Hauwa’s story
When I was 12 years old my father married me off to Mallam Aminu a wealthy farmer with 3 wives.
I cried almost everyday when I first got married. I missed my family, my friends and school. I couldn’t understand why I had to be here. I was really sad.
My husband stopped me from going to school.
Most days all I had to do was sit at home and take care of the younger children.
I knew I could be much more than just a bride. I asked my husband to allow me learn a trade or a skill. At first he refused but then I begged him. He finally accepted.
I enrolled for a bead making training organized by a Non-governmental organization (NGO) in my community. It was at the training I met other young brides like myself.
They showed us how to start and manage our business after we completed our training. During my training I started to make beads for the children at home and the other wives.
Soon other women started paying me to make beads for them. I didn’t have to depend on my husband for everything anymore.
Today I am 18 years old with a child and a skill that gives me money to support myself and my family.
My husband has asked the other wives to go and learn a trade. He has started encouraging the female children to go back to school.
I might not have been able to say no to marrying early but I have been able to secure a better future for myself and my household.
You too can do the same for yourself
Are you feeling pressure to marry? Do you feel like you are not ready? Talk to a trusted adult or your parents about this. Let them know you are not ready. If you’re unsure how to approach them why not try speaking to a close family member or respected elder they trust. They can help you open the discussion with your parents.
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Your thoughts
Everyone have their own plans...but certainly somethings happen so suddenly, and it also depends on the sex A man should be ready enough financially if he wants to get married early!
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
I love your courage...thanks for being a strong woman
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
Nice one It isreally good for a girl to speak out and fight for her right.This is one of the discrimination girls go through
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
Encouraging !
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
Nice have faith and be confident in our decision as women
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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mavalous
I love this piece..
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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Hey Doris! This article was written because of you and we are glad you love it. Feel free to share it with your friends
is it wrong to have a boyfriend at 15 years
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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yes u are right
Hey Starbaby! It all depends on you. Are you ready to have a boyfriend? Is having a boyfriend going to be a distraction? Being a relationship comes with a lot of mixed feeling, if you can handle them all, then yes you can. We hope this helps.
there is a boy dat luv me since last 3 yrs bt he is still waiting 4 me should i accept him am 17 yrs
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
What of 14 big sister is it ryt to have a boyfriend
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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Hey Danielle! It all depends on you. Are you ready to have a boyfriend? Is having a boyfriend going to be a distraction? Being a relationship comes with a lot of mixed feeling, if you can handle them all, then yes you can. We hope this helps.
Am nt ready to marry
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
hello gud evening ervy one am new here
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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Hey girl! Welcome to GEM Nigeria. We hope you like the stories. You can also invite your friends here.
whats dis platform ol about...am new here
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
at what age cn a girl have a boyfriend
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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Hey Efosa! It all depends on you. Are you ready to have a boyfriend? Is having a boyfriend going to be a distraction? Being a relationship comes with a lot of mixed feeling, if you can handle them all, then yes you can. We hope this helps.
Is it bad a 16 year old boy to date a 14 year old
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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Hey girl! It all depends on you. Are you ready to have a boyfriend? Is having a boyfriend going to be a distraction? Being a relationship comes with a lot of mixed feeling, if you can handle them all, then yes you can. We hope this helps.
Plz can a guy of 23 years old mary a lady of 29years old?
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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Well iyke it depends on the both of them, if they love each other I don't see why
Hey Iyke! Marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and one must be mature before he/she thinks of getting married. When it comes to marriage, age should be the least of your worries. You need to ask yourself a few questions; Do I have a house, a stable source of income and am I balanced enough to settle down/carry the responsibility of a family alone? Once you have answered these questions sincerely and you still feel the need to get married, make sure the lady has no problem with getting married to someone 6 years younger than her. We hope this helps.
Am very glad, tanx alot big sis.may d lord lead u.
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
I am very happy for de word tanks my big sister
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
Wow, such women are rare!
