Here’s how to talk about it
Imagine this scenario:
You’ve had a crush on a boy for a while. The two of you start talking. Then he asks you to be his girlfriend. Next thing, he wants you guys to take things to the next level.
You agree even though you have no idea what the next level involves.
You notice he always wants to meet you in secret and late at night. You realize the next level means sex.
You are not ready. It seems like that’s all he’s interested in.
You decide to speak to someone. It feels like such a big decision. One too big to make on your own
So who do you talk to? How do you approach them?
Here’s some advice from your big sisters at Springster:
1. Choosing the right person
You want someone who you are comfortable around. Someone you trust to tell you the truth. Someone who understands. Someone who will not judge you.
Whoever you decide to speak to, make sure they are:
- Trustworthy
- Experienced
- Non-judgemental
2. Opening Up
When we speak up, we tend to feel better. Especially if we are talking to the right person. Plus, a problem solved is half shared
Although this can be a bit difficult for some of us as it requires some level of confidence. Here’s how to do it:
- Don’t be shy or ashamed to talk about boys. Remember mums, aunties and older relations have all been through the same thing you are going through right now. They understand, so relax!
- Find a quiet and calm place so there won’t be many distractions. Ensure whoever you’re talking to is in a good mood and not stressed.
- Practice what you are going to say. If you’re afraid you’ll panic or get nervous; it’s perfectly fine to practice what you will say in front of the mirror. Writing it down also helps.
If you need support with decisions don’t be afraid to talk to someone about it!
Want to read more inspiring stories like this one? Then head to our Springster Facebook page and connect with a community of girls just like you! - https://www.facebook.com/heyspringster
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Your thoughts
Hi am new,i love u guys......ah want to say something like dis happend to me but bcos of reading sprinters story,i overcame all things ehyy.....am now at peace. Thanks to u guy,ur definitly great ppl.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Awwww I feel honoured, ur definitely welcome nichoela
hi ,you are welcome ,now a springsters
Hey Nicheola! Your comment just a big smile on my face. Thank you for the comment. We are so happy we were of help to you. Once again, thanks for sharing this with us.
You're there, it is not easy only decisive people can do this.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Paulson! Thanks for the comment. Everyone should be decisive when it comes to having a boyfriend or getting into a relationship. You have to at least know what you want for yourself and have a vision for your relationship. This is very important and if you feel like you are not so sure about what you want, you shouldn't be in a hurry to be in a relationship. We hope this helps
Hi am new here i love u guys Have been having issues with selecting the right guy for me
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Sonia! Thanks for the comment. We have given you tips in the article above and we advise that you read the article as it will help you a lot. We hope this helps
hi a boy i respect so much always ask me to be his girlfriend but am scared of telling him no cos i dont hav feelings for him and feel that if i say no it might hurt him and am trying all my best to avoid him in social media ,school and streets bt he keeps on disturbing me and telling people am his g.f pls help wt shud i do ?.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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merahmelody Hello I think you’re the cause for this and if you don’t want it to get out of hands you should confront him in an open place and explain your reasons vividly to him so he can have better understanding
thanks alot bigsam
I have a bf and he want me to kiss him but i can not do it and our relationship is 6 month now what should i do.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Rodi! Thanks for the comment. If you don't want to kiss him then don't do it. You have every right to make such decisions and you shouldn't feel bad about it. If he loves you like he claims, he will respect your decision and not force you to do what you are not ready for. Please, do not allow anyone out you under pressure to do what you don't want to do. We hope this helps
Thanks Rodi for dis question, I have dis same dis same issue, am glad big sis has given an answer to it thanks big sis. It being I came to dis site
OK tnx big sis
Tnx Favi ad princess love u guys.
Hello everyone I’m still new here, I’m Sam based in Lagos and I’m 18yrs this year... Was passing through and this article caught my eye, although am a guy and I’m sure I also have a say in this matter and il will like to say that girls today are actually the cause because they allow what they think is love to make them stay quiet just because they don’t want to hurt his feelings. Girls should please ask questions for better understanding in relationships so there won’t be any issues between them.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Big_sam12! Thanks for the comment. However, girls are not the cause of the problem because (according to what you stated), if girls have to ask questions well, it automatically means that the boys are not being straightforward with what they are telling the girls. Listen Sam, we are not here to blame any party but the truth is that everyone needs to know what it is that they want from a relationship and this is not just for girls. Both boys and girls believe they are in love most of the time when it is only but a crush. We advise that you also learn from this article and not conclude that only girls are getting it wrong. We hope this helps
hi everyone .Id like to make friends. Check me out on facebook... I'm Wizzay Chyde Bite on facebook with cardi profile picture.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Big sis I have a boyfriend and we have been dating since March this year...but he suddenly started requesting for sex....I'm 16 and he is 17... I have explained to him that I'm way too young for sex but he doesn't want to listen...he says it is better I have an experience...he even threatens to break up with me if I don't give him sex and I love him so much..I do not wanna loose him ...I also want to keep my self.. I'm not ready for sex....what do I do to keep him and my self 😭😭😭😭
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Lola i think you have to let go because you are too young for such
Lola u can let go of him becos of u own sake....if he truly loves u he will not ask 4 wat can hurt u......n sumtyms in life,wat u need u dont av...wat u dont wat 2 know u av 2 learn and sum pple u cant do witout u av 2 let dem go.... so lola it is tym 4 ur last tears to flow n smile again...let him go u still av many tins ahead of u
is it wrong to have boy friend
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
is it wrong to have boy friend
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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NO BECAUSE THERE ARE DIFFRENT CATEGORIES OF BOY FRIENDS IT DEPENDS ON D ONE U HAVE
Good evening Pls what is d right age for one to be in a relationship. Need answer ungently pls
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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THERE IS NO SPECIFIC AGE BUT IT IS WHEN A PERSON IS EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND HAVE ACHIEVED ALMOST ALL HIS OR HER DREAMS
Pls guys can u explain this to me, Whenever am walking with a girl on the street I usually see my penis rise I don't know what it all about. Any one with an idea Pls let me know
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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IT IS BECAUSE U ARE SEXUALLY AROUSED AND I THINK IF U CONTROL UR MIND AND BE FREE UR SITUATION WILL CHANGE
Its bcuz u are sexually aroused
BIG SIS I AM NOT ABLE TO VISIT ANY FRIEND OF MINE BECAUSE MY PARENT FORBIDS IT WHAT CAN I DO
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Same thing happening to me
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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I wish the same to u🎅🎅🎅🎅
