Changes you don’t have to worry about
We are growing right now. At this stage there are so many changes we will experience in our bodies and behaviour..
These changes might get us worried, because they are new to us.
But some of these changes are normal and nothing to worry about.
Changes like;
Wanting to be alone
At this age we might have mood swings or get irritated easily. We want to be left alone. This is why sometimes we lock ourselves in our rooms, play loud music or even listen to music with our earphones to avoid talking to people around us. This behaviour is probably caused by our hormones. That is the substance in our body that influences our behaviour and mood. It is totally normal to want to be alone but it is important that you don’t shut out people who care about you from your life. Don’t isolate yourself from them.
Getting attention from boys or getting attracted to boys
We are at our puberty phase. During puberty, our emotions may become stronger and more intense.
Our feelings change quickly and randomly.
We probably start having sexual thoughts and urges. We may also get attracted to each other, this is sometimes called having a crush
All these are normal.
What we do with this attraction or attention is important. We can decide to become friends with a boy we are attracted to. A boy who is attracted to us might ask us to date him. All these are normal.
However we need to think of our safety first
The friendship or relationship should not make us do things in secret or against our wish.
Bodily changes
We are growing and our body is changing.
As we grow we will notice certain changes such as the breasts growing, pubic hair, or your period.
Boys also will experience these bodily changes such as growing a beard, baritone voice or pubic hair.
All these changes are normal. Sometimes some of our friends might experience their changes earlier or grow faster but it’s nothing to worry about. Our bodies are different.
Getting concerned about your appearance
Are you getting concerned about how you look? That is totally normal at this age. We want to look our best. This is why we now apply colourful lip gloss, powders, Henna (Lalle), etc. We even start to pay extra attention to how we dress. We want to always look trendy and really cool. All these are normal.
Our appearance is not the only thing that makes us look good or feel beautiful though.
Having a good character and attitude, being helpful, kind, funny or even having a special talent or being smart are all things that also will attract people to us and make us likebale.
Getting curious about certain things
Do you feel like right now you are so curious about things like sex? It is absolutely normal at this age. But it is important that we get the right answers from the right place. For matters like this it is advised that we talk to an older trusted adult or Big Sister.
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Your thoughts
Qenzo
Big sis I av a small breast of 11yrs old gal and am 14yrs wat can I do that will help me to have breast lyk my mate and is natural
Nov. 27, 2022, 12:51 a.m.
YES DATS REALLY TRUE, MY FRNDS IRRITATES ME EASILY, I THOUGHTS I JST HATE DEM 4 NOTHING SAKE.
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
VERY CORRECT
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Thanks big sis,dis is really helpful
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Exactly as u say.Big Sister
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
TRUE, INFACT CORRECT
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Big sister is a size 36 considered as being busty at 15?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey Gesi! Thanks for the comment. There is no right or perfect size for anyone. We are all different and unique. If you are a size 36, then you should see it as the perfect size for your body and then you should love and appreciate it too. Do not let the society define what beauty is to you girl. Your size is perfect and proportional to your body and that is all the matters. What you should do is to love and appreciate it the way it is. We hope this helps
Big sister please I want to lose side fat...what do I do?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey Gesi! Thanks for the comment. You should drink more water, exercise and avoid eating late. Also, eat more fruits and vegetables too. We hope this helps
what about controlling or getting rid of the urge for sex by masturbation both in girls and boys
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Despacito! Thanks for the comment. Masturbation (especially among teenagers and girls your age) is normal because you are at a stage where you are trying to figure out your body and also explore. So many people your age do this so it is normal. Masturbation is frowned on by most cultures and religions. Also, getting addicted to masturbation can affect you sexually later on in life. If you really want to stop it, you need to make up your mind and make sure you stick to it. Also, look for a strong distraction that will keep you busy all the time so that you won't have the time to masturbate. We hope this helps
i have a crush on a boy how do i tell him big sis
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey funky! Thanks for the comment. Crushes tend to fade after a while. A crush will not last for a long time. Instead of telling your crush how you feel, we advise you to talk to him and get to know more about him. Be friends first before you start talking about feelings. We hope this helps
I have a crushon somebody how do i tell the person big sis ?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
I have a crushon somebody how do i tell the person big sis ?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Great! Thanks for the comment. Crushes tend to fade after a while. A crush will not last for a long time. Instead of telling your crush how you feel, we advise you to talk to him and get to know more about him. Be friends first before you start talking about feelings. We hope this helps
Big sis, am feeling that a guy has a crush on me and i don't want him wat should i do.
