Is it okay for a girl to ask a boy out?

Sharing your feeling is okay

Your thoughts (108)

Dear Big Sister,

There is a boy in my community who I really like. We are friends. I have known him for a long time now. I want to be more than friends with him. He is not asking me out and I don’t want to miss out on him. My friends say it is not normal to ask a boy out. They say it is the duty of boys to ask girls out. They say it will me make me look cheap.

Now I don’t know what to do. Is it okay for me to ask him out?

Hope to hear from you seriously
Helen.


Dear Helen,
Sincerely there is no straight answer to this question.

We are from the part of the world where it is seen as the responsibility of a boy to ask a girl out. And so a girl asking a boy out can be seen as inappropriate. So it can be a bit of a shocker for some boys when girls ask them out.

But these views are also changing and some boys do accept girls as equals and so their reaction may not be what you are used to. There is also the option of him accepting it. He might see you as someone who is confident. Someone who knows what she wants. This can make him admire you

That type of boy though it may be rare is a keeper. How do you find him? Look out for signs of if he seems open to a girl who is confident and has her own mind and he respects your mind and opinions.

If he is not matured enough he might make fun of you for asking him out or tell others.. If he’s this kind of a boy then honestly you have dodged a bullet. You may be hurt at first but also ask yourself why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate your confidence?

At the end of the day it is all up to you if you want to take that chance.

Also before you take steps to enter a relationship you should ask yourself some honest questions like am I really ready for a relationship? Am I bold enough to ask him? What if he laughs at me or mocks me can I handle it?

You need to prepare yourself for whatever response you might get from him. You may also want to speak to a trusted adult about this and remember, if he mocks you, don’t let this change who you are, which is a confident girl!

All the best girl.

Yours sincerely,
Big sister.

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Your thoughts

yah big sis, i have been in this situation before, when i was still in school, i had this crush on my head girl at that time, and i was an introvert. one day unexpectedly she broke the ice and asked me out.that was the last time we spoke, cause i started avoiding her,it was't funny really but as maturity kicked in it became clear to me that, it took courage for her to make the first move.that was then. my point is,that girls can also brake the ice, i know in nigerian its considered being cheap,but it isnt. if you know what you want go for it.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey kassidy! You are very correct! In this part of the world, it is seen as strange. Just like you, so many other guys will see this as strange and weird and may even turn down the girl. It really takes a lot for a girl to do this. Thanks for this insight, we appreciate it.

HEY BIG SIS, ND GOOD DAY 2 U KASSIDY, PLS DON'T B OFFENDED BIG SIS ND KASSIDY IN AS MUCH AS WE DON'T SHARE PERSONAL INFORMATION HERE,PLS PARDON ME. PLS KASSIDY I THINK I KNOW U, CAN U PLS INTRODUCE UR SELF, LK WHR U STAY OR AGE E.T.C., TO CLEAR UP MY CONSCIENENCE. PLS.....

Hi springsters and good evening, from most of the comments I have realized that a great number of new Springsters are here, I will like to say welcome to you all and am so glad about this.I've not been active in this platform but I promise I will. Please I need u guys to pray for me my junior BECE will soon take place and it is on my birthday which is 5th June, I've been studying really hard. I love that Idea made by Heather about an anthem it's great. Happy Children's day in advance to everyone here I pray that your parents will love u all and u will also make them proud. Big sister I really miss u and Misty I pray that God will give u good health and everyone here.♡♡♥♡♥♡ xoxo Fortune

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey Fortune! Long time no see your comment. We missed a lot here and we are sure Misty missed you more. Good to have you back.

obilor is dat u?

I'm sorry but I'm not obilor

i do not c anything rong 4 a gal 2 ask a boy out... <h>love speak strong

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

really strange,but i don't it kudos bad for a girl to ask boy out

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

In Nigeria here or let me say in Africa as z continent is something people see especially the adult as bad.... A girl that ask a guy out is not bad but forcing yourself on the guy is the worst. If you tell the guy you like him and he didn't like you back pls leave him, know that he is not the one meant for you.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Is not a crime to ask a guy how, as long as you understand his feeling for you and not just to embarrass yourself

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

don't mind what people will say is better to be laughed at than to die in silent so go on and express your self to him but before u do that first no what he loves doing most fellow him to do same Always be by his side

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

yeah is true my dear

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Big sis it kind of awkward ,to me I feel he will see u as a cheap girl .ok fine when u guys start dating he will b feeling too important cos u approached him

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey Twinka! Well, this is your personal opinion and only an immature guy will think that way. However, if you are not comfortable with it, do not do it. We hope this helps

I think its owk for a gal to ask a boy out,cause my first gf she is d one dat asked me out nd we started dating,so I tink its cool.nd Helen is nt abt been cheap but u are fighting for wat u want tanks....