I wish u the same
Xame here
Hi evie, I wish the best dear.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
big sis I need help I started dating a guy online, when he asked me out I accepted just for accepting sake without even having any feelings for him and now am now in love with someone else that is not an online boyfriend, I don't wanna break the heart of the guy I meet online because he claims he loves me so big sis please help me cause I don't know how to tell him am in love with someone else.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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You dont say yes to a boy out of pity...dat ur first mistake but have u meet d guy physically?if u av not it better 2 go 4 d person u both see urselves everytime....think about it
yea am gonna go for the guy that I love but I don't wanna hurt the feelings of the guy am dating online, the online dating sef is nothing too me cause he don't know me very well and we have not meet before, so am totally going for the guy I love and not the one I dated out of pity or something like that
Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. It is better to end the relationship than to keep deceiving him. It's best that you move on now and not try to keep holding onto the relationship. Also, you need to be sure that you are not jumping into this other relationship. You have to know what it is that you want in a relationship and in a partner and you have to be honest with yourself too. We hope this helps
It doesn't atall
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
I have a doy I like for 3 year's now he keeps on asking me out and I say no but i really like him wat should I do
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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agree now...
Hmm Give him an answer
hi @Alena I suggest u follow ur heart cause it decision which only u can make, I hope u make a great and beneficial decision.
Hey Alena! Thanks for the comment. You are in the best position to answer this question. First and most importantly, you need to know what you want in a relationship and in a partner. Secondly, you also need to talk to a trusted adult for guidance. We hope this helps
Is your decision, we hope you make the right decision
You can't control d hrt, if ur hrt is ready den u re gud to go.
Big sis,my boyfriend left me fone another girl after 3 yrs of dating . I have tried to convince myself that its over but i just can't . How can i do it
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Try to move on girl.
Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. It can be really hard but once you make up your mind to move on, you will see that it will be very easy. You will have to distract yourself and get rid of anything that will remind you of him. This includes pictures of him or even social media. This way, you will not get distracted by memories of him. You can gist with friends, watch a new movie, read a book, start a hobby... the list is endless, just do anything you can to We hope this helps
;-)Babe move on
So sorry to hear about that. My advice is to move on. The first thing u need to do is to convince yourself that it's over and he can't come back to you and even if he does,taking him back would be like going back to your vomit and that's not nice. Secondly take big sister's advice and find a distraction. Getting over a heartbreak is like recovering from a broken arm. It might take some time but you will heal. Love, Cynon
Big sis my boyfriend is dating my bestfriend.nd i dnt knw, nw that i knw wat should i do. .but i really love him.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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You can't do anything about, is the boy choice, whether he will be with you or not
Hey Emzzy! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about this. We understand how sad and hurt you must be right now. The truth is that both your boyfriend and your friend do not deserve you. You deserve more than this. Yes, it is enough to be upset but you need to cut them off. No true friend or boyfriend will do this to you. You need to move on and let them be. The best is waiting ahead for you. We hope this helps
Hold your heart tight and leave him...he does not love you
hlo leads and Jen tilmens I weshi we wek wel four naic dream my story about of my lovely girl friend
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hi
Tanx
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Hmm
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
When ur boyfriend ask u to have sex with him nd u refuce then he try to rape u, what will u do that moment
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
There z dis guy in my class, I fell in luv with, we became frnds, I told my bestie dat I have feelings 4 the boy, she asked the guy if he had feelings for me nd he said no, now he doesn't tall to me lyk he does b4, he only says good morning or hi.Am really confused on wat to do at dis moment. Big sis, pls I need ur help.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Mhesyluv! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about this. We understand that this can be hard. However, you need to know that the fact that you like a guy does not mean that he will automatically like you back. While we understand how hurt you feel, he has a right to choose who he likes and who he doesn't like. We advise that you try to move on and you should also be strong. The fact that he doesn't like you back is not the end of the world. You will find someone else that will love you back. We hope this helps
Hey Springster! Thanks for opening up with this comment. Rape is not acceptable and it is a criminal offense under the law. If your boyfriend chose to rape you because you refused him sex, then you need to talk to a trusted adult about it immediately. Do not hold back because of the fear of being judged, you really need to speak up for your own safety. You can also speak to the women at Risk Foundation who help young women who are faced with similar situations such as yours. You can call them on 08 09 21 00 00 9. This service is completely confidential-which means they won’t share what you say to them with other people. We hope this helps
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
But big sis I can feel it dat the guy lyks me but he z kind of shy.Cos his best frnd told my best frnd dat the guy lyks me but he z kind of shy to cum nd meet me.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Mhesyluv! Thanks for the comment. It's not safe to feel and assume that someone likes you. Because if he doesn't like you,it will be really heartbreaking. We advise that you try talking to him and get to know him better. This way, if he likes you like his friend said, it will be easier to communicate. We hope this helps
hi am kind of new here and i have a question i have a crush the first time we meet we spoke but then i began to snub him and he's not talking anymore i feel sad what should i do
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Tanx big sis u're d best.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
There's a guy in my area. I always like him but i don't wnt a boy friend. Help me big sis
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
I must say this happens alot, but no to me yet
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
hi i am kind of new here but i like a guy told him how i felt about him he told me he is love with someone else .I am just heart broken.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hi
Well it so funny coz for me I had a crush on a guy,although we don't talk he just passes by and I admire him BT am a girl ego would never allow me to confess to him that I have a crush on him wht if he refuse me moreover I would look to cheap to him although am sure he noticed that I like him and he also started looking at me flirtily and I thought he had d same feeling for me I later got to know his name on fb and I sent him a friend request which he accepted and he later told me dat he does love me and that am too small for him it really hurt me and I gave up BT up until naw I still av feelings for him BT he just wouldn't look my way
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Wake up, sweetheart! It’s time to open your arms and embrace the new day. Welcome happiness and success, Good morning!