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey GOLD! Thanks for the comment. You are only assuming and you are not sure yet so do nothing about it. Do not worry about little things like this. Besides, it is a crush and it will fade off after a while. Even if this is confirmed and he comes to ask you out, the fact that you do not want him is enough for you to say NO (politely). But until then, do not say or do anything because this is not yet confirmed. We hope this helps
hye big sis have a frnd have nt yet seen her period but get to matured and have a sex does it mean she have disvirgin her self
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey TAMI! Thanks for the comment. Please note that period has nothing to do with virginity. If she is having sex already, she is obviously no longer a virgin and this does not and will not affect her period. She just hasn't started her period yet because her body isn't ready for it yet. Please advise your friend to always use a condom if she must have sex. We hope this helps
Hi big sis,I notice am always having a feeling/crush for most cute guys..And I always feel guilty about it. Please,big sis,am I normal and am I the only one feeling guilty about it?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Favy! Girl, you are perfectly fine! Who doesn't like cute guys? Crushes are never that serious so you really should not feel guilty about it. Cute guys (and girls) will always have people crushing on them because they are cute. Please do not feel bad about it. Having a crush on them is not a bad thing, it is when you start forcing yourself on them or mixing up this feeling for love that there will be a cause for alarm. We hope this helps
Thanks big sis!
HI BIG SIS
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Big sis i feel guilty i like three boys and i don't want to lose them help:-(!!!!!!!
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Dont let them know u like any of them,and keep them in ur heart.
Do u think i should do dat? bcus i want date one of them.
Hey Misty! Thanks for the comment. You cannot like more than one person the same way. There is obviously one that you like more. Sit down and think well about it. You also need to know what you want in a partner and so you should use that to streamline who is it that you will be with if not you will end up liking every guy that comes your way. You have to lose 2 if not all 3. You cannot have your cake and eat it Misty. You should probably let all of them go until you know what you want for yourself so that you don't end up doing guesswork for the person you want to choose. We hope this helps
I HAD SEX ONCE FORCEFULLY THROUGH MY ANUS NOT VIRGINIA BUT DIDN'T SEE ANY BLOOD AND THAT WAS MY FIRST TIME? AM I STILL A VIRGIN OR NOT?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey CATHY! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about what you went through. Like the name virginity, it is when the hymen in the vagina tears and so it doesn't count for anal sex. However, we advise that you talk to someone trusted about this and also seek medical attention. Being forced to have sex can be very hard to deal with and it is even harder when you have to deal with it alone. There is an organization called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything.
I'm sacred of sex and being around girls and I have bipolar disorder
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Being bipolar doesn't have to be detrimental to living a normal life. I have a full time job and also live alone. However, I do work for family and have them living close by. Support from friends and family is vital in this respect😁👌
Hey Shady! Thanks for the comment. Being afraid of sex can mean that you are not fully prepared for it yet. As regards having bipolar disorder, Prince_Ezic_Haxoring has given a great response to that. We advise that you talk to a trusted adult and see a doctor. We hope this helps
yh I noticed all especially wanting to be allow
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Hi every 1, i am new here.
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Uhhh... Hello there! Welcome to Springster.
welcome
Hey there Big Sister. I have acrush on a boy but the problem is that I don't know him all that well. Whenever I speak to him, he replies with short sentences with a rather crispy look and tone. Sometimes, he answers cheerfully. Other girls and even boys have observed this as he treats both sex in the same way. I have asked around and found out from his only friend that he likes me. What can I do to win him over??
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. First of all, you should not try to win a crush over but rather, you should get to know him better and be just be friends with him for now. Want to know why? This is because crushes tend to fade after a short time. So what will happen when you no longer have feelings for him? (because that is bound to happen). Also, since he treats everyone like that, that is his personality. This is why it is important to know the person well enough and know if you can handle him at his worst. Do not let your feelings excite you, relationships are more than what we imagine. We hope this helps
I just don't like girls but neither do I like boys in an 'Unusual Way'. Most girls say I'm gay because I don't talk nor tolerate them. I want it to stop. What should I do? And am I gay?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Jeff! First of all, are you a guy? If you are, you are in the best position to know if you are gay or not. But from your comment, you do not seem like one because if you were, you will always talk to girls and you will love and tolerate everything they do. Those girls are not correct at all. Do nothing about it and do not let it bother you. You can try to correct them and let them know what big sister just told you. We hope this helps
Do you mean that you don't have female friends?