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Nothing bad at all. You can ask him, if the get he'll know that before girl can come to a man say I like you, he'll know that the girl like him more than anything.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Hello just joined and am happy with the comments here sure it not bad for a girl to ask a boy out but it depends on if the boy loves or like u back because most people are not matured so asking a boy out first I think u should find out if he has any interest in u to save yourself from embarrassment thank u

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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nice speech

hi just joined new am happy that a girl can ask a boy out

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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its good to have u daniela.

yes daniella

very okay

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Yes, is right to do so.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

to me its owk to ask a guy out its no big deal

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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why did u say that

hey guys am new here hope am welcomed

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

No,its not proper to ask a boy out

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

I don't see any reason in asking boy out afterall we're all humans'

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

I don't see asking boy out as a bad thing afterall we're all humans'

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Its nt advice able

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

it's a normal thing as long as we both breath

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Nice one i luv dat

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

I love u Big sis!!

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Love you too blackgold!

I luv that big sister

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

CALIDION am sorry i took so long to reply to your message, i have been really busy lately..cali am in abuja am not sure you know me trust me..

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey Kassidy! This is a group that inspires and encourages girls in Nigeria. Requesting for personal information and also sharing personal information is not allowed on this platform. We know you are frequent on this platform and you should know the rules. Please, you are not allowed to share even as little as your location on this page. Thanks for understanding

aiit sorry about that.

Morning big sis am new here and I want to share my own opinion I don't think it's right for a girl to ask a boy out that's disrespectful cus should Incase anything should happen between the two of them he will say to her..at first I didn't ask u out u did... And before you know he will start casting her..

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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thats thats just your own perspective on the issue, when your old enough you will get to understand. relationship aint about who made the first move, saying that "the guy will leter say after all u asked out first"just shows how imature he is.......just cause he is a boy dosnt mean he gets to call the shot,in the western world women propose to men too, not because they are cheap but because they know that women also has a say in the society.....dont grow with that mentality, if you see what u want go for it.

To me, there's nothing bad in girls asking guys out, it is good because the guy might even love her but don't have the confident of approching a lady, so if it happen like that the girl can do the wooling

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

There is nothing wrong with that ,after all it"s not a crime to express one's feelings ´so we shouldn't leave it for guys alone to do it. Thanks.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

nice advice big sis remember that women pay bride price for de men in india xo dont b shy pull de trigger girl.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

I don't think is a problem, why because as well as the men are respected like wise also the women should be also be respected, as for my view its time for all women to " TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORN! you can't expect to be laid away with feelings within your heart, at end leading to some circumstances, I believe feelings should not be hiding away! sey it out its a free world....no harm Doing!

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Personally to me, it isn't a bad idea for a girl to ask a boy out although here in Africa, ideologies are different so are people. The end part is you need to know the kind of person the boy is before you shoot your shot.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Is not ryt

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Hello please I really need ur help ,there's this friend of mine,we have been friends for 7month now and he's normally telln me he loves me and I also felt d same too but don't want him to know about it because each time we come in contact with each other d only thing he always say is that he misses me and that he loves being around me but i still don't just understand why he's not opening up to me when we are together but online. Please I need advice should I open up to him instead.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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According to what you typed here ,you said feel the same way too so if i may ask you ,have you seen him physically before?

Hey Debbie! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision and it is up to you to make. We cannot tell you what you what to do at this point. We hope this helps

When a guy love u he will only appreciate things u do lyk ur dressing, hair, etc. To me it 50/50 ( he might mean it/ he might not)

When a guy love u he will only appreciate things u do lyk ur dressing, hair, etc. To me it 50/50 ( he might mean it/ he might not)

I strongly believe that some ladies will say it's not right ,don't worry keep waiting for guys to first make a move ok ,you will become the land lady of your father's compound.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Must guys all be the one to make a move ,we should change our mentality and think straight ok.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

To me sis, z not bad at all for a gal to ask a boy out If u have feelings for him, y nt. Afterall, it is said that when u luv sumone u should b bold to walk to him or her and tell her ur feelings

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Nice one there dear@ Hilda.

good of you

Thanks guys

Hey Helen, to add to what big sister had already said... the Best option is to get closest... find out a girl he talks to....make him hear the news from other means rather than your end... if you ask him out yourself you've put yourself on a 50/50 scale he might Accept you but see you as a cheap Lady... orrr Accept you Sincerely ( this can only happen when he already was nurturing a feeling for you already)... _______________ George.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Ok ,nice one there too.