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
In my life no fool or bastard will ask me to send mixes, sex chat or have sex with him or her. Because the minute you start thinking about it thunder will strike u dead, if you think your mama born you and u fit gather moora talk am then try am
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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hey , me I fear you,wetin be d curse . haha,yes,they don't dare .even d person wey no see your face and see your comment,no go try am.
Lolzz
wow
Hi big sis, well am new here just wanna share an experience of my with you. Well am have this guy who is having a crush on me, and also I am. but his having another girlfriend. But he prefer having much time with me and showing much care and promise to leave her too get me. After 4 month I meet another guy and of which he pays me attention, cares for me and also wanting the best for me and he knows about my first crush. But right now am confused on which I should rely on cause I have feelings for both of them. Help me big sis.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Yes I need trusted honest
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Hey big sis , there are five boys fighting for me The teacher said she will report to our principal I'm really scared
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Be careful and sort urslf out is going to be more trouble
Hey Big sis, I wondering if it's even ok to have feelings for a boy who's popularly known and described as bad?
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
There is a boy forcing me to have sex and he even says deep sex please big sis wat should i do
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Boys are lik d same they will want to sex with somone jst follow ur heart sis
Hi ,am kind of new here there is a guy who as been disturbing me 4 d past 1 to 2 month now truly i had a crush on him but am so scared to start a relationship what should i do
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Ballerina, you just be yourself and dont let anybody to force you into water u dont feel like doing though am a malw not a female really understand what boys do for girls arround me here cos i have lot of friends that fonicates thats my little advice for you
thanks enisegdammy for d little advise
my advice is for you to follow your heart.. love of God is the best it ties Walls and melt all mountains..if he is yours definitely you will fall into his arms without double mind
thanks frankly
a friend of my told me some week ago that he like me that i should be is gf but i did not say any thing to he, letter he sent a message saying that i should never mind and he say that i should come and see he at home i was not able to go becaus i was not feeling fine,he call me and ask why did i not come and see he and i say i was not feeling fine and he say why did i not tell he and i say nor thing and since that day he as not call me or text me i try call he throu fb but he as block me on bf i don't no what is happen to he but i think he doest like me that is why he is behave is way hey big i need ur advice
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
My boyfriend is asking me for sex,bt i refused.so nw have notice a sudden change in him.he dnt care abt me nd hw am doing again.big sis please help me what should i do?
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Passion for sex in a relationship is polygamy in disguise.
He never liked u in d first place. He needed a sex object.
Hey Emzzy! Thanks for the comment. Do nothing about it. Sex is not love but love means respecting the opinion of the other person involved. If he loves you like he claims, he will respect your opinion and not try to force you into having sex with him. If his mood changes because you refused him sex, then he was only interested in you for sex alone. He only cared about sex in the first place. Please be careful when you are around him and also talk to a trusted adult. We hope this helps
There's a guy that's love me but I don't love him, I don't have any feelings for him, and his been calling me almost everyday, pls what should I do.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Then js forget abt him
hi vera,if i were u i would ave just report or tell an elderly person who can warn the so called guy dat as been distutubing and if he still continue then i will change my sim
Ok
Hey Vera! Thanks for the comment. The best thing is to tell him that you are not interested. It is better for you to tell him that you are not interested so that he stops calling you. You do not have to be rude, just let him know that you are not interested. We hope this helps
there is this guy his actually my bf we've dated for over five months now but he has traveled to his state for over a month now whenever I ask him when he will be coming back he kept on telling me that he doesn't know pls what sign is this cause am scared
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey jessbabe! Thanks for the comment. What if he really does not know when he will be back? You should also try to find out his mission in his state to understand why he needs to be there. Sometimes, you have to ask questions and not assume. Being in a relationship means you have to be able to communicate properly. We hope this helps
thanks big sis
thanks sistah
Theres dis boy... i dated for 2years now We love each other a lot.. but we're frim different religious background.. I finally had the courage to break up wit him because my sisters didnt like him.. noone in my family did. And i was emotionally attached to him... i wasnt even sure he'll marry me.. now my bestfriend told me he likes me.. And i like him to but not like i liked my first boyfriend.. i dnt knw wat to do.. because if i shuld date my bestfriend.. ill hurt my first boyfriend.. but everyone in my family likes my bestfriend better.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Andorra33! Thanks for the comment. Please, do not date a guy because he said that he likes you. You need to let him know that being in a relationship is not about how one person feels about you. You also should not consider if other people in your life like the guy. What exactly do you like about him? Sometimes, you need to know that being single sometimes is not a crime. You can stay on your own to discover yourself and also get to know more about yourself and what you want from your next relationship. We hope this helps