Yeah... That's exactly what what I mean! I mean, not even one. I've tried but nothing seems to work.
big sis is it true dat if u are small and iu are puting on makeup it will cause rashes
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey soni! Thanks for the comment. No, it will not cause rashes except if you use the wrong product on your skin. We hope this helps
Big sis hw about you loving a girl but always feeling unconfortable when with her???
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey 0T! Thanks for the comment. Yes, it is possible. Love is strange and deep at the same time. We advise that you talk to her about it. We hope this helps
My name is sanum is long distance relationship good or bad
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Sanum! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision and it is up to you to make. We hope this helps
My name is debby wat do I do if I feel like having sex and I can't control myself
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey batista! Thanks for the comment. It is normal to feel this way, we all get this feeling so it is not a crime. only confirms that we are humans. Sex begins in the mind and your mind has to want it first before your body begins to crave it. So you need to control it from your mind. Engage your mind in things that keep it busy so that it does not have to wonder or start thinking of sex. Occupy your mind with other activities like reading a book, gisting with friends, learning a new skill/hobby etc. We hope this helps
What if my penis is full of blood?. Just stand straight and very strong,very hot. Because i use it fruits very well,even date.
Am yusuf by name,the moment i saw a girl my desire will attempt so how can i control my self
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Yusuf! Thanks for the comment. You need to know that not every girl is meant to be approached. For you to be attracted to every and any girl then you really need to watch it. The easiest way to do so is to take your eyes off them and move on. You are in total control of this. Look the other way or focus your attention to something or someone else. We hope this helps
how can you identify a virgin
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey OPOS! There is no way to physically identify a virgin. Virginity is not written on the face neither is it seen in the way a girl walks or behaves. We hope this helps
I hv kis a grl thrice, bt it sims i dnt wnt 2 hv an intercouse wit her, bt she is teling me 2 do it 2 avoid her sexual urge. wat wil i do
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. No one should force you or make you have sex when you are not ready for it. Sex is a voluntary thing. If you are not ready for it, do not let her force you to do it. There are so many other ways to get over sexual urge. She should also learn to control herself when it comes to having a sexual urge too. We hope this helps
I hv a gf dat is pretendin 2 b my crush, wat wil i do?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Am new here
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
i av bin recieving kisses 4rm my bf nd smtyms i think of hw i wld feel wen he touches me...u shld undastnd am 15 nd he z 16, is it ryt
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
hey I got a friend thats always masturbating and he ask what is the way out.... what should be the answer I should give him
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
hey I got a friend thats always masturbating and he ask what is the way out.... what should be the answer I should give him
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
Latest Reply
tell him to fast and pray
Hey diddle! Thanks for the comment. Masturbation starts from the mind because you think about it before you do it. If your friend really want to stop masturbating, you need to make up your mind that you want to stop and then do things that will distract you and keep your mind occupied. You can learn a new skill, gist with friends, finish up that chore etc. Just do something that will not let you think about masturbating. We hope this helps.
I mostly feel shy I c a gal I feel like I don't want to embarrass my self I can't even front any I don't knw wot 2 do advice pls
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
I am in love with my cousin what should I do
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey mhizj! Thanks for the comment. Take your mind of it for your own good. We live in a society where such a thing is seen as an abomination so please, falling in love with a family member or even a distant relative cannot work in this part of the world. Distract yourself and get it off your mind for your own good because no one will support you on this. We hope this helps
big sis my period was supposed to cum yesterday but it did not it came twenty eight of last month
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey soni! Thanks for the comment. When we say monthly cycle, what we mean is either 28 days or 30 days (depending on your cycle). It does not have to start on the 1st of the month and end on the last day. It can start at the end of the month but as long as it lasts up to 28 or 30 days as the case may be with your menstrual cycle, that is all that matters. What you need to do is to track your period using a calendar to know how long your cycle is. Please note that menstrual cycles last from 21 -35 days depending on the individual. We hope this helps.
