How do you say no

Follow these 3 steps

Your thoughts (75)

Hey girl!

Peer pressure can be so real! Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t want to do something, but did it anyway, just because everyone else was doing it? Well guess what? We’ve all been there! Learning to say NO is not an easy task but it’s a skill we can all build and practise.

Step 1 – Avoid putting yourself in difficult situations

Let’s say you’re not ready to have sex but a boy is inviting you to his house to “hang out” late at night. You know he’s interested in having sex but you aren’t ready to do so. What do you do?

A: Go to his house late at night
B: Say NO and ask to meet in a public place

The right answer is Option B! If you can avoid difficult situations, then avoid them. Regret is not a nice feeling, so if we can avoid it by making good decisions in the first place then that’s a step in the right direction. Don’t hangout with people who make you feel uncomfortable or pressure you to do things you’re not ready to do.

Step 2 – Think of the consequences of your actions

When you’re about to say YES or NO to a decision, don’t just act on your emotions. Spend time to think things through and think about what will happen after your decision. If you’re happy with the end result, then great. But if you’re not comfortable with how things might end up, then be strong and brave enough to say NO and turn away.

For example, there are emotional risks of having sex early, like regret, anxiety and confusion. You could also get pregnant if you do not use protection. So if you’re not ready to handle this, saying NO is the smart thing to do.

Step 3 – Speak up and stand up for yourself

Your voice matters. Your opinions matter. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. You have the power of choice to decide what to do with your life. So stay true to yourself.

Let’s imagine you went for option A and went to the boys house late at night. If he asks you to have sex and you don’t want to, you have every right to say NO.

It’s your body so it’s your choice. Just because you go to his house does not give him permission to have sex with you.

Standing up for what you believe in is important. Don’t be silent if something doesn’t seem right to you.

Saying NO might be difficult, but it’s important to stand up for yourself and only do what feels right to you.

Want to read more inspiring stories like this one? Then head to our Springster Facebook page and connect with a community of girls just like you! - https://www.facebook.com/heyspringster

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Your thoughts

like me now.my aunty husband want me to make love to him .i said No with seriousness

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey martina! Thanks for the comment. Okay, this is a serious issue and we are so happy that you said NO immediately. However, you need to talk to a trusted adult about this immediately. If you do not have a trusted adult to talk to, there is an organization called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including sex and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything.

how do I say no to elderly men asking for my phone number

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hadassah,be smart then main thing that affect teenagers is 'No' as a word and very easy to say there is no compulsion in decision tell your mother about it or elder sister and when every he ask next tell him u don't have phone or u find simple thing to say that will make him know that your number is not a negotiate properties. thank you.

Hey Hadassah! Thanks for the comment. Like abk_premium said, you should say NO to him. It is your phone number and you have a right to choose who you want to give them to or not. So you do not owe it to him. Just remember to be polite when you tell him NO. Thanks for the advice abk_premium, we appreciate your help.

hello, I am new here.

Yeah... Ah think what she did was very right. Ah just wish guys would listen nd stop putting pressure on us.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

I had a problem with my keyboard Teacher He invited me to his house and tried lurring me into having sex with him I told him no several times but he didnt listen he forced me to bed and used his strength to pin me down Will i get pregnant??

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Fizt! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about what you went through. We understand that you are worried about not getting pregnant but the most important thing you need to do right now is to talk to a trusted adult about this. You need someone that you can confide in that won't judge you and also someone that can guide you on next steps to take. Also, there is an organization called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything.

If u see ur period them prepared 2 be a mother

If u see ur period them prepared 2 be a mother

Thnx For Dis Tips I Hv Made A Big Mistake While My Ex Boyfriend Was Asking Me For Sex and I Could"nt Resist Bcos I Dont Know What To Do But Wit These Tips Now I Know How To Handle Issues Like Dat So Next Time I Would Say No.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey Twinkle! Thanks for the comment. We are glad you find this helpful. We hope this helps

my friend was touched by a guy on her boobs only..n he did all sort of things lyk pressing n sucking her boobs..but he didn't go beyond dat.But now my friend is feeling guilty..n she said she doesn't feel lyk a virgin anymore coz the guy touched her boobs..n she keeps on crying n blaming her self.pls how can I help her to stop blaming herself.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey precious! Thanks for the comment. Please tell your friend that the only way she can lose her virginity is if there was any form of penetration involved. If there wasn't, she is still a virgin. Also, was she forcefully touched by the guy? If she was, she needs to talk to a trusted adult immediately and report the guy. Also, there is an organization called 'Education as a Vaccine' who run a Helpline that you can call and find out everything you need to know about health issues, including menstruation and pregnancy. The number is 08 02 71 92 781 and it's free if you call from Airtel and open Monday to Friday from 9 till 5. It's completely confidential so you don't need to give your name or any details - you can just ask questions and get the support you need. Good luck with everything.