Big sis I'm been into a serious relationship with my girlfrnd BT there is this girl that have been disturbing me and moreover she is not showing that to me physically to know BT telling her frnds we r dating which is not true' please big sis I need your advice here, have talked to her to leave me alone but she won't just let me go and right now because of her am having difficulties in my relationship what should I do to avoid been carried away by her big sis
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Jwell24! Thanks for the comment. You need to let her know that you are not dating her. There is always a hint that makes people confirm this. So if she does not stop spreading rumors, you may need to cut communication with her and also directly tell her friends that there is nothing going on between you both. If all these do not work, we advise that you talk to a trusted adult about this. We hope this helps
HI... AM DATING A GUY FROM MY SCHOOL... BUT ITS SEEMS LYK OUR RELATIONSHIP ISN'T ABOUT US BUT HIS FRIENDS..... THEY THINK I SHOULD GET MORE PHYSICAL WITH HIM TO PROVE THAT I LOVE HIM WHICH HE KNOW I DO... BUT I DONT WANT TO... AND ITS SEEMS LIKE AM LOSING HIM... HE IS GETTING MORE DISTANCE..... PLS WHAT DO I DO
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey STRA! Thanks for the comment. Please let him go if he wants to. A relationship is never about being physical and when ever it gets to that level, it is best to move on. If he is getting more distant because you are not willing to be physical, it means that he was only looking to be with someone he can be physical with. If he is being distant because of what his friends think, it is obvious that he doesn't know what he wants for himself. You need to walk away and not be under unnecessary pressure. Trust me, it is better than to be with someone who is not on the same page with you. We understand that it will hurt but it is better for your happiness and peace of mind. We hope this helps
Water u nid to do is dat u leave him alone because he is trying to cheat u and it will rili affect u because u depend on him. U need to leave him but dat one should not mean u did not talk to him.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
hmmm,thats wonderful imegination.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Baby, sex is not love so dnt let any guy fool u. true love is hard to fine.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Yeah...
Hello sis, pls is it bad to kiss ur boyfriend?
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Daisi! Thanks for your comment. there's no one particular way on how to approach a girl, But we advice that you first get to know her very well by first of all becoming friends with her. From there you get to know how she feels about you then you take off from there. We hope this helps.
Hey Sparkly! Thanks for your comment. kissing your boyfriend is a personal decision, you just have to make sure no body is forcing you to do what you don't want to do. We hope this helps.
big sis is it actually all boys dat want sex nd hw can sare dis 2 facebook?
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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No,,nt all boys bcuz i've been dating my boyfriend for 3years and 4 months now and he has neva ask me for sex
No not all boys its might be wrong for me to here am a boy but am dating my girlfriend now for 2years and 1month and have never had sex with her because she's a virgin but we do kiss and romance.
Not all boys coz my boyfriend even wants me to wait till we get married
Hi am new here well I met a guy in d provincial headquarters of my church, I don't really like him wen I set my eyes on him, my friends even forced me to add him up on fb we started talking and I get to know he ave a crush on me, well my feelings for him just come from somewhere, we do chat and we like each other, he cares a lot but things changed wen he got to school, wen he was still at home I didn't want a boyfriend but now I feel like am loosing him, I don't see him all d tym stuffs like that, sometimes his behavior is off, recently we talked and he was like telling him to trust him dat if he want to date anoda gal he would ave do so, he made me promise him I will pass all my exams and ave my admission, he cares but am feeling somehow like, after all these admission process will he Still like me? will he wait, we talked about it and he said I should pls concentrate he is not going anywhere but am fighting these feelings cause guys one can't trust them like that
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Everyone can be trusted as long as you are trustworthy. This guy seems like a good person that is after your growth and advancement and guys like these are not everywhere. Why don't you take his advise and focus on gaining admission first and worry about other things later. He probably does not feel the same way about you but because he likes your company and has your interest at heart, he just doesn't want to push you aside. We advise that you take his advise. We hope this helps
Pls Big Sis Hw Can I Share Dis To Facebook?
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Lovette! Thanks for the comment. You can copy the link and paste it on your Facebook page. We hope this helps
Big sis, am in love with this guy and same there, but my mom and his dad are not in support because of the rumour he heard abt my mom and my mom who loves money will want me to marry a rich man, secondly i had a prophesy that said" the person u will marry is nt in Nigeria ,but i love this guy and i wish to marry him, please i need an advise cos am confuse.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey cynthia! Thanks for the comment. We understand how you feel but you need to note certain things; first and foremost, are you both ready for marriage... physically, mentally, financially and in every other way? Can you both fend for yourselves without the help and support of others?Please be honest as you answer this question. Secondly, a guy that is mature enough and is ready to marry a woman will not be bothered about any rumor he heard about her or any member of her family. Finally, prophesies are spiritual and Springster is not a religious body so we cannot touch on that however, the fact that he is not abroad now does not mean that he cannot be abroad tomorrow so you really should not let that bit stop you. Do not be confused, just take your time and get to know him better before you start thinking or talking about marriage. Take things slow okay? We hope this helps
Big sis am in love with a guy nd my parent dnt want me to start any relationship at d age of 18 i talked with them but none of them support me please help me out
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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find out their reason.
