self are you ready to start having sex? we also advise that you speak to a trusted adult about it. We hope this helps.

I am 21 never had sex before, but I Ave dis guy I love so much he said I shud give him sex but am so scared, I don't want to loose him, he said he can't date a girl dat can satisfy him, shud I give him sex bcos I don't want to loose am confused

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hey Starfish! Thanks for the comment. Any that demands sex from you as a prove of love those not love you in the first place. You should not let anyone talk you into what you are not ready for, you are your own person and should be able to make your own decisions. Love is not sex and sex is not love, We also advise that you speak to a trusted adult about it. We hope this helps.

Yes

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Hi what age is right to have a boyfriend

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Yep,i learnt dat we cnt trust sum1 completely...nd we sud nt do tinx 2please odaz

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Hi big sis am sacred my boyfriend want to have sex with me becos he is acting strange recently am sacred I don't want to loose him.big sis what should I do?

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Av u discussed wit him

Yea I discusse it with him but he said he wants to take it to the next level that is when our love will grow more and I don't want to have sex yet but I don't want to loose this guy please advise me on what to do.

if he truly loves you he will wait till you are both married please don't agree , control yourself. if he goes then it means he doesn't truly love you and he sh

Do not do it if you ain't ready,if he really loves you and care about your future he'll be patient enough to wait for you.

I learnt that sex comes with a lot of feeling

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Hi am new here n i think sex shouldn't be forced!!!

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Hi am new here, am i welcome ? I think we should be ready before having sex

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

I don't really know what to say. But sex shouldn't be the main talk of any teenager. There's times for each and everything we do. Today most teenagers are destroyed and shattered by early sex.

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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yeah.... it's a true fact...... as well as teenagers is concerned,sex shouldn't be their main talk in which they lay emphasis on...... Many try to emulate and her being influence by friends and environment""........... Not all that glitters that's gold"...... Many don't even know why it's maimly and untimely for teenagers,but could express why it's should be done at teen's age"",which is typical falacy""....... It's so honourable having sex for the first time when an individual is already engaged and weded,no one would describe to you then"..... The diffrence between "harming and charming" is letter C"

I think it's really wrong to have sex before marriage... you're supposed to have sexual intercourse with your life partner. I'm happy she could get over it,it could have led to depression or even worse. You're really strong chidima .

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Hey big sis,uhmm... I'll be 18 very soon ,but I kinda realized that I'm not attracted to any guy at all ,though alot of guys do ask me out , I don't even seem to feel anything for them at all,and the last I liked a guy a little,he told me he really liked,and that instance I began withdrawing from him, I'm not a lesbian but I just don't feel anything..you think something is wrong?

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Hey big sis,uhmm... I'll be 18 very soon ,but I kinda realized that I'm not attracted to any guy at all ,though alot of guys do ask me out , I don't even seem to feel anything for them at all,and the last I liked a guy a little,he told me he really liked,and that instance I began withdrawing from him, I'm not a lesbian but I just don't feel anything..you think something is wrong?

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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Hi dear, I felt just the same way but recently I realised that there is nothing wrong with me. I am simply ASEXUAL. Being asexual means that I have no sexual attraction to anyone whether male or female. I don't feel anything around the supposed 'hot' guys and I don't find anything sexually attractive in a boy's body. Just like you, I am not a lesbian and I felt weird and strange for sometime but I also discovered a website (www.asexuality.org) and it feels like home to me. In the forums I find other people from different parts of the world who share my feelings. You may probably be asexual and it is nothing to be worried about. Yes, you might feel weird but your type is very special and rare to find because asexuals make only 1% of the world's population. Cheers.

Hi dear, I felt just the same way but recently I realised that there is nothing wrong with me. I am simply ASEXUAL. Being asexual means that I have no sexual attraction to anyone whether male or female. I don't feel anything around the supposed 'hot' guys and I don't find anything sexually attractive in a boy's body. Just like you, I am not a lesbian and I felt weird and strange for sometime but I also discovered a website (www.asexuality.org) and it feels like home to me. In the forums I find other people from different parts of the world who share my feelings. You may probably be asexual and it is nothing to be worried about. Yes, you might feel weird but your type is very special and rare to find because asexuals make only 1% of the world's population. Cheers.

Please how can I post my questions or share my experience

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Heyy I'm new here

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

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you are welcome

how may i help you?

Alaseyori_100 thanks 😘

HI. i am new

Why did the guy ingnore u