it happened dat i boarded a motorcycle home from church on a sunday.There is this man i met in the motorcycle,he's old enough to be my father.He was a kind of touching me then i shuned him.I hope i did not do something bad.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey bes_tie! No, you didn't do anything wrong. You did the right thing. Do not feel guilty for standing up for yourself. We hope this helps

big sis,hw would u say NO if a cultist is askin u 2 be his girl friend,and u know its dangerous 2 turn down his offer.it may result 2 being raped.i need ur help its 4 my bestfrnd.pls...

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey KIMMY! Thanks for the comment. We understand how tricky this can be but saying yes to a cultist just because you are worried about your safety is actually very risky. Your friend should talk to a trusted adult for guidance on this immediately. We hope this helps

Thanks a lot big sis

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

TNKS SIS

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

up coming tenage girls be bold to say no when a boy is asking you for sex, or when your friends are pesuading you to expirence sex say a louder No and disasociate with them imidiatly.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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that's actually d gospel truth.

You're right prince

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

yes,they should be bold enough to say "no" to what they dn't want to do

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

they should be able to make the right decision to certain things

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

my friend said "she did it then, and said it was not a big deal, cos she didn't off her pant and bra, and it doesn't mean they actually had sex. cos it was still remaining her pant and bra" but I told her, it was wrong either way. What advice do u think I should give to her.

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Judging her should not be the way to go. You can ask her why she did it and her plans going forward. If she does not have a concrete answer for you, then you can tell her that since she cannot give a reasonable answer, then she should not be doing it. We hope this helps

thank for dis it really help

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

A guy ask me to come to his house,but I turn d offer down but my close friend keep on pestering me to go,it look like it was panned by d two,I was pissed off so I shouted at her with d word no, rather she choice to keep malice with me,what should I do big sis

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey A.B.D! Thanks for comment. This is a personal decision for you to make but the truth is that you should not visit a guy in his house alone and if your friend is not happy that you refused to go to see the guy, then she really isn't your friend and you should be careful. Also, we advise you to talk to a trusted adult about this. We hope this helps

hi big sister am in a relationship bt am in love with someone else wat should i do

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey sofia! Distractions come a lot of times and we all need to know how to handle them. You need to be sure about what you feel about both of them. However, if you are convinced, you need to let both of them know about this. We hope this helps

Hey big sista.i ve some issues wit ma bst frnd.she cals me jealous weneva she wares makeup nd wen we re walking nd a guy say hi concentrating on ha she would become mean nd insulting on mean.i knw she fils proad abt it nd is like she is beta dan me.nd wil continue to shout at me anyhw nd say stupid tins to me .i was miserable nd sick already.buh she is sm1 am betaof dan buh i kept quiet da unlike me buh ah dnt no wat do i criously dnt.bfre dis incidents i rememba wan of maa online frnds actualy as me out sort ofdating buh i decline ndlater he meet ha nd is madova ha.he ask of ma hlp wic irendered buh said no buh she start misbehaving nd am nt sure dah dreason.rily ned advice pls

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey Nuswart! Thanks for the comment. First of all, a good friend will not talk down on you or insult you at any time talk less of when you both are in front of a guy. Secondly, she has no right to call you jealous because a guy came to talk to her. Thirdly, she is not better than you and you should not say that or even make her feel that way. We are all unique and different and so do not compare yourself to her or judge yourself on her standards too. The truth is that this girl is not your friend because she does not have your interest at heart. The final decision is up to you to make but this friendship is toxic. We hope this helps

Tanks big sis rily appreciate

hey big sister, am in a relationship but it not really serious because am not allowed to go out, so me and the guy don't see offen, but since when i mate this guy he wanted sex from me so badly to the extend any time i go to his house he always forces me to bed and i usually cry and beg him to stop it. but i have never had sex with him before but he really want to disvirgin me and he told me if i stop coming to his house ..that our relationship will end and i really love him i wanna try and change him so that he can be a better person.. big sis i need ur help

March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

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Hey Emy! Thanks for the comment. Please, do not let this guy put you under pressure. Sex is not love and so this means that he is only dating you because he wants to have sex with you. Girl, you deserve more than this. He cannot put you under this pressure because you own your body and so no one should give you conditions for your own body. If he loves you like he claims, he will respect your decision. Please and please, this guy is not even safe for you because he always tries to force you and that is already a crime. You need to end this relationship and make sure you avoid him seriously because you are not even safe around him. You also need to talk to a trusted adult about this too. You will get a better person that will respect you but for now, you deserve better than this guy. We hope this helps