Hey SmARt! Thanks for the comment. Cynthia is very correct. You need to find out their reason behind this rule. Most of the time, we believe our parents are just mean but sometimes, there is a reason behind the rules that give to us. Try to find out why they don't want you to date him. Also, you can be friends with the guy with your parents consent and get to know him better till you are permitted to date. There is no need to rush into a relationship because the basis of every relationship is meant to be friendship. We hope this helps
HI HERE AM NEW HOPE AM WELCOMED
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Big sis i dnt if its actually love lust or crush i dnt really knw ao i do feel anytym i c him or anytym m around him i cnt explain d feeling n iz lyk d guy also hv feelings 4me but his scared of expressing it n we ar kind of close but recently its lyk d guy is avoiding me n i do feel bad abt it n i dnt wnt 2 force myself on him but his behavior dis dayz is really paining me n i do feel jealous wen i c him around other gals even if i won't show it i dnt knw wat 2 do m confused nd i dnt even knw y his avoiding me Big Sis Pls Advice Me On Wat 2 Do.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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shy guy do the same, so dnt be jealous, i think he is trying to find out if he truely feel the same when he is around with other gals before he finally opens up to u.
Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. You need to be sure of what you feel about him. We have written an article explaining these different feelings in an article so we advise that you read it so that you have a better understanding. The title is Crush vs love: know the difference". Also, we advise that you talk to him as he is your friend. Find out what is causing the distance so that you get a sense of what is happening. Finally, we try to advise against believing that someone else feels the same way you feel for them just because you have feelings for them. We hope this helps
Am 16 nd i slept with my 21 year old cute boy friend now he's left me he said he dosen't wanna date me anymore i was so fustrated his friends now call me cheap and a loose girlbecause i let him fuck me am so fustrated😥
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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baby u are nt cheap. Dust ur self up and move on. And as 4 that guy he never loved u.
Hey ellakrayne111! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about how you feel but you should not let this one incident reshape your life and perception of yourself. We understand that it is being used against you but then you chose to do it and so no one should make you feel bad for the decision you made. We advise that you speak to professionals who can give good advice to your questions at the Child Advocacy Centre for young people on 08 00 80 08 001. This service is completely confidential - which means they won't share what you say to them with other people. It is free which means you do not need to have credit before calling them. We wish you all the best and we hope this helps
Ella,your lover is on his way okay!!!!! You're not a cheap...................... Can we hook up??
Sure dear i'd like to hook up wit you
Isnt your ex boyfriend meant to be in like prison 16,21 l mean thats so wrong😒
hmmnnmm , yes so many times , i even thought of quiting the relationship . buh i have this friend of mine whom i always open up , he made me realise so many things . thanks to him
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
big sis,I have a bf,he cheated on me when we started dating by kissing his ex,later he cheated on me by kissing another one of his ex,he told me himself and i forgive him,we make out occassionally and he gives me heads but it seems like hes getting addicted, he wants to do it every time but he's not pressuring to do the real thing because I'm a virgin, I'm worried hes cheating on him
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. The first question we have for you is why exactly did you go into a relationship and also, what is keeping you in the relationship? If you are worried about him cheating on you then you need to do something about it. You are obviously not comfortable with him cheating and also with him giving you heads. It is not advisable to be in a relationship with a cheat because you are more likely to get heartbroken and also get infections (yes, you can get yeast infection through oral sex). There is an organisation called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything
My boyfriend is always busy this days and it makes me feel as though he is so distance from me,we are not staying together but the relationship is not as romantic as before and I don't know what to do anymore
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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baby find out if he still loves u, if he doesnt then distance ur self and move on.
Hey Pearl! Thanks for the comment. Have you stopped to consider the fact that he is actually busy and not trying to be distant? We may be wrong but then sometimes, we can get really busy and it can make us distant. What you need to do right now is to be understanding and stand by him. Also, please note that it is not a man's responsibility to make the relationship romantic. You also have a huge role to play in making this work. You too should put in an effort and see this work. We wish you all the best and we hope this helps
Big sis.....i have dated my boyfriend fr a yr now We av nah gone out together bfr.... N he keeps lying to me.....he's in skul n am nt in skul yet ionno if he has anoda gf I dnt just trust him animre......i think he dnt love me
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Have you stopped to consider the fact that he can't afford it? We understand how you feel and if going out will validate your relationship, why don't you take him out? Not something too expensive but if you really want it, get it done. It is not just the guy that is meant to take a girl out. You should also play an equal role in that. Try this and if he refuses then we are both sure that he is running away from something. We hope this helps
Big sis pls I need ur advice on diz ... There z diz prohet who is knwn by my family he gave me a prophecy n it a kind of true and since dat day I m always free n open to him.There was a day we were 2gether in d house he started kissing n romancing me i wasnt ok wit it so I tried running out but he grabbed n hold me tight.that was wen he nw opened up to me dat he has feelings for me and he want us to date n I told him no but he kept on troubling me And he's abt getting married.ryt nw m confused I don't know wat to.Big sis pls help me out!
