Married young

…But still achieving my dreams

Married young

My name is Ruth and I am a young bride! After completing my secondary school education, my parents found me a suitor and I got married.

At first, it was fun, but then my life turned to a routine: waking up, preparing my husband for work, doing house chores, eating and then going to sleep.

* “Is this how the rest of my life is going to be or can I still fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher?”* I always thought to myself

One evening after dinner, I took my husband to a spot we both like. I told him about my desire to pursue a career in teaching. He refused saying it would be too much work for me to handle. The conversation got difficult and we couldn’t come to an agreement. I decided not to raise my voice or continue with the argument.

I decided to ask my mother for advice.

My mum said to me marriage is not a bed of roses. Sometimes people do not agree with one another, especially when it comes to women pursuing their dreams. However it shouldn’t stop you from talking about it.

She advised me to find a way to make my husband see the benefits of me achieving my dreams. For example, I can support our family financially. I’d also be able to understand his work stresses better, and give him better advice. Also since we’d both be earning an income we could put some money aside to save for our family’s future.

My mother gave me these three tips for having difficult conversations;

1. Make sure you are in a quiet space.

2. Start with a topic everyone is interested in to ease the conversation.

3. Clearly explain your point. Remember not to raise your voice if the discussion doesn’t go as planned.

I took my mother’s advice. I spoke to my husband. My husband seemed open to the idea of me teaching. He said he’ll think about it. After sometime, he changed his mind, and supported me fully!

Now I know that if you have a dream you can still achieve it even after marriage. You just have to find the right person to advice and support you.

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