I don't feel comfortable with the kind of breasts I have because I did things I now regret to them boobies...I feel like if I didn't do what I did I wouldn't have big and heavy breasts
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey Gesi! Thanks for the comment. The size of your breast is hormonal and it is not caused by anything you did in the past. There is nothing you can do that will make you have heavy breasts because the size of your breast is not determined by what you did in the past. Please do not regret anything or blame the size of your breast on your past. We hope this helps
it normal its even make u look beautiful,thank GOD for who u are
LET ME SUCK IT SO THAT IT WILL BECOME SMALL
attrated to boys sometimes i get worried
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Humm big sis am new here. Hello everyone. Am 14 and I have a bf, we do kiss. Is it right?
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey pony! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision and it is up to you to make. We hope this helps
What i don't want to do. I find myself doing it
Can love at tender age still fade when you are grown up. Because I know someone who they started dating when they were in sss2 but now they don't love each other again. Maybe be because they are grown up now. Yy is it always like that
I'm attracted to cute tall guys and I'm 17 but I don't want to date and I'm like what's wrong with me so I've decided to start dating when I'm 18 but then I think it would be the same things again liking, crushing but never dating
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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stay true with your decision
I'm attracted to cute tall guys and I'm 17 but I don't want to date and I'm like what's wrong with me so I've decided to start dating when I'm 18 but then I think it would be the same things again liking, crushing but never dating
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
i have started to feel in love
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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lover Boy
i want to apporach a gir,l i don't know were to start
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey Musa! Thanks for the comment. The first place to start is to ask yourself why you are approaching her and what you want to discuss with her. You cannot just approach a girl because you saw her walking by. You need to know why you are approaching her and what it is that you will like to discuss with her. This will guide where you will start from. We hope this helps
i am attracted to a guy but i don't know how to approach him what do i do.
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Be Yourself
My conscience just can't allow me to date someone one i really love is this normal
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey Nice! Thanks for the comment. Yes, it is normal. It just means that you are not ready for it. We hope this helps
yes
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Yes
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Big sis,wen am dressing up i will like or have the intenssion of exposeing my private parts out. Is this also one of th sign?
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey jaky! No, it is not one of the signs. Exposing your private part is definitely not a sign of puberty. Like you called it, it is a private part and should not be exposed for any reason. It also makes one look cheap and trust us, you will not be respected when you expose your private part. Our society does not support such acts so it is best for you not to even try it in the first place. We hope this helps
Hi am new here.I have a huge attraction on a boy for over a year now,we don't talk only greetings. Have always convinced myself that I will get over him but it doesn't seem to fade. I don't know if this is love or sheer infatuations
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey miles! Thanks for the comment. If you both do not talk then it is obvious that this is only just a crush because you cannot love someone you do not know on a personal note. You can get over him, all you need to do is to make up your mind to get over him and you will see that it won't be hard for you. We hope this helps
hey big sis, my best friend has a problem with controlling his sex urge, what should he do
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hi you said your friend is finding it difficult to control his urge for sex?wait let me understand you properly do you mean that when the urge comes he must have sex?this friend of yours should remember that he destroy this urge when he is been determined and your friend should try avoiding things that makes him sexual excited and this to stop he has to control his urge for sex very well.bye.
Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Everyone has an urge for sex, it is normal but if it is distracting him, he has to make up his mind that he wants to get over it. We hope this helps
I love sex but I have no girlfriend, I love foreign ladies most especially from uk, Canada, USA,germa Germany
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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are you a Nigerian if yes why don't you like Nigerian girls please tell me I will like to know and please please never you have a girlfriend because of sex cause this can lead to the feeling of lust instead of love
Dat hw Nigeria guys roll... I think🗨️ xo ... I also love foreign ladies xo much 4 no reason... Maybe bcus of d colour of there skin or their hair - I guess
hi everyone here one particular day I was going somewhere back then I was allowed to go out because we have not yet moved to our new house, one day an older boy called me I ignored him,he called me again I ignored him,he then came to my front that he has been calling me I then asked why he then said I love you I want you to be my gf then I was 11 and that year was 2015 abi last 3yrs I then told him I don't want to date you leave me alone he was like is because am begging you or what I then said wait, wait what do you really take me as,I don't fucking care about what you are saying is it by force leave me alone as people were their he left,the next day I saw him he did not talk to me for weeks then later he said he was sorry that what he did was wrong I forgave him and now he has a gf a great one.
