Ibukun tells us how she got rid of her older male toasters
I was 16 years old when Lanre my 28 year- old neighbour asked me out.
It started with him sending me on errands. Everytime I help him he would dash me his change. I thought he was just being nice.
But then I started to notice that he was only nice to me. He wasn’t like that with other girls in our compound.
One day he called me aside and started to say things that made me feel uncomfortable. He said I looked ripe enough. He said I look more mature than other girls my age.
He told me he liked me and would like me to be his girlfriend.
I told him I was too young for him.
But then he said age is just a number. He said I was old enough for him.
He started to make promises. He promised to send me to school and to always give me money.
He asked me not to tell anyone about our conversation
That’s when I started to suspect him. I had heard about older men like Lanre on Springster.
A good example was Dupe’s story.
I knew I had to be very careful with him.
And so I pleaded with him to leave me alone. He refused to listen. Just like Dupe advised I decided to report him to a trusted older adult.
I told my mum about him. She was so happy I opened up to her. She approached Lanre and asked him to stay away from me.
She even threatened to report him to the police if he approached me again.
This incidence with Lanre has really taught me how important it is to speak up for myself.
I have also learnt that reporting to an adult when a situation gets out of hand doesn’t mean I am dull.
You too can learn to always open up. Don’t be scared to say NO. Don’t be afraid to report someone who is making you feel uncomfortable to an older trusted adult. Remember you are not to blame for their behaviour.
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pls big sister help me I have been having feelings for a guy since wen I was in basic 2 and now I am in ss3 I first thought it was a crush and expected to go but it is still there though he did not ask me out I feel he likes me. I am always uncomfortable around him I feel like he should kiss and hug me. I find myself thinking about him. though we have not seen each other for a month now because of school I miss him badly my pride won't let me call first what should I do?
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hello Vick try call him u can start by being friends don't try to push him too hard and don't rush anything u still got time smiles dear
don't rush it get to know him and let him get to know you you can call him and become friends then try to find out if he like you and if your brave enough you can just ask him if he says no respect his decision but if he says yes you can become his girlfriend but be careful Don't!! try sex because it can lead to unwanted pregnancy and if he trys to force you to have sex or do something that makes you feel uncomfortable I advice you tell a trusted adult because your safety is very important
young guy is hare
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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lol.young guys aren't to be trusted either.
so what should we do now or should we run away.
Yes bcos it gud 2 speak out weneva u r b entangled
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
her srory is just like mine .theres one old fool in my neighbourhood I reported him to my mum immediately.
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
like honestly I like what she did I like it in a way that she did not insult him
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
What if the older man says he will wait till am matured
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey Ch8! Thanks for the comment. Why should he wait for you when there are so many other girls out there? You need to let him know that you are not interested in him and you should report to a trusted adult immediately. We hope this helps
I Liked Wat She Did B/cause She Reported
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
I Hav A Friend,she Is Always Following a Boy,and The Boy Is My Boyfriend.Advice Me What Should I Do?
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
she did the right thing
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
What if you are scared, lyk I was when I was molested
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. We are so sorry about this and we understand how you feel. No one ever chooses to be molested dear. We will have to refer you to a professional for this. You can speak to professionals who can give good advice to your questions at the Child Advocacy Centre for young people on 08 00 80 08 00 1. This service is completely confidential - which means they won't share what you say to them with other people. It is free which means you do not need to have credit before calling them. We wish you all the best and we hope this helps
This is just the advice i needed as encourage to speak up for myself☺😊
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Encouragement mean
Hey Springster! We are glad you liked this article. Feel free to share with your friends.
An older guy once asked me out. I was very firm in telling him NO and he didn't take the matter further. Tip: when you're firm with your answer, they'll also have to respect your decision. But if you act like you're not sure, they'll surely take advantage of you. Still, if you know you're not so bold enough to give them an answer then why not go with the advice from the article; report to a trusted adult.
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Bhella! You are very correct. How you say NO is very important. If you do not sound uncertain, they will never take you seriously. You need to be very certain and sure so that they can believe you. We hope this helps
Yes. when i warn him to stay away frm me he refuse then something came to my mind dat whenever he call me i shud ignore that was wht i did up til he has stop disturbing me
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
I susgest u avoid them
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
i didnt tel any1 abt it.i just ignored him,his msg but i still greet him
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
i dont know why all those people that asked me out called me on the street whenever I get out. I see guys taking me as a cheap girl. I have never had a face to face conversation with a boy about dating. please can something be wrong with me?
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Latest Reply
Hey bessy! Thanks for the comment. There is nothing wrong with you. Do not let anyone make you feel cheap. A lot of guys do this and these guys do not know how to treat women so whenever they do so, just ignore them, keep your head up high and walk away (This is what Big Sister also does). Do not allow a guy to validate you. You do not need a boy to talk to you about dating for you to believe that you are a normal female. So sweetheart, nothing is wrong with you okay? We hope this helps
big sis am entering SS1 by September this year and their is a senior I has feeling for and he is actually entering SS3 this September and am 14 he might be 18 or so but I want to date him but I don't want to date him at school because of what people will say to me but I kind of like him what will I do big sis
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
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I think what am feeling for this guy is not really love but crush cause when someone is in love they don't care about what people say and you both have to know each and love is a process it does not happen overnight. Thanks to my sister she made me to understand what am really feeling cause sometimes I do jump to conclusion and say is love but this time my beautiful sister helped me out.
Hello am New here am I welcome
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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welcome
Thanks a lot besty for ur kind gesture dear,am fine we thank God for everything shai
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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Hi jbaby, hw far its been long since u came online whats up or is it sch thats keeping u busy and hidden.
Good
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
You are welcome Dearestire.
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
Happy Sunday to you guys í ½í¸í ½í¸âº
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
I like this place New though😎
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
Toast them back ,like bread
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
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Abi, hahahahaha u are very ash, can we be friends. Are u male or female?
Sori ooo i meant to say u are veri funny ash, not u are (very ash). Sori once again.
Wonderful story
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
That a bold step it nice Great story
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
That a bold step it nice Great story
March 20, 2022, 7:55 p.m.
There is dis guy i my chuch he always stare at me nd wen our eyes met he would smile wat does dat mean
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Hi Am new here
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Um....Hi,I'm new here .....'Bout 70% of guys dat ask me out are way older than i am,i turn them down politely but they don't seem to understand d word 'NO'....I've told my mom about it-no luck there....what do i do?i dnt want to step on any one's toes by acting rude...pls how do i get rid of them?
March 20, 2022, 7:53 p.m.