Not ready to date?

Learn how Idayat turned down a toaster

Not ready to date?

Idayat was 18 years old the first time a man asked for her hand in marriage. The day it happened she was on her way to the shop where she sold food.

The man in question was not a stranger. He was a businessman that owned a supermarket on her street. When he stopped her that day to talk her she had no idea what he wanted to say until he said;

"Idayat for weeks now I have been observing you. You are a really smart and beautiful young lady. I see how hardworking you are. I admire you so much. I like the fact that you make money unlike girls your age who beg for money from people. I really will like to know you better. If you let me I will like to make you my girlfriend and then wife in future."

Idayat replied him by saying; "Thanks for admiring me. But I am not interested."

He tried to persuade her but she said; "Sir, I am not ready to get married. I am too young for that. I don’t want a boyfriend either. I don’t want to experience all the drama and emotional stuff that comes with a relationship. Right now, I want to focus on my business. I need to help my single mother. I don’t want anything to hold me back."

This did not stop him from disturbing her. Once or twice he tried to stop her on the street to declare his love.

And then one day he showed up at her house. He had come to see Idayat’s mother. He came to declare his interest. He promised to marry her and take care of her. Her mum believed him.

Afterwards, she asked Idayat to date him. She said he was a successful man from a good family. She told her how lucky she was to have gotten the attention of such a big man. But that didn’t change Idayat’s mind.

But her mum insisted.

So she started to tolerate him. For months, she pretended to like him. At a point she started to give him the silent treatment. Her mum noticed the behaviour and cautioned her.

Idayat begged her mum not to let her marry him. She told her mum she didn’t like him. They had nothing in common. She told her mum how unhappy she was with him. She even mentioned that an early marriage would hold her back.

Luckily, she was able to convince her mum. Her mum gave her the permission to end the relationship.

She had a conversation with him. She told him she was not interested and only led him on because she was been forced.

He felt hurt and disappointed. She apologized for her action before breaking off the relationship.

Today Idayat is focused on growing her business. She has learnt the importance of speaking out.

Are you in the same situation as Idayat? Are you being pressured by friends or family to date someone?

Speaking out might be able to help. Tell them how you feel. Let them understand your interest. It is your choice to make.

Are you being pressured by an older person? Look for a trusted older person to speak to them. They might just listen to them.

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  • Money
  • Relationship
  • Family