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
Getting married at age of 12 to 15 is not a good idea
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
Marrying at age of 12 was so bad
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
Can I Get Marry At Age Of 25
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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Hey Tailor! There is no right age for one to get married (although you have to be above 18 in Nigeria). Marriage is meant to 2 mature people that are ready to handle the responsibilities without having to include external parties. You both need to have a steady source of income, a house to call your own and sincere respect and love for each other. Once again, the most important thing is maturity. We hope this helps.
Thank U
A girl of 26 year old is in love with me and am 22, please what should i do ?
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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Hey Lawson! Relationships comes with a lot of responsibility and one must be mature before he/she thinks of getting married. When it comes to relationships, age should be the least of your worries. You need to ask yourself a few questions; am I balanced enough to settle down/carry the responsibility and pressures of being in a relationship alone? Once you have answered these questions sincerely and you still feel the need to get into a relationship, make sure the boy has no problem with getting involved with someone younger than him. We hope this helps.
Big sister,am boy of 24 yrs old,i no want get girlfriend, i really want to married,and i no have handwork,what will i do tell me
Big sister pls m ready to marry nw bt I v so many suitor hw can I knw d right one
Hello friends am new here, please can you tell me the normal yrs man can get married
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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24,26
Am ready 4 marrage bt my boyfrnd is ready wat should i do?
March 20, 2022, 8:03 p.m.
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Hey Tresure! There is not much you can do about this because you cannot force anyone to get married. He has to be ready to get married to make the move towards marriage. Marriage is full of responsibilities so we understand if he not ready to take up the huge responsibility. We hope this helps.
How do I know if my boyfriend is ready for marriage
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Chinny! First of all, are you ready for marriage? Secondly, is he ready for the responsibilities of marriage? Does he have a house, a good job and is he balanced enough to settle down? Does he have a steady flow of income to take care of a home. What is the most important thing is that you are ready for marriage. There is a lot more that goes into marriage so you have to be sure that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with someone else. You both also have to be above the age of 18 also to be considered as adults according to the Nigerian law. We hope this helps.
am not redi
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
Big Sis Is It Gud 4 A Boy Of 24yr Marriag A Girl Of 16yrs
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Godwin! According to the Nigerian law, the legal age for marriage is 18 years and only an official adult should be allowed to get married. Also, there is a lot that goes into marriage which includes being mentally and physically ready, having a steady source of income, a house, consent from the other party etc. We hope this helps
Big Sis Tanks Very Much
nt now
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
nt ready
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
i will but not now
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
Hy. Big sister I have high sexual huge and I always be in mood but my fiance is not ready to marry or to settle down besides my parent will not allow me to get marry please big sister advice me what should I do
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Joy! Thanks for opening up through this comment. Having a high urge for sex is normal especially at this age. It is how you handle your urge for sex that matters. Now, marriage is not the cure or the solution for you to curb your urge for sex. You can control your urge for sex by keeping your mind engaged. You can choose to study, gist with friends, take up a hobby or a chore etc. Also, keep reminding yourself of the risks involved in sex maybe that will take your mind off it for a bit. You are in control of your mind and thoughts. Try actively thinking of the current situation at hand. Avoid staying around people that remind you of sexual activities. Finally, please talk to a trusted adult who will not judge you. We hope this helps.
Very nice and interested story
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Springster! This article was written because of you and we are glad you love it. Feel free to share it with your friends
What age shud a girl get maried
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Goody! There is no right age for one to get married (although you have to be above 18 in Nigeria). Marriage is meant to 2 mature people that are ready to handle the responsibilities without having to include external parties. You both need to have a steady source of income, a house to call your own and sincere respect and love for each other. Once again, the most important thing is maturity. We hope this helps.
Hey Springster! We removed this message because you added your personal information
IS it good that parent should dictate girls education or at what age to enter university
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Blessing! Parents dictate these things for their children because they feel the children are not old enough to make these decisions for themselves and they may also feel like they are in the best position to make such decisions for their children. We hope this helps.
Am 18 is this the right time for me to have boyfriend?
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Nussy! There is no particular age for one to start dating. Dating has to do with maturity and not age. Before you start dating someone, be sure that you are really ready for the responsibilities of dating and if you are mentally prepared for it. Also, don't date because your friends are doing it or because a boy is pressurising you to do it. We hope this helps.
blessed
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
Does true love exist?