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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pls report dis to ur parent he just wants to u
Hey Imaobong! Thanks for the comment. You need to talk to a trusted adult about this immediately!!!! You also need to stay away from this man as he is dangerous. There is also a professional body you can speak to called, The Women at Risk Foundation who help young women who are faced with similar situations such as yours. You can call them on 08 09 21 00 00 9. This service is completely confidential-which means they won’t share what you say to them with other people. While reaching out, please note that you would be charged for it. We hope this helps
Report to your parents....and if I were u I'll make sure he goes to jail for being a fake prophet Nd a womanizer...or take him to court I don't take nonsense
nice advice big sis tnxs
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
I am new here !! I have a boyfriend,we have been together for 11months... He has changed me positively but we haven't had sex yet though he isn't forcing me to, but sometimes I am clouded with doubts and fears ,fear of getting hurt and doubts if he can stay with me even without the sex I really love this guy, and he does too... I don't think am ready to loose him I want the doubts to go away
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. You do not have to worry. Just enjoy your relationship. Worrying can lead to lack of trust/suspicion and this can end a relationship. We hope this helps
i am dating girl but she is living far away from me and i don't know wat to do.please can u help me
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Hey ayomi! Thanks for the comment. You need to look for a way to work it out and if you feel distance will be a major issue, you should end it so that it does not end up causing troubles. The decision is up to you to make. We hope this helps
thanks
in a relationship is huge, kiss , and romance compulsory, if yes, if u are that kind of person that is not interested? 1. what will the girl think answer please
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Hey Donaldlee039! Thanks for the comment. All of these are personal and are all different to every individual. One person may be interested while another may not so there is no specific answer to your question. However, we advise that you approach the girl you need this information from and ask her. Communication is very important in our daily activities. Also, you need to know that if she is not interested, you should never force her or try to force her. We hope this helps
that is love na.is not that will are having sex
hi friends am new here. am I welcomed. pls big sister if a boy is asking you for date what will you do
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Hi Ana nice to meet. Well its your choice if u want to go out with him u can say what pleases u if u want to or not
Hi big sis I noticed something with my lady lately she as been acting weird she does not allow me touch her or play with her just like we use to do is either when I try touching her she tells me she is tired of she wants to rest for awhile or just come up with series of excuse dat I don’t find ok Nd she keeps telling me I should have understood this is a nature but I don’t feel comfortable with it anymore and my plans with her right now is to get engage with her this year and my fear now is if things go far Will it not affect my marriage with her pls advice what step to take thank you:
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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That's a sign dat she is no longer interested , u av to read her sign language, avoid making mistake which Will b hard 4 u to correct,
Hey Abcd! Thanks for the comment. Have you even bothered to sit her down to ask her what is bothering her? From your comment, it is obviously that sexual intimacy is more important than the well being of your lady and that is really not good enough. There is more to a relationship than sex. If you want to marry her, you should be concerned about what is going on in her mind and also look deep to find out why she is rejecting you. Also, what if she is really tired? Have you though about that too? What could be stressing her out? You need to work on yourself before you even think of getting married or popping the question to her. We hope this helps
Good day big sis i am new here, but am confused there is dis boy i still dont know whether it is crush or love. Though i have not told him but my classmates found out that i some how talk to him differently , treat him nice and so many more but to me i dont think so. I just want him to be my best friend but i dont know how to tell him. Help me out, thanks
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Some people are like that. People just tend to get fond of them and treat them differently too. This is because of his personality so it may not be a crush nor love. We have written an article on this' Crush vs Love: Know the difference. We advise that you read the article as it will help you. For him to be your best friend, you should just be free around him. Be you and do not force it. If you both genuinely have each other's interest at heart, it will be easy to be best friends. Being best friends with someone is not a one way thing. You both should be each other's best friend. We hope this helps
Hi big sis. Is it okay 4 me 2 date my teacher?? Ave been crushing on him 4 weeks now and he likes me too. I can't stop thinking of him. I really like him. I need ur help plz
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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This can turn out to b an infunctuation
Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. No, it is not okay to date your teacher. Actually, it is unacceptable. What you need is to get over him and do that fast. You also need to talk to a trusted about it. We believe that he is also trying to take advantage of you because 4 weeks is not enough to validate that you even love someone. There is an organisation called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything
Hey Bunmu! Thanks for the comment. No, it is not right to have a crush on your teacher. The fact that he also likes you is something to be worried about. We advise that you talk to a trusted adult about it as soon as you can. There is a Child Advocacy Center where they help and give professional advice to young people in situations like this on what they can do to be safe. You can call them on 08 00 80 080 01. This service is completely confidential - which means they won't share what you say to them with other people. It is free which means you don’t not need to have credit before you call them. We hope this helps
Hi big sis though am new here but I hope u help me ,I met this guy when I went to spend the holiday with my aunt though I met him through a friend I made there ,he ask me out as in this guy is handsome with his pink lips and fair complexion but my friend who knew him earlier is also crushing on him ,now she is kind of hating me but I don't want to lose that guy and her but she doesn't want me to say yes either pls help what can i do?
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Hey zeebliss! Thanks for the comment. It seems to us that you do not love this guy and what you feel for him is just infatuation. If there is tension between you and your friend because of him then he really is not worth it. No guy is worth putting tension between 2 friends. Think about this, what will happen when things go wrong with the guy? You both would have lost out both ways... We hope this helps
Hi big sis though am new here but I hope u help me ,I met this guy when I went to spend the holiday with my aunt though I met him through a friend I made there ,he ask me out as in this guy is handsome with his pink lips and fair complexion but my friend who knew him earlier is also crushing on him ,now she is kind of hating me but I don't want to lose that guy and her but she doesn't want me to say yes either pls help what can i do?