Tanks for d answer big sis though m new but ive learned alot

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey Bestie! Thanks a lot for sharing this with us. We are glad and happy to have you here. Feel free to share this page with your friends. We hope this helps

it is right

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

It is right big sis

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Big sis, i really find it hard to start a conversation with a guy, i feel lky he will call me a cheap girl for asking him out, there was dis guy i lky a lot, but nt anymore each tym i go close to him or him cum close to me my heart will start beating faster. And nt only him whenever a guy approches me i start sweating alot and have no other option than to walk out even de once i lky.So hw i am gonna start a conversation with boys and to be sincere i lky boys alot.

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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Hey prescott! Thanks for the comment. There is really no big deal with starting conversations with guys. You need to understand that they are just regular guys and you should not be scared of them. You can just start by saying "Hi". That doesn't make you cheap neither does it make you desperate. You should not even ask a guy that you do not really know well ask. So, say hi and get to know them very well. We hope this helps

is okay

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Hi big sis there is a girl in my place of work very pretty and beautiful.she is bearing my elder sis name i usually call her anty she call me young.i knw she have passion for me we are very close when ever she went she cut flower by our gate and give me signifying she has something in mind toward me, and i also has it. when she give the flower l collect and thank her.so this morning when l came to work i meet her seating down and l greet her as normal and she answered .after all she said she is sick,what wrong anty?i question her?she said am sick of love and only my lover can give her medicine,ok said l.i kept quiet,and she just stand up and went out to the gate,a little bit l felt her coming in so i turn to see her coming and i saw with flower,she came direct and give me the flower l collected it and said to her i love you.then she said thank you,i said you are welcome.till this afternoon she have been acting so strange to me.so pls what should i do nw?mind you i said i have something in mind toward he.l want us to be more than friends.but how?

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. The solution to this is between the both of you. It is a good thing that you guys already talk so it will be easier to have this conversation with her. You both need to define what it is that you both feel for each other and you really should be mature about it. Also, you need to consider the fact that you are both at work and be conscious of the fact that you are not meant to allow your personal feelings to get in between your work. You also need to be sure that your office does not have a problem with it because some offices do not allow such. We hope this helps

Hi big sister, please teach me how to freed myself from relationship like I ain't like to be in anything, I just want to live my life alone

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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Hey Young_007! Thanks for the comment. There is no manual on how to be alone. You have to make up your mind that you are not ready for a relationship so that when anyone comes around you, you will not even be tempted to break that rule. This has to do with self-discipline. We hope this helps

Wow big sis na na wah oh

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Hi big sis,i fall in love with a girl and anytime i want to express my feeling to her, i usually fell discourage. So what can i do now?

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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Hey dan! Thanks for the comment. First of all, what makes you think that you love her? Do you know her well enough to love her? You may just have a crush on her and you are mistaking it for love. You cannot love someone you do not know personally. We hope this helps

i also had dsame xperience

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

I love the courage of a woman asking a boy out.

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Dats it ighalo

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Dats okay

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

hi everyone do you guys know why so guys feel that way when the girl makes the first move?is because they are afraid that they would lose their respect as a man that it is not because they feel the girl is cheap oya OK if the girls are cheap for making the first move then the guy has always been cheap for asking the girls out,some boys are very proud and happy for girls when they see a girl they really love approaches them sometimes they don't know how to make the first so when a girl ask a boy out is not bad but the society we live have made it a norm that is the duty of a guy to make the first move but together we can Change that mindset of the society thank you.

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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Hey jbaby ur rit abt that it time to change it ur welcome pls drop ur username on fb for me here i will add u up

Hello dear it will be good to make the first move and I know the guy will admire your act of courage and like you more for it

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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exactly dear

yes its ok

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

Yes now

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

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hi Ksman,welcome to the forum.

Its normal for everyone to say its OK But I would like us to know something I know ladies are so fragile and emotional But I think every lady should pride themselves Going to a guy to ask him out? Think about this... And the guy starts seeing it that he is doing you a favour being in your life, therefore starts misbehaving and taking you for granted see ladies... Its the man that finds a wife not a wife that finds a man. The man marries the woman and not the other way round Am a guy and I respect every lady but it burns my heart to see that ladies allows guys play with their emotions which is very wrong... See ladies you are special let the man come for you pray for him to come not you going to meet him you are so special pride yourselves you are not cheap don't let your emotions bring you less than your standards... YOU ARE A LADY, AND THAT ALONE MAKES YOU SPECIAL TO THE MAN... am holymouth and I just wanna impact my generation positively...