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Goody! Yes dear, true love exists. We hope this helps.
is it okey to marry a guy tfat your parent dont like
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Ashie! This is a personal decision because it is you that will be in the marriage and not the person advising. However, you should note that marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and one must be mature before he/she thinks of getting married. When it comes to marriage, you need to ask yourself a few questions; Do I have a house, a stable source of income and am I balanced enough to settle down/carry the responsibility of a family alone? Once you have answered these questions sincerely and you still feel the need to get married, make sure the lady has no problem with getting married to someone 6 years younger than her. We hope this helps.
okay
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
nice one and thanks
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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You are welcome love
is 25 the best age to get married ?pls i need a clear answer to this
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Flasz! There is no right age for one to get married (although you have to be above 18 in Nigeria). Marriage is meant to 2 mature people that are ready to handle the responsibilities without having to include external parties. You both need to have a steady source of income, a house to call your own and sincere respect and love for each other. Once again, the most important thing is maturity. We hope this helps.
Is 18 Good To Get Married
March 20, 2022, 8:02 p.m.
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Hey Jessey! There is no right age for one to get married (although you have to be above 18 in Nigeria). Marriage is meant to 2 mature people that are ready to handle the responsibilities without having to include external parties. You both need to have a steady source of income, a house to call your own and sincere respect and love for each other. Once again, the most important thing is maturity. We hope this helps.
Good determination.
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
am'new,and'i,enjoy'the'story'is,encoraging
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
Nice update
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
Lovely update
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
Nice one
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
Evry dark cloud has a silver lining.Make the best use of ur time,talent & all
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
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yes aurora
well may God help me
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
Type your comment here, is it okay ti have someone you are dating at the age of 17
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
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Hey Tawa! There is no particular age for one to start dating. Dating has to do with maturity and not age. Before you start dating someone, be sure that you are really ready for the responsibilities of dating and if you are mentally prepared for it. Also, don't date because your friends are doing it or because a boy is pressurizing you to do it. We hope this helps.
i donn' like the idea of some one dating isn't it better to respect our self untill thd right time comes for marriage
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
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pls am'new it's bad to date another villages person,like Igbo,Hausa,because I had a person am date.that boy head Yoruba but it can't speak it out.....I ask him y can't speak Yoruba he said they parents isn't teaching him Yoruba......and I love the guy....my parents said I can't married him....wat do I do.
Is is good to marry a guy of ur age?Im into relationsip that might lead to marriage with a guy who is ma age buh older than me with months wil it affect our marriage?Coz im deeply inlove with him
March 20, 2022, 8:01 p.m.
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Hey Mma! Marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and one must be mature before he/she thinks of getting married. When it comes to marriage, age should be the least of your worries. You need to ask yourself a few questions; Do I have a house, a stable source of income and am I balanced enough to settle down/carry the responsibility of a family alone? Once you have answered these questions sincerely and you still feel the need to get married, make sure the lady has no problem with getting married to someone 6 years younger than her. We hope this helps.
Is there a specific age for marriage
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey Ella_j! No there isn't. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and one must be mature before he/she thinks of getting married. When it comes to marriage, age should be the least of your worries. You need to ask yourself a few questions; Do I have a house, a stable source of income and am I balanced enough to settle down/carry the responsibility of a family alone? Once you have answered these questions sincerely and you still feel the need to get married, make sure the lady has no problem with getting married to someone 6 years younger than her. We hope this helps.
Good Advice
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
NICE ONE
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
i appreciate
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Good one .
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
I've made a decision to get married @22 is it a gud choice?
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hello Berryben! Marriage should always be the choice of the person getting married. As long as it is fully your decision to get married at 22 (you are not just doing so to please somebody) and you have met the person who want to marry when you turn 22 then we support you. We hope this helps.
Hi Big sis, is it right to date someone that is 10 years old than me?
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Why not sis.had it been you are a lover!
