Banke’s break up story
2 months ago, Banke broke up with her boyfriend. She never imagined a day like that would come.
They were the perfect couple. But there was one problem.
He wanted to move things to the next level. Banke wasn’t ready to have sex.
She wanted to wait. She didn’t want to end up pregnant. And she had heard about girls that got an infection from having sex. Banke just didn’t feel mature enough to deal with everything that comes along with having sex.
She told him her fears. But he just told her not to worry. He said all their friends were already doing it. And that if she really cared about him she would do it.
Banke stood her ground, she was going to wait. So, he threatened to break up with her.
She begged him to give her time to think about it.
She was confused and needed to speak to someone. And so, she opened up to her older cousin.
Her cousin gave her some great advice:
"Banke, when it comes to sex only you can decide the right time for you. Think about the things that can happen if you decide not to wait. You can also read this article on can I get pregnant now? to know more.
Are you ready for all that? If you don’t feel ready, your boyfriend needs to respect your decision. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want to.
You know, sex is not the only way to show you love someone. Being supportive, writing love letters, or even helping out your partner when they need help are some of the other ways to show love. Your boyfriend needs to know this.
And so, if he really cares about you then he will wait. But, if he’s not ready to wait, then maybe he’s not the right guy for you. I know it might be hard to let him go, but it’s better to find someone who loves you enough to wait."
Banke knew her cousin was right. She did not want a boyfriend who would push her to do anything she was not comfortable with. She wanted someone who shared the same values. She had a long talk with her boyfriend. He kept insisting that it was time for them to have sex. So Banke made the decision to walk away. It was hard, but she knew it was the right thing for her.
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Big sister, I have broken up with so many guys in the past because all they desire was someone who will be there sex machine I'm not ready for that!, You know it so much irritates me when my friends talk about sex as a normal thing , it's not a normal thing I was sexually abused when I was a little kid and the the truma is still there! Kudos to you BIG SIS for this kind of platform , it Breaks my heart when I see young lady been misled by Men Anyone who is not ready to wait till you are ready doesn't worth the Headache! And don't try to keep any man by giving him sex, bcoz if you do he will tink d only tin u can offer is sex, We have great potentials dt r beyond d bed! Gracia!
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey Blessed! Thanks for the comment. It can be really hard to get over sexual abuse so we totally understand how you feel right now. You are very correct girl, you cannot keep a man with sex. We will have to refer you to a professional that can help you get over the trauma. You need it and we really want you to heal. There is a Child Advocacy Center where they help and give professional advice to young people in situations like this on what they can do to be safe. You can call them on 08 00 80 080 01. This service is completely confidential - which means they won't share what you say to them with other people. It is free which means you don’t not need to have credit before you call them. We hope this helps
My bf broke up with me because of some other girl years back and now he's wanting me back.....I'm confused if I should accept cause to me the feelings is Dead towards him
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey Karin! Thanks for the comment. He left you for another girl so he obviously does not deserve to come back to you. You really should not be confused because you have already said that your feelings are dead towards him and so that is where you answer is. We hope this helps
Big sister i break up with some i love so much,because he said i was cheating when i was not
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
hi big sis...that Is The Problem Am Having Right Now my Boyfriend Insists That We Should Have sex Together and I Told Him An Not Ready For It But Anytime I Think Of It I Don't Want To do It...Plllssss help Of Out what Should I Do
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey HAD! Thanks for the comment. No one should force you or make you to have sex with them when you are not interested in it. Sex is a personal decision and the moment you say NO, he is not even meant to argue because you have a right to say NO. If he loves you like he claims, he will respect your decision and not try force you to have sex with him. If he still insists then he does not have feelings for you and obviously does not deserve you. Sex is not the basis of any relationship because it is not love. We hope this helps
hi big sis...my girlfriend, force me to have sex with her,should i have sex or not
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Latest Reply
its your choice to make