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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please how can I proved me love 4my bf without using sex
I will say that u should go for d guy if u love d guy.... the same thing happened to me, she keep giving me excuses on why I shouldn't date the guy but I don't want to loose someone I love.... if u love d guy date him
Hey love! Thanks for the comment. First of all, sex is not a proof of love and should not even be an option on how to proof that you love someone. There are several other ways to proof this. By being caring, the sacrifices you make for them e.g. time, how you speak to them. The truth is that when you love someone genuinely, you automatically have their interests at heart and the person will know. Unless if they have trust issues. Don't try to over impress. Talk to the person and find out what a relationship means to him and once you both share ideas, it will be easy to be on the same page. Do not allow any guy to put you under pressure. We hope this helps
Hey Zeebliss! Thanks for the comment. The first thing we need to point out is that NO guy is worth breaking or coming in between 2 friends. Girl, you both should not let that happen. Secondly, it seems like you are more attracted to his physical features than his personality. You are in love with the fact that he is physically attractive. Also, you need to know that crush is not love and what you both feel for this guy is called crush and not love. You both have not taken out time to get to know him better and you are already fighting to be in a relationship with him. Relationships are deeper than we think. It is not about dating the finest and freshest boy, it is about knowing what you both want from it. It is not wise to stay in the same relationship and loose your friend. We hope this helps
Big sis pls help in dis, ders dis lady i knw, she has 2 boyfriends wic re willing 2 get married 2 her if she's ready, d problem here is, she's confused on who 2 accept cause, d oda guy try by all means 2 help financially, nd she wouldn't want 2 break his heart. Pls we need an immediate answer.
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Hey Reps! Thanks for the comment. Your friend cannot choose who you she likes if she is still holding onto the benefits she's getting from them. She's still biased with the person that is giving her money because of what she is getting. She needs to know what she wants in a relationship and marriage but then, there is more to marriage than just the money. We advise that she withdraws and think about what she wants for herself and also talk to a trusted adult about it. There is an organization called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything.
I had a boyfriend when i was twelve years old and we did that thing and i was like i should do it again because is so sweet
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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The result is so painful b ware pls
Hey Orumeokolokg! Thanks for the comment. Yes, it could be sweet but then you need to consider the results. The first thing you need to know is that you are too young, secondly, you could get infected with either STDs/STIs or even HIV. Thirdly, pregnancy may occur. We advise that you talk to a trusted adult. Also, there is an organisation called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything
Similar experience here, But have learnt a lot
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
hello big sis is been a while although problems cum nd buh we dey ve to be shared,dere is diz dat is asking me to prove my luv to him by having s*x wit him nd i dont knw wot to do.
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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hello,pls dont fall for such guy that not true love.He only want to have sex with u
hi friends I'm new here
hi friends I'm new here
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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U are welcome
Well 4 m thing like dis we sud nt hury
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
hello big sis i need ur help.I am in love with a guy in my school for over a year now,but i dont know if he loves me.pls what can i do.
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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You can always find out by d way he treats u. Compare it to the way he treats other girls. He might love you
I have a boyfriend who disturbing for seeing and am we met on socialmedia and am not intresting what should i do big sis.
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Miss just tell him u don't feel comfortable meeting him yet. Or that ur parents won't allow it and u can't lie to them.
just tell him you cant see at night or better still let him come to your house so that your parent can see and you wont be scared it a very high risk for a girl to go and see a boy at night alone.
That is true
big sis could you give me some advice because am totally confused right now,there is a girl in my class that always like to play with and where i go she will always like to follow but the problem is that when ever she sees me with another girl maybe we are gisting or playing she will always get angry.Why is it so?
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Discuss with her about that
Hi Rico , that's is not called anger but jealousy ,she may be acting that way because of one thing that is probably because she doesn't want to lose your attention to other girls or because she likes u and someone said jealousy is a symbol of love
Hi Rico.... One word. she's in love wit u💘. That might also be d reason of her anger.
i have a friend who i am currently having a crush on. he knows i like him from my behaviour towards him. but he want to be practical about it. i told him we are too young for a relationship and it may affect my growth in academics. and now he is ignoring me. i love him as a friend and for his brilliance. what should i do
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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dont be threatened into having sex, if he feels same way for you he ll accept your reasons
Help me big sis I have boyfriend who is always disturbing me for sex and I don't want to give him
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
How can i proof to my bf that i love him without having sex with him
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Just tell to his face,tell him you love him but you don't wanna have sex. Tell him sex is not love ,tell him even if you have sex with him does not means you love .then he should understand you and if he really love you.
Thanks damsel
Don't mention
Big sis!! My boyfriend do ask of sex from me. I do resist but he keep insisting plss wat will i do?
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Ask him if he loves you more than anything in this world and if his reply is "yes" and you see it in him that he means it just tell him straight that you are not ready for sex and you don't want to do it........
my sis, I will rather advice u dat.....sex is nt a way of showing dat u love someone..... Any guy who love, should u love your life, soul and all andnot sex. if he insist in sex dat mean he did nt love u....try to stop him now eals he will later break ur heath wen he get want ge want(sex) : : girls be wise........
mega dear sex is not love,if he truly love you,he'll wait , if he insist and threaten to leave you,my sister be happy and let him leave,for he is not worth it,and be thankful to God for pushing such person away from your life.
I and my boyfriend love each other and he shows it that he truly loves me.he tells me what is in his mind, if a girl is asking him out or fighting with him and he even knows my biggest flaw but he acts like its not there,but the problem is am still mum and dad's pet.for 1 week and 2 days we have not seen each other cuz my parents are really around but not going to be for long what can I do that wont make me lose such a guy like him.I want our relationship to last long. please I need your advice
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
Hi Big Sis, wat i noticed ws dat since my bf has relocate 2 lagos he has been behaving weird if i call him he would be given unnecessary excuses but some days ago we were chating on social media nd he told me his emotionally sick nd he also said i should give him space, dat i should nt call him nor chat him up.Pls ma advice me on wat 2 do.