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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nice one.
wow....
LOVE WHAT U DID
LOVE WHAT U DID
I actually crushed a guy nd he crushed me back but I was not ready to date. When I was ready he asked another girl out which made me hate him till date but now he's begging me to date him but I don't think the feelings are there anymore.Just of recent I met a guy who showered me with love,gifts,nd care and now he wants to date me.And my feelings are tearing me apart from deciding who I should date. what should I do big sister
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. You do not like any of these guys well enough to even date them. The first guy was just a crush and you really did not have any reason to be upset because you weren't ready and he moved on. The second guy is showering you with things. You feel like you like him because of the things he is giving to you. Dating is beyond all of these things besides, do you know these guys well enough to even date them? We hope this helps
I ALWAYS FILL LIKE HAVING SEX BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY PLS HELP
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
PLS I FILL LIKE HAVING SEX BUT I DON'T HAVE A GIRL TO HAVE SEX WITH
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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Do u want a girl to ave sex wit her? If yes u are wat u r tinkinG is verg wrong so stop it trx and control urself.
Hi Jake u can't have a gf because of ur sexual urge, cause if u have one of ur sexual urge it won't last, and it is also going to affect u to mistakenly lust for love, which I don't want to happen to u,but to feel like having sex is totally normal cause we are growing and we trying to discover our body,so when u feel like having sex again try distracting yourself or remove those things around u that makes u feel sexually aroused OK.bye
Do not do that u had better wait for the right time instead of committing a sin
You're such a fool. I'm guessing your sense has departed from you with your stupid English.
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
You're such a fool. I'm guessing your sense has departed from you with your stupid English.
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
Hey Gesi! Using inappropriate and insulting words are not allowed in this platform. No matter how upset or angry you get, it is not enough reason for you to use such language. This is a safe space and such language is not allowed here.
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
I want to have hot sex.
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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r u crazy
Wia're yu...
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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Hi judge are u new and what do u mean By where are u
Is talking to ur best friend about ur crush right?
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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Hey Springster! This is a personal decision and it is up to you to make. We hope this helps
There's nothing absolutely wrong with that
Ok thanks
how can u tell a girl about ur feelings for her
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
how can u tell a girl about ur feelings for her
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
please I need help I really like this boy...he makes me happy... he said he loves me.. but he schools at delta state and I school at Lagos... 😕 ayam confused
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
please I need help I really like this boy...he makes me happy... he said he loves me.. but he schools at delta state and I school at Lagos... 😕 ayam confused
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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You need to wait if u are meant to be with each other, fate will work it out sooner or later
hi everyone I'm new here
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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welcome
Hello Evie,you are welcome dear.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
hi am new
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
hi am new.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Big sis , is it normal for a girl to have black vaginal discharge before she starts her period
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Yes it's totally normal
Yes alway thinking about sex ( like imaging about it and alway with boys dat are ur friend)
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
I easily get irritated,annoyed and prefer staying on my own.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
I'm always thinking about sex and staying alone
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Can u call me, let's talk bout it my num is Zero seven zero three eight one five eight six eight eight.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
This Advaice sound niice, And are all true,,
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
fuck
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
I have a friend that her breast has falling.i got to know this anytime i visit her, she dont like to where bra.that is the way i got to know it.we all as friends use to say that it becouse boy or guys has over press her breast that why.bt the question is can someone breast fall without guys pressing it.???.SO WE CAN STOP JUGEING....
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
hi am new here to big sister please me and my boy friend were are very close i give him sex even when he is not in the mood but am sacred because for almost a year now hes breast has been swolen please hope we are not infected we love each other so nuch please i need advice so i can talk to him about it
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
I was defiled by my brother when I was 9 and the experience is still Popping in my head to the extent that I'm very scared of boys now so what can I do
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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To your God in prayers and supplication, forgive and let go. Be Born Again(2Corinthians 5:16-17) and the rest will be stories.
I see stain on my undies and some white particles around my privates nd i havent started my period
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
Latest Reply
How are you?? Check such and YouTube for better visual explanation