Hey christ! Thanks for the comment. NO ONE should ever be forced to have sex. As long as you do not want it, tell her NO! Boys are also under pressure for sex and they feel compelled to do it. Sex is not by force. Tell her that you are not interested and leave it that way. You also need to talk to a trusted adult about this. We hope this helps
Yes! Something apart from asking for sex happened. He was always deciding what I should wear,he always talks about it everytime we get to meet. He says things like "Why aren't you putting on earrings,"Why did you wear gown"and this makes me feel embarrassed everytime but I stood my ground and broke up with him because if he truly loves me as he claims he wouldn't complain everytime about what I wear
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Yessss Deronke! You are the realest! No one should make you feel less of yourself and talk you down. You did the right thing girl and we are very proud of you. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Why do i keep falling love wit my relatives and it now look like am related to every body and i even had sex wit one of them
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey Krisly! Thanks for the comment. In this part of the world, that is seen as incest. It is totally unacceptable. Falling in love with and also having sex with them is not even the right thing to do. Please, we do not encourage this at all because we come from a part of the world where this is seen as a crime. Please note that family members are out of bounds. We hope this helps
I've been dating this guy for like a yr but i travelled to live stay with my grandmother 2months into the relationship. We maintain communication but my dad doesnt want me to go back home and the long distance relationship is not really working for me. Should i break up with the guy even though i love him?
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey Prechy! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision and it is up to you to make. You need to think about it properly and both you and the guy need to talk about this long distance relationship. We cannot tell you what to do at this point so advise that you think it through well before you make up your mind. We hope this helps
yes. My boyfriend and i were the closest and most envied couple but he began to move too quickly. First, he asked for romance and i did that, second,he asked me to blowjob him all the time,i didnt feel comfortable but i pleased. He did all sorts of things with me,he played with my breast,vagina until he asked for sex,i knew he was gonna ask for that so i was prepared and i broke up with him
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey nene! Thanks for sharing this with us. We are glad you did not let him push you beyond limit. A lot of times, girls have settled to do things they are not ready for especially sex. We are glad you did not let it get beyond this level.
Sorry what's the meaning of 'blowjob'?
am a girl of 15 yrs a day like this my bestie ( girl ) visited and at a time she seduced me to kissing her and tried having sex with me but am a Virgin I never knew she is a lesbian since that day u keep on having feelings for girls
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey spunky! Thanks for the comment. You keep on playing the events of that day in your head and you find it hard to get your mind off it. We advise that you take your time before you conclude on this being what you want because one experience is not enough to conclude that you prefer girls to boys. Take your time and do not conclude. We hope this helps
Hey BIG SIS! I'm a guy and my girlfriend is very much younger than I am. I only hug and kiss her, and whenever I kiss her she feel somehow, and as a result of that, she wouldn't let me even get an handshake from her. She is my landlord's daughter and I really want to marry her. How can I win her heart totally that no other man can take her away from me. Because I will vacate their house by next year because I will soon finish my OND Programme and she is still in ss2. She has already told her mummy about our relationship and she is pleased. But I am afraid if she will still love me even without seeing me.
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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Hey Quintessence! Thanks for the comment. Kissing and hugging are not the ways to show love and neither are these the way to win her heart. You need to first of all learn how to trust her and also get over the trust issues. The major reason why you feel this way is because you do not trust her. If you both are dedicated to the relationship, it will work. We hope this helps
it as happen to me before,wen my boxwfrnd waz asking of dis and am nt intrested i had to quit...
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Yea, I also broke up wit him becos my bf is a sex addict (He loves sex ehn!) nd I was nt ready for sex stuffs. Big sis was I right by breaking up with him?
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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Hey fabiana! Thanks for the comment. Yes girl! You did the right thing and we are proud of you. We hope this helps
Hello Fabiana, You did the right thing by breaking up with him, is not good to be in a relationship that does not give you happiness or you are not deriving joy from. Also since you are not comfortable with his attitude and you are not interested in sex stuff or ready to have sex.