Hey Glowrie22! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision for you to make. However, you need to be sure of the decision you are taking because marrying someone 10 years older than you means they have a more mature outlook to life and will definitely think differently. You need to be on the same page with them and have a very good understanding before you think of getting married. We hope this helps.
All comment & replies are wonderful
Z it gud 2 get married at d age of 21 witout achievin anytin bcoz d person she wnts 2 get mari 2 z wnt dem 2 get maried.
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hello Tommy, thanks for your comment. We guess you are talking about someone you know. At 21, she is an adult and the decision is her own. But as a friend you can try to advise her. We agree that women should not get married just because someone else wants them to get married. If she has told you that there are things she wants to do before getting married then keep reminding her that she has not done them. All you can be is a good friend to her. We hope this helps.
Married earlier. It might work for you but it might not work for others, because we ve different ways to succeed in life,, not only one way?, I hope if you read this cmmnt you won't get me wrong.
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Hi.am 15 years and am in love with a guy we've met on social media,we never seen each other.he really want to marry me like wise me too,I don't know how to express my feelings to my mother. What will I do? Is that good for me to marry him?
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey Smiles! First of all, you cannot get married to someone that you have not seen yet. Obviously, people are different in person. You both need to court for a while offline and know yourselves for real not the online personality. You should also tell your mum about him. You know your mum better than we do so choose a good time to open up to her. We cannot tell you if he is good enough for you to marry. You just need to be extra careful because not everyone on social media is safe and has good intentions. We hope this helps
Thanks a lot big sister
At 15 yrs of age, I will say you are too young for marriage. Your preoccupation now should be your education. Secondly, to agree to marry someone you met online without haven't been able to meet physically is out of the question. For marriage to take place, you have court and get to know your partner in person and study each other for compatibility purpose.. I will suggest that you talk to a very close relation of yours for advice.
of course,every thing in life is being achieved by your efforts or intentions have in mind.
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
Wow.hi big sister d same is happen to me.what can i do
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. You can do what Hauwa did and become independent. Also, talk to a trusted adult around you for guidance. We hope this helps
am a student and am in a relationship ,my guy is disturbing me about marriage and i am in level 1 and my parent dun't want me marry now ,and i realy love my guy i dunt want to loose him .Help me out pls big sis
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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Hey meeru! Thanks for the comment. Are you ready to get married? If you are not, do not be under pressure to marry. You still have to focus on your education. Your guy should not be in a hurry to get married. There is time for everything and so if you both are meant to be, nothing will stop you. We just do not advise you to abandon the things you are working on for marriage. We hope this helps
My boyfriend keeps disturbing me about getting married to him, and I'm in level 1 .what should I do
March 20, 2022, 8 p.m.
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explain to him if you are not ready and if both understand surelly both of you will get marry to eachother
Hey mhiztima! Please focus on your education for now. If he truly loves you, he will wait for you to finish with school before he starts talking about marriage. There is time for everything and this is the time to be in school. If you are not ready, do not let him put you under any form of pressure. We hope this helps
IF U RE 16 AND DATING A MAN OF 27 YEARS IS IT RIGHT
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey RINA! This is a personal decision and it is up to you to make. Please be careful and be sure that you are not in the relationship because of the comfort or things that he is giving to you. Also be sure that he truly loves you and he is not using you. We hope this helps
i want get married
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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Hey MALAM! According to the Nigerian law, the legal age for marriage is 18 years and only an official adult should be allowed to get married. Also, there is a lot that goes into marriage which includes being mentally and physically ready, having a steady source of income, a house, consent from the other party etc. We hope this helps
I cnt gt married at my age bcos am schooling nd I think d moment I gt married to som1 else brings d end of my schooling
March 20, 2022, 7:59 p.m.
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even if i want to get married now my father will not get me married
I couldn't get married now,becos am a apprentice at fashion designer,and i will do my freedom next year and write jamb,and go to my school
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
i can't get married nw becos my eye did nt open yet nd i dt ve wt to do
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
though my relatoinship is complicated n am due for marriage.. ..I just wish I could settle down now but Wit a God fearing man. ...