Big sis am in a relationship and my bf wants sex and i dont want and later on i decided to do it on one condition that he will use condom and he said no what do i do? I really do love him i dont want to loose him pls

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Berry! Thanks for the comment. No one should force you to have sex with them when you are not ready for it. The fact that you compromised was wrong but him saying NO, is totally unacceptable! Please, you need to leave that relationship immediately. He is a very self-centered person. He is either trying to get you pregnant or give you a sexually transmitted disease or even HIV> He does not deserve you because he may eventually deny you afterwards. He is not worth the stress please. We hope this helps

Big sister I love a girl and she love me too but she is telling her girlfriend that she love me but the problem is that am from north side please what will I do please?

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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Hey Licky! Thanks for the comment. Being from the north cannot be a problem. Northerners are humans and you should not even start to see yourself as less because you are from the north. It just seems like you are looking for a problem because there isn't one. What you need to do is to be sure that you both love each other and not just a crush. There is a difference between love and crush but the truth is that you cannot love someone that you do not even know. You have to get to know her better because it doesn't seem like you do. We hope this helps

big sis I have a boyfriend which I love so much and I know he loves me too bt he alwz mention sex and I alwz say No BT I felt he is unhappy anytime I say no BT he can't tell me how he feel wen saying no and I dont want to loose him bex I love him what should I do

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. Your NO should be NO. Do not be moved by his "unhappiness". Having sex is a decision you have to make by yourself and you need to know that you are solely in charge of what you want to do because it is your body. As long as you are happy with this decision, that is all that matters. We hope this helps

Thanks the tips girl!

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

My friends keeps Pressurizing me to have a boyfriend but every time i say no they do threatens to beat me because am a Weakling

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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Hey Lovelyna! Thanks for the comment. Those are not your friends. No one has the right to force you to have a boyfriend talk less of threatening you. It is not a do or die affair to have a boyfriend. Now to start saying they will beat you means that you are with the wrong set of people. Please you need to first of all make them know that it is your decision to have a boyfriend and you won't do so until you are ready so they need to stop putting you under pressure. We hope this helps

big sis my boyfrnd Keeps pressurizing me 2 hv sex wit him an i dnt want 2.the fact is should i ascept or stick 2 my word.

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hey Preshizandy! Thanks for the comment. You need to stick to your word. No one should put you under pressure for sex. It is a personal decision for you to have sex and no one should be the one to influence that decision. If he loves you like he claims, he will respect your decision and not disturb you about this anymore. We hope this helps

Big sis my boyfriend said that what is the need of being my boyfriend if we do not have sex but i always say no that I would not have sex with someone who is not my husband that he should wait until we are married

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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The thing is that if he really loves you, he would accept your decision and respect your body well enough to stick to your answer

I and my boyfriend ave been dating for two years now without allowing him to sex me but now he is pestrating me he said he has tried and i dont want to have sex cos i dont want to disvirgin big sis wat should i do

March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.

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#DeePrincess That was exactly the same thing that has happen to me. also i and my girlfriend had been in a relationship for the past 3years without i sexing her but on 15th december, 2016 she's now allowing me to have sex with her later i asked "baby why was it getting so long like that to have it with you" she said it was because that was her chance for her get to know me more better.

the other way to say no is if I don't want to be in relationship with a guy, I can say no

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

I really want to join dis group but I don't know what to do.it is really interesting.

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

I am Dunni.I badly want to join dis group.I need help.pls.

March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.

Big sis,deres dis my class boy dat kept on persauding my friend to b his gurlfriend,she 2ld him 2 wait 4 sum days so she can think of accepting,d guy behaves in dis skakishaki way dat we dnt understand,but we 2ld d gurl not 2 accept cauz of hes behaviour, but leta we backed off cause she has d ryt to decide 4 her self.

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

thank u, it helps a lot!

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Helo. Alberta, hw are u doing, please can we be friends.

Hi Bayley, am good dear. Yes we can! Nice meeting u in Springster.

Hi dear, how are you doing.

am fine n u?

Hello ,bayley hw ar yu doing pls can we be friends

HI alberta pls can we be friends

Am new here

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Latest Reply

Hello girl mi too

me too am also new here

March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.

Am New Here

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Am new herr

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Am new here

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Am new here

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Latest Reply

Sure Diana, we can be friends and how are you.

Am cool,and you bayley?

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Is it bad to kiss your bf a deep kiss?

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.

Uhmmmm dis makes me feel good

March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.