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
I caught my boyfriend cheating on me, so what are the cause of the chat?
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey Kassandra! Thanks for the comment. You need to end that relationship immediately because you deserve better than him. There is no need to ask questions about what could be the cause because the truth is that he does not respect you. You need to move on... we know it can be hard but this is the way to go. Big sister will always be here for you okay? We hope this helps
Big sis I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me,so I decided to ask him if he was truely cheating on me.After so much questions I found out he was dating the two of us at the same time.That was why I broke up wit him, I thought what I did was'nt right, so felt like talking to a friend, after telling her everything, she said what I did was wrong.I did'nt believe her so I talked to other of my frnds they told me what I did was wrong.So I decided opening up to you, to ask if what I did was wrong please big sis I need ur help
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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Hey Favvy! Thanks for the comment. No girl, you did nothing wrong. In fact, what you did was the best thing! You should never settle for someone that does not value you. Why should you remain in a relationship with someone that feels the need to be with someone else? Do not let anyone make you feel like you did something wrong girl... If you had asked big sister before doing it, trust that we would have advised you to leave him. So, do not feel bad okay? We hope this helps
I want to break up with my boyfriend I'm tired of dating with him he didn't offend anything but he refused accept that I wanted to break up with him . what should I do ?
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Big sis, I recently broke up with my boyfriend. Reason is he doesn't really talk to me and we are always having a one-sided conversation. I think he loves me but its depressing when he doesn't respond at all or the way I want. Was I wrong?
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hello Anon, It is possible for you boyfriend to love you but still be quiet if that is his personality. Do you think he is also quiet with other people and friends or does he talk to them and not you. If he is the same with everyone then maybe it is his personality. And he may not be able to change even when he tries. In that case, you need to decide if you are okay with dating a quiet person and doing most of the talking. Love is not everything, sometimes people who love each other do not work out because their personalities do not match. You need to ask yourself some tough questions to decide if you made the right decision or not. We hope this helps.
Big sister... Am definitely using all courage to say this out... Good day my boyfriend broke up with me of recent and his reason being that he is scared of my illness ... I am down right broken because I actually thought he accepted me for who I was ... I would like to know ways or methods which I could use to get right back like bounce back for myself and my education and goals cause that's all that matters ...cause I don't want to sulk in depression ...
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry to hear about this. We understand how hard it is to get over break ups. Trust me, we have all been there... even big sister so it is totally easy to relate. The truth is that he never really valued you and that is why he chose to end the relationship. Trust me, he doesn't deserve you because if he did, he will appreciate you more. Darling, please know that Mr Right will come soon but do not be in a hurry. You need to learn to love yourself and know that no guy is in control of your happiness okay? So you can get over him by challenging yourself to be better in school, or to be a better daughter or friend. Big sister is always here for you. We hope this helps
I broke up with my boyfriend bcoz he went out with another girl . We both still have feelings for each other but i can't trust him anymore
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
well I need my boyfriend has no issue it's just that I will be going to the higher institution in a different state from him and I'm not a fan of long distance relationships ,he said he loves me and he wants to have a serious relationship with me and he knows he has done some bad things behind my back,ND he refused to break up with me he said I should break up with him cause he doesn't want to hurt me, please help me I don't know what to do should I continue with the relationship cause I really love him but I don't trust him
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
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You can't be in a relationship with someone you don't trust...what you have for him for is not love..if truly love him then you have to trust him...a good relationship should start with trust...
It's Actually a Question. I had sex with this cute innocent girl in 2017. She later secretly told someone who was close to me. That didn't really bug me. What happened was that while at the peak of sex her virgina started hissing out loudly for almost an hour and she was so emotional and clinged tight to me till it subsided. Why did that happen? And is it good? When I discussed with friends they said that she had multiple orgasm which made her run empty of orgasms,and knocked her Out. The second girl had a virginal drop jaw!.please let me know if I am okay.