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

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Hi holy mouth u are welcome to the platform.I want to say something it is not a crime for a Lady to ask a guy out, OK let me say for instance u are a Lady and u are in love with a cute guy and u don't know if he likes u or not or maybe he likes u but he don't know what to do and u have made up ur mind to confess ur love to him or ask him out,and when u asked him out he accepted, how will u feel,when u what to confess ur love for someone will u think about what the society will say no,even if a girl asks a boy out or just hide the feelings within her the society must find one thing to say so,I stop here and I want to give every girl on earth a little piece of advice if u love someone always be courageous to tell the person cause there is no crime in trying if he insults or take u for ungranted then quit cause u are special and wonderfully made,thanks.

if a girl ask me out and I found out she is responsible and committed...like seriously, I would never for once take advantage of that or bully her one way or another...I will love her wholeheartedly cos she is ready to show me true love and I'd appreciate that...I love girls but am shy

it's not a crime the girl will be dying in love nd that will lead to obsession

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

Yeah

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

I ASK A BOY OUT

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

like seriously, I would appreciate when a girl ask me out. looking out for that cos am a shy type

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

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so you are telling me that you cant ask a girl out ,hunnn,can we be friends

sure ironlady.

If you love him walk up to him

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

Dear big sis. am confused. coz there is this particular guy i have been crushing on for 2yrs now. n the worst part is that he is in luv with me too. n we r stil on it coz dnt knw who will make the first move. now wher m exactly confused is that i think it should be the guy that will speak out or wht? .......

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

Dear big sis. am confused. coz there is this particular guy i have been crushing on for 2yrs now. n the worst part is that he is in luv with me too. n we r stil on it coz dnt knw who will make the first move. now wher m exactly confused is that i think it should be the guy that will speak out or wht? .......

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

Pls every here ,I real need your help on this because am really confused and i don't really know what to do. I have this problem I have bn battlelling with and some time I just feel like committing suicide ,it's a big problem and it goes like this. My problem is that any time I see a girl /lady I really love and I approach her ,she will turn me down and this problem have bn there for a very London time now with out solution ,am confused ,no one to talk to ,no one to discuss my personal life with ,no intimate close with anyone and after passing through a very hectic day ,no one to tell me or call me and ask me how do I feel ,am tired and I do see guys and ladies together loving each other is not that am jealous or what ever but am just wishing I also have someone to call and tell I love you and feel the way I feel too. In my own little way ,am good looking and am a graduate and apart from that ,I have hand work also. Pls ,am seriously weary and i hide my tears in public but in my inner close ,i weep like no tomorrow but i just discover this place and I feel like talking to us all. Pls advise me ,am pleading with you all am 28yrs pls now. Thanks ,am waiting.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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sorry for what you are passing through,i only have one piece of advise ,God's time is the best,may be those lady you have been asking out are not your woman , and mark my words very soon you'll find the lady,she'll be different ,yes you will feel it when you meet her. definately you 'll love her ,and she will say yes. and pray always so that your spirit move closer

Hello Xinxin, So sorry about what you are going through but please do not do anything that will harm you as this will not help you find a partner. It is better to think of doing things that will help you find a girl that will love you like joining new clubs or groups to meet more people. You can also spend the time doing more of the things that you like and that will make you more interesting to people like reading or playing sports. Many people say they found their partners when they were not looking for them so it could also help if you just live your life without thinking about this all the time. You may just be surprised with the right person out of nowhere. We hope this helps.

please just let the friendship continue. Telling him can cause two things 1. he may like you back 2. he may not and probably stop talking to you. Trust me girl you will find some that will like you, and not you liking them first

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

What if a girl keep staring at you , what does it mean...

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hi kingsley! If a girl stares at u it could mean nothing u know, so don't take such stuffs to heart, we could be friends if u wish.

Hey Kingsley! Thanks for the comment. Someone staring at you is does not necessarily have to mean anything. We hope this helps

Men is nothing most of the time, it doesn't actually show anything is normal

Please everyone I need your advice, a friend of mine walk up to a girl so they where talking so when it got to the stage if asking for her number my friend came to me and he collected my phone,so he saved the girl's number on my phone, so after the day past,the girl came back to challenge me that I was one who sent my friend to ask for her number(which wasn't true)I tried to explain to her buh didn't believe me, now she's saying that if I really want her I should ask her out myself. Now am confused don't know what to do...... Please I really need advice

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

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Hey Opzzy9! Thanks for the comment. There is no need to be confused. You know you didn't send your friend to ask for her number so do not let her try to make you feel bad. Besides, there was never a conversation about you asking her out from the beginning. You know the truth, tell her and if she doesn't believe you, it's fine. We hope this helps

A girl that you dont know keeps looking at you every day that she sees you sometimes wave at you plz what does that mean

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.