I am ashamed to talk to my aunt

Simi learns how to open up

I am ashamed to talk to my aunt

A few months ago I was really in a tough place. To make matters worse I had no-one to talk to about my wahala.

I had just moved to Lagos to live with my aunt. And so I had no friends. I spent most of time shuttling between my aunt’s shop and my computer training class.

I was lonely. My aunt wasn’t exactly the easiest person to talk to.

The only person I could call a friend was a 20-year old guy called Michael in my computer training class.

Michael and I became good friends really quick.

I really liked him and wished he could be my boyfriend even though he was 3 years older. But I didn’t know how to tell him.

There was no one around to advise me on how to address my feelings. My aunt wasn’t an option. I didn’t want her to laugh at me. Or say stuff like “Simi has a crush” or call me “madam lover lover”.

And so one day after class I told Michael about my feelings. He looked surprised. He told me I was like a younger sister to him. He said he wanted us to just be friends.

It really hurt me. I was so moody afterwards. My aunt noticed. She asked me what was wrong.

I didn’t know how to tell her. She threatened to beat me if I refuse to talk.

I told her what happened.

Surprisingly she didn’t laugh or scream at me. She asked why I didn’t come to her in the first place for advice. I told her I was ashamed and didn’t want her to make fun of me.

She said she will never make fun of matters of the heart. She said she had once been in my position.

She told me what I felt was normal. She asked me not to allow Michael’s response affect my mood.

I really wished I had spoken to her before approaching Michael. She wasn’t so scary or bad after all.

My advice is to learn how to open up. You should never feel ashamed or scared to ask for help. Look for a trusted adult you can confide in.

Find the right time to speak them for example you can start a conversation when you both are watching tv or cooking together.

And if you feel scared or ashamed to talk to them first practice what you want to say in front of a mirror or with a close friend. When you finally decide to talk to that adult imagine you are speaking to your close friend. It will reduce the fear or nervousness you feel at the point of conversation.

The truth is when you have a trusted adult guiding you, you are less likely to make mistakes.

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  • relationship
  • friendship
  • family