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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hannellah you can give him the space he needs then try not to think much about him. try to do things that will make you think less about him and things that will make you happy. try posting pix that shows that you are happy and because he said that to you doesn't mean you are down and cant do anything without him. you need to give yourself some love so people can throw back that love to you in folds.
Thanks.
if you notice that someone is avoiding you,the best thing to do is never to disturb them maybe he thinks you can't do without him, prove him wrong, show him that you're happy with or without him,it can also be that he is no longer interested in you,but that shouldn't make you sad,move on ,engage in activities that make you happy dear
There are various angles to view this case of yours. You need to be really careful when trynna deal with it. You need to carefully study the situation at hand. Be that as it may, here's a few examples of what I feel the scenario is (alongside my suggested solution) 1- He could be intentionally building a wall around himself, just to see if you'd make attempt to break through the wall (every guy does this once in a while. Even I am no exemption). Perseverance is what you need if this is the case. Just don't stop trying to get to him (even though I wouldn't advice you to do so if you feel you need not do so). 2- He might have cheated on you with another lady and his conscience is starting to get the better of him. If u find out such is the case, ring up his phone and ensure you two have a 1 v1 convo to thrash things out. 3- He might've heard stuff about you from people around you and feels irritated by such news. If such is the case, hit him up on the phone and tell your side of the story (don't Blame him if he doesn't believe BTW, there are people who still disbelief in the existence of God) 4- He might have found someone else. If such is the case, stress not and move on. 5- He might have personal stuff he's trynna sort out and be in real need of some time alone.
There are various angles to view this case of yours. You need to be really careful when trynna deal with it. You need to carefully study the situation at hand. Be that as it may, here's a few examples of what I feel the scenario is (alongside my suggested solution) 1- He could be intentionally building a wall around himself, just to see if you'd make attempt to break through the wall (every guy does this once in a while. Even I am no exemption). Perseverance is what you need if this is the case. Just don't stop trying to get to him (even though I wouldn't advice you to do so if you feel you need not do so). 2- He might have cheated on you with another lady and his conscience is starting to get the better of him. If u find out such is the case, ring up his phone and ensure you two have a 1 v1 convo to thrash things out. 3- He might've heard stuff about you from people around you and feels irritated by such news. If such is the case, hit him up on the phone and tell your side of the story (don't Blame him if he doesn't believe BTW, there are people who still disbelief in the existence of God) 4- He might have found someone else. If such is the case, stress not and move on. 5- He might have personal stuff he's trynna sort out and be in real need of some time alone. If so, give him time.
Hello everybody I'm new here there is a boy whom I've fallen deeply inlove with and we stay in the same house we've started dating tho but I'm afraid things could later turn sour
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
Please i need an answer immediately, this is the quesion, what is the reason and motive of a person having a girlfriend or boyfriend?
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
hi everyone, I'm new here,I hope to meet new friends. hi big sister!
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
Hi,I am new here
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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I Ave a bf we Ave never met but am hoping very soon we will meet,he normally ask 4 sex nd my nude pics bt i normally change it 4 him Nd I really love him....should i send it or i should not....plzzzz I need Ur advice 4 diz
Hi big sister n big sprinsters i am d nicheola u used to know my phone was mad so i missed so much,now have changed to Ashley its gud to be back home
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
hi guys, am new here, pls may u welcome me..!
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
Good idea
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
Hello friends am new here,I want to ask a question is it good to suck dick and also drink the sparm please I need an advice
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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yea it gud 2 suck dick, it makes ur guy feel gud buh dnt drink d sperm
Please I don't have a boyfriend cos I don't have any guy that has ever approached me maybe because I have small breasts and small buttocks. What can I do because my friends have boyfriends
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Don't say because ur friends have boyfriends u also want to have ...nobody is born without a guy u r gonna get married to...ur shape did not mean u cannot have a guy wu will approach u,and don't let a guy love u bcus of ur shape,beauty will fade BT love is forever..have confidence in urself and support ur friends wu av bf cuz urs is coming
Den yu're rig
Den yu're right
Hi everyone. As for me, I'm well curved with big boobs to the extent that all the guys at my estate wanna av sex wit me. What should I do?? 😦
I don't have one
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Do you wish to
I never wish to h
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
I never wish to have one
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
Hello!
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
big Sister thanks a lot but i never wosh
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
big Sister thanks a lot but i never wish to have one
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Hmmm........
Hello Big Sis, at one age can a girl have a boyfriend
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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Hmmmmmm boyfriend I don't think I can fall in love with any guy oooooo haha me I don't want some guys to kill me before my time but always wish to love for someone that loves me and cherish me, care and also have time for me and I know with time am hoping to find my but for now Hmmmm is to hard to fall in love with any guy
does heights matter in any relationship?
does heights matter in any relationship?
Relationship no b beans.it requires commitment n all,as 4 age 4 me frm sixteen.plus it is only 4 maturd mynds
Once you are matured.
18years
there's this guy I met on Facebook who is always disturbing me 4 a relationship but I have not met him before and my answer is no but he keeps disturbing me on fine plzz what should I do?😔🤧😵
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.
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So long as u r nt interestd dnt compromise,tel him u rnt interestd.rlationshp doesnt thrive on pity.if he insist den snub him.hope it helps .XOXO
now a days people are been killed as a result of online dating .some guys will tell you to come to their place:if they did not molest you they might end up killing you or remove some part of your body
It's not real Pink, it isnt . Stay away from that guy, I'm telling u this out of my own experience bar. Flee
U are right Clarie