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey mb143! Why do you think you are due for marriage? If you are using age to determine if you are due for marriage, then we will like to let you know that you are not right. Readiness for marriage has nothing to do with age. As long as you are not mentally and emotionally mature/ready, even if you are 40 years old, you are not due for marriage. Do not rush into marriage because you feel you are due when you cannot handle the responsibilities of marriage. There is no latecomer when it comes to marriage. You cannot end up with a complicated marriage and expect to be happy. Your happiness and your sanity is very important and it is better for you not to rush into it. Marriage is till death do your part and it is better to take your time to be ready. Forever is a long time...always remember that. We hope this helps
marrying early is not forced but traditional of some tribes. but leaning a trade is never aged limited. this story tells of a damsel who had konkad her doubts, i love dis 1
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
Big sister my girl who i wanted to marry was engaged with someone by force. Wht is the solution.
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey Springster! Thanks for the comment. This is very personal and you both need to talk about it together. However, you need to be sure that you are ready to marry at the moment. You have everything in place to get married, physically, mentally, financially etc. Talking about it will really help. We hope this helps
Is it.right to get married.at the age. Of. 18
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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I don't think its right But its cool if you think you'll be alright and the emotional load is too much for a 18yrs old. And if you're financially stable you can cause you need to be independent so no one can hurt or mistreat you my opinion
Hey Lolo! Marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and one must be mature before he/she thinks of getting married. When it comes to marriage, age should be the least of your worries. You need to ask yourself a few questions; Do I have a house, a stable source of income and am I balanced enough to settle down/carry the responsibility of a family alone? Once you have answered these questions sincerely and you still feel the need to get married, make sure your partner is also ready for marriage and has also answered these questions. We hope this helps.
I wanna get married at age 25 after I finish studying medicine I want to be independent
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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That's great.... buh sori,,at what age did u start studying d medicine....n sori at which school?
Would it be okay if i marry a white lady? My parents are against it but i love her😢. Help me out big sis
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey Miketune! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision. We cannot tell you who to marry however, you need to be sure that you are really in love with the person and not just the idea of marrying a white person. Also, are you financially stable to marry? Do you have an apartment and a steady source of income? What ways do you intend contributing to the marriage and also, what makes you so sure that the person you want to marry understands your vision (if you have one). You need to honestly answer these questions (to yourself). We hope this helps
Big six is it okay 2_marry before kiss in a_boy plus before hv sex
March 20, 2022, 7:58 p.m.
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Hey Pre111! Thanks for the comment. This is a personal decision and it is up to you to make. We hope this helps
It Reli Touchin 4 Me Marriage Is Not A Pass-time Issue It A Life-time
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
hello big sis,l love husband that I always feel jealous when I see a couple, but I don't I know the right time to say yes I do,
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
At what age is de best to get married
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
am 15 old when I got married with one man called Mr Okeke from IMO state........ things was very hard then........ but now am 22yrs old ....... I thank God for my life
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
I will never be forced. to get married early as 12 or 15
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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some parent force their girls to marry early
Hey Big sis,am new here.Am 20,a 300l student in the college.My boyfriend wants us to get married by next year n I feel am nt matured enough.What should I do?
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Hey Presh! Thanks for the comment. There is no deadline to marry. As you feel you are not matured and ready for it then do not force it. Marriage requires a lot of work and effort and it is not child's play. The fact that he wants to marry next year does not mean that you must marry him next year. Please, your education is the most important thing right now and not marriage. You need to focus on it okay? We hope this helps
Hello Presh if you are not ready yet to marry don't marry cause marriage is an everlasting thing and remember be wise and always follow your heart and don't be in a rush to get married.until you are ready to get Married.
please ma,am 22 now can I marry a guy that is 7months older than me. and is there any problem with that
March 20, 2022, 7:57 p.m.
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Yes you can marry me but you go teach me how to fuck cos am very young
hi wondrous you can but get married after all he is older than you.
yes u can it very ok dear
am 23yrs old bt am nt ready 4any marriage is ok 4 m nw?
March 20, 2022, 7:56 p.m.
Getting married early early is nice
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.
Early marriage has it's good and bad.
March 20, 2022, 7:54 p.m.